Don’t Rush

Posted on September 27, 2018 by admin

I have a bad habit of rushing through a lot of tasks, especially ones I’d rather avoid. It wasn’t until earlier this year that I realized this was a bad idea and learned to slow down. Here are some things that made me slow down and some things I’ve discovered since then. 

Everyone has a limited amount of time on this Earth. Some have more than others, but once my time is up, that’s it. Every moment is precious and if I’m wishing I could fast forward to a future moment I think I’d enjoy more than the present moment, then I’m wishing away a part of my life that I’ll never get back. Even when that future moment arrives, it may not be as enjoyable as I thought it would be, especially if I’ve built up anticipation and importance in my mind for it. What I’ve tried to do instead is appreciate that I’m alive and get to do things even if they’re not the most exciting or enjoyable things to me. Changing my perspective is more important than changing my situation; if the situation is truly terrible, then I’ll work to change it, but most of the time a different perspective does the trick.

Additionally, the quality of whatever I’m doing suffers when I rush. Whether I’m doing something for the first time or the thousandth time, I always do better when I take my time. Slowing my breathing helps me relax, focus, and make sure I get the job done right. As I get better at a given task, I may be able to spend less time on it and speed up the process compared to when I first started it. However, even with those tasks, I make sure I do them at a pace that keeps the quality high and minimizes the risk of making mistakes. This also helps in situations where I have less time to finish a task since it takes less time to do something right than to mess it up and have to do it two or more times. 

Whenever I catch myself rushing, I remind myself to take a breath and slow down. I don’t always catch myself but I’ve gotten better at it over time. Now it’s much easier for me to accept each moment as it is rather than try to rush through it. This makes me feel like I have more time in the day and also makes me feel free instead of feeling burdened. Further, I think it helps me sleep better at night because I don’t have negative thoughts about the day weighing on my mind. These are some of the benefits I’ve found by slowing down and taking my time, and if you also have a habit of rushing, I highly recommend trying this for yourself. 

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Reflections

Posted on September 26, 2018 by admin

Every year around my birthday, I think about where I was on previous birthdays. Not just the physical location, but also my place in life, including things like my mindset, my finances, and my thoughts about the future. This year, I think it’s safe to say that I’m overall in the best position I’ve ever been in life.

For most of my life, my mindset was negative. I’ve long considered my outlook to be optimistic but looking back I realize how much negativity I had underneath and around the optimism. I would argue at the drop of a hat over just about anything, I said a lot of things I later wished I could take back, and I was far more focused on perceived flaws in others than in my own shortcomings. Focusing on being present, recognizing when my ego is in control of me and grabbing the controls back from it, and learning a lot about how to better get along with people and rescript myself for positivity has done wonders for every area of my life. My interactions and relationships with others have dramatically improved, I do a lot more productive things that put me in increasingly better positions in life, a lot of my shortcomings that I thought would never go away have been significantly reduced, and I’m much better at shifting my thoughts from negative to positive when I start feeling overcome with negativity. That last point can take on many forms, such as refusing to repeatedly condemn myself for past mistakes, noticing progress I’ve made in some area, and in general just being kinder to myself and treating myself like someone I care about. While I’ve made a lot of positive changes in my life, I think the changes to my mindset have been the most important and had the most profound impact. 

Last year, I was in a dead-end job I hated and that paid me terribly. I had picked up a second job the previous month and slowly got a feel for that. Rather than quit right away, I waited until I knew that I liked the other job well enough and would be able to do the work before deciding to leave my main job; even after I made the decision, I asked for minimum hours so I’d still have some extra money coming in and have more time to focus on other things. A few months after that, I gave my notice and prepared to leave. Amazingly, within a week of quitting my previous job, I got an opportunity for a lot more hours at my new job, which I gladly accepted. This job has enabled me to work in a much better environment and do work I like more than my previous job, as well as funded several amazing trips and other fun experiences I’ve had in the past year. Now I’m on the lookout for even better jobs to keep me moving forward while I work toward having multiple streams of income, including someday having my own business. My financial habits are better than they’ve ever been, which means my finances are also better than they’ve ever been. I’m much more careful to avoid needless spending, I save money every time I get paid, and I focus less on material things than any other time in my life I can remember. 

