Begin with the End in Mind

Posted on September 4, 2018 by admin

This is a thought experiment from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People that highlights the importance of Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind. For me, this is one of the most powerful segments from the book and it always makes me rethink my priorities when I’m reminded of it.

“In your mind’s eye, see yourself going to the funeral of a loved one. Picture yourself driving to the funeral parlor or chapel, parking the car, and getting out. As you walk inside the building, you notice the flowers, the soft organ music. You see the faces of friends and family you pass along the way. You feel the shared sorrow of losing, the joy of having known, that radiates from the hearts of the people there.

As you walk down to the front of the room and look inside the casket, you suddenly come face to face with yourself. This is your funeral, three years from today. All these people have come to honor you, to express feelings of love and appreciation for your life. 

As you take a seat and wait for the services to begin, you look at the program in your hand. There are to be four speakers. The first is from your family, immediate and also extended  – children, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, aunts, uncles, cousins, and grandparents who have come from all over the country to attend. The second speakers is one of your friends, someone who can give a sense of who you were as a person. The third speaker is from your work or profession. And the fourth is from your church or some community organization where you’ve been involved in service.

Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What kind of husband, wife, father, or mother would you like their words to reflect? What kind of son or daughter or cousin? What kind of friend? What kind of working associate?

What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you. What difference would you like to have made in their lives?”

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Focus on the Important Things

Posted on September 3, 2018 by admin

A few years ago, I tried to keep track of as many current events and world affairs as possible. I sought out facts, opinions, and information about anything and everything that caught my attention. If an article floated across my newsfeed, I’d pull it up, read it, and then comment on it if I felt I had something useful to say about it. Almost every day I went out of my way to research as many current events as possible and share them with anyone who wanted to hear them (which turned out to be very few people).

After about a year, this became unsustainable. I drove myself crazy trying to stay on top of everything and figure out who to believe. For my own sanity I had to withdraw. I gravitated toward lighter subjects and things I believed would add value to the lives of others. I ended up scrolling past most of the current event posts I saw. When I did read an article or watch a video on weightier issues, I rarely commented on it and made an effort to think less about it than I used to. I also became a lot more laid back and less prone to arguing than I was before.

At this point, I’m somewhere in between those two extremes. I don’t go out of my way to follow current events, but I do check them out more than I did during the total withdrawal. That withdrawal did help me in at least one other way, though: whenever I sense that I’m being drawn into drama or some activity that adds no positive value to the world, I try to remind myself “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” That usually helps me keep my priorities straight.

I’m still trying to get better at focusing on the right things and ignoring the rest. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I only have a certain amount of time, energy, and attention that I can put toward any given activity; the more of those resources I waste on unimportant activities, the less I’ll have for the important ones. Occasional reminders and a lot of time seeing how much better it works when I focus on the right things have worked well for me, and I believe this will only get easier over time.

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Review of 12 Rules for Life

Posted on September 2, 2018 by admin

I enjoyed reading 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson. Those of you who have read my post on how much my life has been positively affected by hearing a piece of simple advice from Peterson probably aren’t surprised that I also found value in his book. While I find his political ideas interesting, I think his life advice is where he really shines, and his book contains a lot of good stuff.

It started out a little slow but picked up steam after the first few chapters. Some of Peterson’s critics say his advice is worthless or that he says a lot without saying much. I agree that he could be more focused and trim some fat out of his writing, but I disagree about the utility of his advice. Those who have their lives more or less together probably don’t need much help and probably won’t benefit from what Peterson has to say, while those who are struggling and do need some guidance will probably benefit if they put his recommendations into action. I’ve certainly benefited from doing that, and a lot of other people seem to be benefiting as well.

Unlike many other self-help books, which tend to have an optimistic message about everything working out, 12 Rules for Life contains a great deal of negativity and darkness. Peterson makes several mentions of Nazi concentration camps and Soviet gulags as reminders of the dark side of humanity. He also includes stories from people he’s personally known whose lives went downhill until they came to an end. By including examples of some of the worst things humans have done, he shows quite clearly what to avoid, and, with the recommendations for positive action in the book, he provides a starting point for what to work toward and how to do so. 