This brings me to my thoughts about the future. With everything I’ve done, learned, and experienced over the past several years, I now have a much clearer picture of an amazing future for the world and how to bring it to life than I ever have before. Vague, amorphous ideas have taken shape and feel solid. Obstacles that once seemed insurmountable now appear trivial. My mind is no longer filled with dread thinking about problems that will likely never manifest. While I’ve read plenty of amazing books and articles and watched many videos that have changed my life for the better, I would not be in this amazing place in life right now if not for the people who have been encouraging, supportive, uplifting, and enjoyable to be around. One of my principals said this quote at my high school graduation that will never leave me:

“Your friends are like elevators. They will either take you up or they will bring you down.”

Surrounding myself with the right people has been instrumental in turning my life around and I am forever grateful to those who have been there and continue to be there for me. In closing, I will say that 2018 has been one of my favorite and best years and I strongly believe that there are many years ahead that will be even better. 

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Classic City Swing 7

Posted on September 25, 2018 by admin

I just got back yesterday from an amazing weekend. The bulk of my time was spent at a swing dance workshop called Classic City Swing 7 in Athens, Georgia. This is only the second weekend workshop I’ve been to so far and it was a blast. Before and after the weekend, I also spent some time in Atlanta visiting friends, which was also wonderful. 

The event started on Friday but I drove up to Atlanta on Thursday to see some friends; I rarely get to see them, so I took advantage of the time I had. We spent most of Thursday and Friday catching up, talking about upcoming plans for the weekend (my dance event and a kids’ birthday party they were throwing), and enjoying the antics of their kids. Additionally, staying up there gave me a much shorter drive the next day to Athens than if I had come up from Jacksonville, Florida that day. When I got back to their place on Sunday night, we briefly touched base before heading to bed and spent a lot of time Monday sharing stories from both our experiences and visiting some more before I left for home late that afternoon. 

While Classic City is called a workshop, it had plenty of non-instructional dances. Friday and Saturday both had a main dance in the evening and a late dance around midnight, and Sunday had a farewell dance in the afternoon (with potluck food for those interested). The main dances featured an incredible live band and an amazing dance floor, which always makes dancing more fun. 

When it came to the lessons, there were four different levels, also called “tracks”, so everyone had a place to call home: beginner, intermediate, intermediate/advanced, and advanced. Those who skipped the optional level placement auditions could pick either beginner or intermediate, while those who went to the auditions had a shot at being placed in intermediate/advanced or advanced; which one depends on how the instructors evaluated their dancing. I went to the auditions and ended up getting intermediate/advanced, which I quite enjoyed. The instructors I had were Peter Strom and Naomi Uyama, Jon Tigert and Jenna Applegarth, and Peter Kertz and Elze Visnevskyte. They taught a lot of stuff I had never done before and some things I kinda know but could use some work. There were optional electives after lunch on Sunday and I decided to take Musicality and How to Practice Alone (taught by Naomi and Jenna, respectively). With all the instructors and all the classes, I enjoyed learning, dancing, and having fun with everyone. 

I stayed at my first ever Airbnb during Classic City, which was another adventure in itself. Some involve staying with whoever normally lives there but we had this one all to ourselves for the weekend; I did get to see and briefly talk to the owners right before I left, but other than that they stayed away. It was a nice, cozy house with plenty of room for everyone to have fun and rest up (plus we somehow made it work with nine people and only one shower). We spent a lot of time visiting and joking around after the late dances and even threw a surprise birthday party for two friends before the main dance on Saturday evening. I enjoyed the sense of home it offered and, given the chance to stay there again, I would in a heartbeat. 

I’m at a point in my life where I’d rather have a heart full of memories than a shelf full of trinkets, and this weekend gave me plenty of wonderful memories I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. I never would have seen myself doing something like this a year ago, but I’m so glad I did. Swing dancing has given me so much and what I enjoy the most about it are the opportunities it offers to spend time with dear friends, both new and old. If you don’t have something like this in your life, I highly encourage you to find something that gives you endless hours of joy and connection with loved ones. That’s exactly what swing dancing does for me and I’m so glad I found it. 