This ties in with his exercise (that I don’t think was mentioned in the book) in which you write out in detail your best possible life and your worst possible life; once you’ve done that, you can put together a plan to move toward your personal heaven and away from your personal hell. As suggested by the subtitle, “An Antidote to Chaos”, Peterson’s thinking is that by focusing on getting our own lives together (which is the area of the world in which we have the greatest degree of control), we can gradually build up our confidence and competence before turning that focus outward. In this way, we’ll be more likely to succeed in making the world better rather than failing to make an impact or making things worse. If enough people did that, the world would contain a lot less suffering and maybe some of the problems that currently appear unsolvable could be eliminated.

I’d recommend checking out the book, especially if any of this sounds interesting to you. If you’re not a fan of his or you’ve heard negative things about him, I completely understand. However, if you still want to check out the book even if he’s not your cup of tea, then I recommend a life hack I mentioned in another post: separate Peterson from his ideas and focus just on the ideas. Even a blind squirrel occasionally finds a nut, and looking at someone’s ideas without attaching the ideas to that person makes it easier to see if they hold water. If you do check out the book, I’d love to know what you think about it and if it helps you. For me, this is a great book that I’ll probably refer to periodically as I make my way in the world. 

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My Dream Road Trip

Posted on September 1, 2018 by admin

For years now, I’ve wanted to get a camper van and take a road trip around the continental US. I love road trips and, as I found out on a big road trip I took last year, I have no problem driving 10+ hours a day. I’d love nothing more than to wander around the lower 48 states, taking in everything they have to offer.  Of course I’ll see the big stuff, the things tourists always visit, but I’ll also check out the hidden gems in each state. The out-of-the-way places and activities that only the locals know about; I think those will show me the heart of the city/state and give me wonderful lifelong memories.

There’s a lot of cool stuff to see and do in the US and a lot of ground to cover. Lots of states are bigger than whole countries, and every state except Alaska and Hawaii can be accessed by car without passing through any other countries. I don’t need a passport, translator, airplane, or anything else commonly used in international travel to explore most of my own backyard. Plus I know a lot more people in the US than any other country. I probably don’t know somebody in every state, but I think I know enough people around the country to have a safe place to stay and a friendly face to see for most of the trip.

Before embarking on this trip, I’ll make sure I have the financial freedom it’ll require. A trip like this doesn’t have to be insanely expensive, but I like to be prepared for more than I think I’ll need, and it probably won’t be cheap. Even more essential, though, than having enough money is having enough time. I’m working toward having more time freedom by looking into starting my own business and arranging it so that it requires minimal involvement from me (this may not be possible at first, but I see no reason that it couldn’t be done once it’s running steadily); this will get away from the 9 to 5 world, provide a second source of income while I still have a job, and, most importantly, let me set my own schedule so I can plan my work around my adventures. I’ve spent a lot of this year working toward having more time and financial freedom and I hope to be well on my way toward both by next year.

Because I’ll have no rigid schedule to follow and will probably take a few years to complete the trip, I’ll be able to camp out in a particular place until local friends have the time to visit and do cool things. Once I’ve explored a particular area, I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that I went there and saw it firsthand instead of just reading about it. I’ve become a lot less materialistic over the past few years and I’d now much rather make a lot of memories than collect a lot of stuff, a mindset that will no doubt be essential on a trip like this. This will be the biggest adventure of my life, though it probably won’t be the only one like it. Until then, I’ll continue going on the occasional grand adventure and frequent microadventures while I plan and move closer to my dream trip. 

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Books

Posted on August 31, 2018 by admin

I’ve always loved books. As a kid, I’d frequently visit the library and get whatever books looked interesting to me; sometimes I’d already read them and other times they were new to me. This is why I’ve never understood people who say they don’t like to read and they only read when they have to for school or work. I’ve probably read more books outside of school than I did while I was in school, and I think it’s served me well.

Most of the books I’ve read have been fiction. Although I love watching good movies and TV shows (or at least I did before I quit watching TV about five years ago), there are few things I enjoy more than getting lost in a good work of fiction. Being transported to another world, forgetting about my troubles, and living life through the characters is a great way to pass the time. Sometimes the stories contain valuable life lessons and other times they’re just intended to be entertaining; either way, I love a good story. 