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Review of How to Win Friends and Influence People

Posted on September 24, 2018 by admin

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie is an amazing book. I’ve adored it ever since first read it after getting it for Christmas in 2016. Carnegie first published this book in 1936 and it has absolutely stood the test of time.

The book was published decades before subjects like communication and persuasion were nailed down by science, yet Carnegie still got a lot of things right. He says a great deal about talking to people about things they enjoy, truly listening when someone else is talking, using their name whenever possible, and pointing out areas of agreement before moving to areas of disagreement. These techniques are used all the time by master communicators and they work wonders for helping shy people open up.

I’ve read the book four times now (taking Carnegie’s advice to read each chapter twice) and it has taught me a lot of useful information about communication and interaction with other people. As a natural introvert, I’ve struggled with interacting with others for most of my life. Carnegie’s advice has dramatically increased my confidence, reduced my awkwardness, and helped me truly connect with other people in meaningful conversations.

This was the first self-help book I ever read and it’s a great one to start out with. I highly recommend checking it out. Even if it’s the only one you read, you’ll be much better off for having read it. If you’re more reserved like I can still be at times, it’ll give you a lot of useful tools for conversations, meeting new people, and handling difficult people. If you’re more outgoing, it’ll give you some great things to think about and may still offer you some new perspectives. Either way, How to Win Friends and Influence People is a classic book that has improved the lives of countless people and is well worth a read.

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How to Stop “Fuming and Fretting” from The Power of Positive Thinking

Posted on September 23, 2018 by admin

The following is an excerpt from The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale that offers advice to stop “fuming and fretting” calm the mind, and achieve inner peace. I find his advice to be very useful and I hope you do as well:

  1. Sit relaxed in a chair. Completely yield yourself to the chair. Starting with the toes and proceeding to the top of your head, conceive of every portion of the body as relaxing. Affirm relaxation by saying, “My toes are relaxed – my fingers – my facial muscles.”
  2. Think of your mind as the surface of a lake in a storm, tossed by waves and in tumult. But now the waves subside, and the surface of the lake is placid and unruffled.
  3. Spend two or three minutes thinking of the most beautiful and peaceful scenes you have ever beheld, as, for example, a mountain at sunset, or a deep valley filled with the hush of early morning, or a woods at noonday, or moonlight upon rippling waters. In memory relive these scenes. 
  4. Repeat slowly, quietly, bringing out the melody in each, a series of words which express quietness and peace, as, for example, (a) tranquility (say it very deliberately and in a tranquil manner); (b) serenity; (c) quietness. Think of other such words and repeat them.
  5. Make a mental list of times in your life when you have been conscious of God’s watchful care and recall how, when you were worried and anxious, He brought things out right and took care of you. Then recite aloud this line from an old hymn, “So long Thy power hath kept me, sure it STILL will lead me on.”
  6. Repeat the following, which has an amazing power to relax and quiet the mind: “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee” (Isaiah 26:3). Repeat this several times during the day, whenever you have a fraction of a moment. Repeat it aloud if possible, so that by the end of the day you will have said it many times. Conceive of these words as active, vital substances permeating your mind, sending into every area of your thinking a healing balm. This is the best-known medicine for taking tension from the mind. 
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Take a Page from Batman

Posted on September 22, 2018 by admin

Batman is known for his amazing preparation skills. He researches his enemies (as well as his allies) to find their weaknesses and figure out how to defeat them should the need arise. There seems to be almost no situation for which he can’t properly prepare as long as he has enough prep time. While Batman stands head and shoulders above me when it comes to preparation, I have gotten pretty good at it over time and I’d like to pass on what I do.

My general thinking about preparation stems from something I’ve heard numerous times, which is that it’s better to have something and not need it than need it and not have it. I can think of many situations in which I have been under-prepared but I can’t think of any situation in which I have been over-prepared, at least to the point of it becoming a problem. I’ve gotten better at preparation over time and now I typically have everything I need and most everything I want wherever I go.