I have a lot of coworkers, friends, and family members who also love reading good works of fiction, but not as many also enjoy reading nonfiction. Admittedly, it wasn’t until the last few years that nonfiction became my primary reading interest; most of the books I read for fun until I graduated from high school were fiction. While I still enjoy quality fiction every now and then, most of the books I’ve read since I graduated from high school (which was a little over six years ago at the time of this writing) have been nonfiction. More specifically, they’ve mostly been books that offer an explanation for some phenomenon in life. I’ve read to some degree about psychology, history, economics, politics, spirituality, and physics. Psychology and spirituality are the subjects that have fascinated me the most and, in my opinion, gone the farthest in offering credible explanations for things about the world. I’ve also found them to be the most useful in my daily life, which I think is what I mostly look for in books at this point. 

Learning more about the world through reading has blown my mind and humbled me as it’s shown me how much I don’t know. It’s also helped me better navigate life, given me lots of interesting talking points to use in conversations, improved my interactions with others, and provided me with tons of material for this blog. No matter how many books I read, I’ll never read them all; no matter how much I learn, I’ll never know it all. Rather than being depressed by those facts, I’m instead excited by them. It challenges me to decide which books to read (as Carl Sagan talks about in this great clip) and ensures that I’ll always be surprised by finding a new piece of knowledge. There are many different ways to learn and many different sources of entertainment, but books will always be my favorite source of both. 

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Humanitarian Plan

Posted on August 30, 2018 by admin

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt called to help people get to a better position in life. I already do what I can, but the ideas I’d like to pursue are on a much larger scale than anything I’ve been able to do thus far. This post will describe the plan I have in mind at this point as best as I can, which I hope will help make it come to pass at some point in the next five years, even if it’s much simpler in the beginning and not the final form I have in mind. 

The way I see it, there are two parts of life that everybody should have in order: the physical and the spiritual. If they have the physical but not the spiritual, they’ll feel unfulfilled; if they have the spiritual but not the physical, they’ll feel fulfilled but won’t have long to live. Effectively helping people requires getting both where they should be, and most people will probably require more work to get the spiritual life in order since that seems to be the more neglected one. 

Since shelter is one of the basic requirements for survival, the first step will be to establish a large enough shelter to house the people who have nowhere else to go. Having a safe place to sleep each night and avoid bad weather, dangerous people, and toxic situations will provide a great deal of peace to everyone there and help them move forward.

While they live there, they’ll have access to whatever they need to get their lives together: food, showers, security, medical care, counseling/therapy, childcare services, transportation, exercise facilities, spiritual guidance, etc. Once their basic needs are met, the focus will shift from surviving to thriving. Everyone will get a savings account (into which money is deposited monthly) and a checking account for expenses they would eventually have to cover, job training, financial information and assistance, and other useful resources for getting their lives in order. Although there will be an effort to do as many of these things as possible at the shelter, things such as medical procedures and certain kinds of legal help may require transportation to other places; in either case, qualified professionals would be used for all of these tasks in order to get the best possible results. 

As everyone gets more stable and their capacity to support themselves increases, outside support will gradually be reduced until it’s no longer needed. For example, there will still be monthly deposits into everyone’s savings accounts even after they get good jobs or start their own businesses, but the deposits would gradually shrink in size. This way they won’t have the rug pulled out from underneath them but they also won’t continue receiving assistance when they’re fully independent. 

In addition to putting my own money into this project, I’m thinking of using crowdfunding, private donations, and help from existing organizations to get this going. I have no experience running anything like this, so I’ll take whatever help or suggestions I can get. There’s no rush, though, as it’ll probably be at least a few years before I’ll be able to start this. Also, please feel free to take any of these ideas and use them yourself. The more people working on humanitarian ventures, the better the world will be. 

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Put On Your Mask First

Posted on August 29, 2018 by admin

Anyone who’s flown on a commercial airplane in the past few decades knows that if there’s an emergency and the masks drop down, they tell you to put on your mask first before trying help the person next to you put on theirs. I understood this in the context of flying but not in the context of my life. I spent years trying to think of how to solve some of the major problems in the world. Much of that time involved arguing with other people about ways that might or might not work, and, as you might have guessed, that arguing did nothing to make a positive difference. If anything, it set progress back because it sucked up time and energy that could have been spent doing productive things.

Once I realized that I can’t save even one other person if I’m barely keeping my head above water, my priorities completely changed. I had everything backwards: I was counting on the idea that changing the world would make my life better when I should have been getting my life together before trying to change the world. Soon, it became clear to me that I wouldn’t be able to change the world in any meaningful, lasting way as long as I continued treading water. If I wanted to make any lasting, positive difference, I’d have to get to a stable place in my own life first.

I  spent more time working on myself and focusing on the areas of my life that needed fixing. Some might consider this selfish, but I had to do it if I wanted to be able to truly help other people; you can’t pour from an empty cup, and my cup had been empty for a long time. Taking time to rest, recharge, and rethink a lot of things in my life allowed me to reach out to others in ways I never could have before. By leaving a job I despised and getting one that I enjoyed much more and which also paid me better, I was able to give more money to people who needed help. I could give much better advice when someone wanted it because I had spent a lot of time figuring out solutions to my own problems, which improved my understanding of what works and what doesn’t. Gradually ridding myself of toxicity, whether it came from within myself or from those around me, allowed me to be more positive and compassionate toward others.

I’ve always felt called to help people, but I had to learn that I have to help myself first. Since I realized this, I’ve set aside time every day to breathe, meditate, pray, learn, and do some activity that’s purely about leisure. And, as I said in the previous paragraph, that’s been a huge benefit to both me and the people I’ve been able to help because of it. I don’t get burnt out anymore, I have much more patience, I have a greater ability to share what I have with those who can benefit from it, and I have a clearer picture than ever before of what the fulfillment of my life purpose may look like. Whether you’re pouring yourself out for your job, business, charitable cause, family, friends, or passions, please remember to save some time for yourself. You’ll be glad you did. 

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Review of The Fourth Turning

Posted on August 28, 2018 by admin

If you have just a few pieces of a puzzle with tens of thousands of pieces and no reference picture, you won’t know what you’re looking at or how the pieces all fit together. As you gain more pieces, gradually you’ll get an idea of what the big picture looks like and how the pieces fit together. This is what The Fourth Turning offers, although instead of a cardboard puzzle, it offers insight into why events happen the way they do.

In The Fourth Turning, authors William Strauss and Neil Howe reject the notion of linear time, in which things just happen one after the other. They propose a theory of cyclical time, with similar events recurring at regular intervals and generational archetypes playing different roles as time progresses. Their theory describes four “turnings” that each last for approximately 20-25 years and that together comprise one “saeculum”, which lasts for 80-100 years. Each turning has its own advantages and disadvantages that distinguish it from the others, much like the seasons in a year. Most people only experience each turning once in life, which makes it difficult to notice patterns and symmetries without a thorough knowledge of history.

According to their theory, every saeculum proceeds as follows: the first turning is a High in which most things are going in the right direction if they’re not already there, an Awakening that has people question and push back against the status quo, an Unraveling that has old institutions and ways of life giving way to new ones, and a Crisis that threatens civilization itself. Although their book was published in 1997, the authors predicted that the Crisis would begin around 2005. If they’re correct, then we’ve made it through most of the hard times and can expect the High to start sometime in the next decade. Past Crises have seen massive wars, major economic depressions, political revolutions, and other events that had the potential to end civilization. There’s no guarantee that we’ll make it, but there’s quite the reward to be had on the other side if we’re successful.

The book cuts through philosophy, politics, and economics while incorporating history and psychology to formulate its central theory of cyclical time. In doing so, the authors give no impression that they favor any particular turning over another or have a preference regarding social order or political/religious philosophy. Their focus is purely on the patterns that have occurred throughout history and the implications that those patterns contain. Even though they invariably got some of their predictions wrong, they still managed to get most of the beats correct even if they missed some of the notes. Considering that the book was published about 20 years ago at the time of this writing, their predictions for events that have sense occurred almost give the impression of them having a crystal ball. This book will probably require read several readings to absorb the sheer amount of information and fine details it contains, although it’s still an easy read for a layperson.

If you’re feeling distressed about current events, reading The Fourth Turning will probably give you a renewed sense of optimism about the future. Knowing that there’s a rhythm to life and that major events can be predicted fairly easily once that rhythm is understood has completely changed my perspectives on a wide range of subjects and given me hours of wonderment about the world in which I live. For a much more thorough exploration of the themes of the book, check out this article from The Art of Manliness. I hope this has been interesting and helpful, and I will see you in the next post.

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Don’t Take My Word For It

Posted on August 27, 2018 by admin

One of the most important lessons I ever learned the hard way was the importance of thinking for yourself. There are plenty of people out there who appear to know what they’re talking about and do a great job presenting their ideas. Sometimes they’re right and sometimes they’re not, but how do you tell the difference? 

Something that’s worked great for me is testing out ideas whenever possible. I’ve read a lot of books about interacting with other people, being productive, getting into the right mindset, managing stress, and other important life skills. Rather than just assume the authors are correct, I test their ideas. Sometimes it takes a while to make sure I’m doing it correctly if it’s something I’m not used to doing, but once I get the hang of it, I can see whether or not it actually works. 

Another great tool for testing ideas is to separate the ideas from the person who presents them. If I find someone appealing, I’m a lot more likely to accept whatever they say, whether good or bad. On the flip side, if I dislike someone, I’m much more likely to reject whatever they say, even if they have some good points. Whenever I can get the ideas by themselves and focus just on them, forgetting about the person who presents them and my personal feelings about them, it becomes much easier to test the merit of those ideas. This way, I can recognize where the people I like get it wrong and where the people I dislike get it right while avoiding making anyone an idol.

The third strategy I’ve found helpful for maintaining critical thinking skills is to not spend too much time focusing to any one person. Reading, watching, and listening to a lot of people give their thoughts on a wide range of subjects helps me hear a lot of different perspectives on those subjects. This makes it harder to blindly follow one person or get stuck on just one perspective. It’s also useful for adding nuance to my own views and being more understanding toward people who think differently than I do; even though we disagree, I can better understand where they’re coming from I’m more familiar with the arguments they use. 

Several of you have told me that you enjoy reading my blog and seeing my thoughts, which I greatly appreciate. However, I’m still sorting a lot of things out for myself and I have a long way to go before I’d consider myself to be an expert on anything. If I say something that helps you, I’m glad, but I hope all of you think about my posts and whether or not they make sense instead of accepting my viewpoints because you like my writing. I’ve found out through firsthand experience the problems of suspending my critical thinking and blindly following someone, and I’d hate for any of you to fall into that trap. So thank you for reading my blog and giving me feedback about it, but please always remember, you don’t have to take my word for it. And I hope you don’t. 

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“The Mexican Fisherman”

Posted on August 26, 2018 by admin

This is an excerpt from The 4-Hour Workweek by Tim Ferriss. I’m working toward having an abundance of time freedom and financial freedom in my life, and this short story perfectly captures why I love these ideas and the opportunities they offer. Without further ado, here’s the story.

An American businessman took a vacation to a small coastal Mexican village on doctor’s orders. Unable to sleep after an urgent phone call from the office the first morning, he walked out to the pier to clear his head. A small boat with just one fisherman had docked, and inside the boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish.

“How long did it take you to catch them?” the American asked.

“Only a little while,” the Mexican replied in surprisingly good English.

“Why don’t you stay out longer and catch more fish?” the American then asked.

“I have enough to support my family and give a few to friends,” the Mexican said as he unloaded them into a basket.

“But… What do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican looked up and smiled. “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take a siesta with my wife, Julia, and stroll into the village each evening, where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor.”

The American laughed and stood tall. “Sir, I’m a Harvard M.B.A. and can help you. You should spend more time fishing, and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. In no time, you could buy several boats with the increased haul. Eventually, you would have a fleet of fishing boats.”

He continued, “Instead of selling your catch to a middleman, you would sell directly to the consumers, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village, of course, and move to Mexico City, then to Los Angeles, and eventually to New York City, where you could run your expanded enterprise with proper management.

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, senor, how long will all this take?”

To which the American replied, “15-20 years, 25 tops.”

“But what then, senor?”

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right, you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich. You would make millions.”

“Millions senor? Then what?”

“Then you would retire and move to a small coastal fishing village, where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take a siesta with your wife, and stroll in to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

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