Whenever I prepare for a trip where I’ll be gone for at least a few days, I mentally walk through my daily routines and think about what I need to carry them out. I visualize myself doing everyday activities (brushing my teeth, showering, changing my clothes, etc) and make a note of what I’m using for each of those activities so I make sure to bring them with me. Additionally, I keep a generic packing list on my flash drive. The list works for the majority of my trips and I can easily edit it for specific trips if necessary. This way I avoid having to remember everything I want to pack every time. For day trips or trips to my usual places around town such as work and swing dancing, I do essentially the same thing, except for extensive packing and making use of a packing list. 

Whether I’m preparing for a long trip or a short trip, I also typically think about things that would be nice to have, either because they’re useful or because they’re fun. It’s nice to be prepared for sudden changes in the weather, spontaneous trips to the beach when I don’t have time to go home first, and opportunities to surprise and delight my friends by having things that they didn’t expect (although some of them have come to expect this from me). 

Preparation involves more than just what I take with me. A big part of preparing for trips is making sure the transportation and lodging are in order. As I write this, I just finished airing up my tires for a big road trip and before the night is over, I’ll top off my gas tank; doing these things tonight means I can leave earlier tomorrow and get off to a smooth start. Additionally, I’ll be staying with friends in a couple of different places during this upcoming trip, both of which were arranged well in advance. I enjoy surprises but not when it involves vehicle problems or trying to find a place to stay last-minute. By thinking ahead and starting to prepare early, I can minimize my chances of running into problems and maximize my chances of having a smooth, enjoyable trip. Maybe someday I’ll be on Batman’s level when it comes to preparation, but where I’m at now works pretty well for me. 

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Rescripting

Posted on September 21, 2018 by admin

In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey talks about a concept he calls “rescripting”. The following paragraph from the book offers a brief explanation of what he means by that. 

“Through imagination, we can visualize the uncreated worlds of potential that lie within us. Through conscience, we can come in contact with universal laws or principles with our own singular talents and avenues of contribution, and with the personal guidelines within which we can most effectively develop them. Combined with self-awareness, these two endowments empower us to write our own script.” 

This is one of the most memorable parts of the book to me for several reasons. The first has to do with serendipity. I had read a number of books before this one that suggested the existence of natural laws without using those specific words. This is a bit different than what many people mean by “natural laws”; most people I’ve seen use that term are referring to the idea of an objective morality. The idea I had of natural laws was closer to the laws of physics. If I am familiar with the laws of physics, I know the limits to what is possible and I also have useful knowledge on how to best act within those limits. Similarly, by following natural laws, I can live in harmony with myself and with those around me, while failing to follow the laws creates strife and conflict.

I didn’t know much about The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when I started reading it and I definitely wasn’t expecting Covey to identify natural laws by name (he refers to them as “universal” in the above passage and “natural” elsewhere in the book) exactly as I had thought about them, even down to comparing them to the laws of physics. Whenever I experience serendipity, I make sure to pay attention to whatever lesson follows from it as there is always something to be learned from these experiences. The serendipitous passages from the book grabbed my attention and prepared me to receive Covey’s lessons.

The other reason passages like that stand out so much to me is because they discuss self-improvement. There’s been a conflict in my mind for most of my life between the way I act and the person I want to be, with the two being at odds most of the time. The time I’ve spent during the past few years researching and practicing self-improvement techniques has greatly helped me act more like the person I want to be and reduced the conflict within myself. Covey’s points about imagining the potential within myself, studying natural laws and principles so I can be more effective, and having the self-awareness to reflect on and change my behavior have been some of the most useful self-improvement techniques I’ve come across. 

Rescripting myself is something I’ve been working on for a few years now. I’m still working on becoming the person I want to be but every day I’m getting a little closer. Learning from people who came before me and discovered lots of useful life hacks has helped me a lot with self-improvement, and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People contain some of the most useful life hacks I’ve found thus far. I love passing on information that’s helped me; if this is helpful to you, please let me know.

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Stuck

Posted on September 20, 2018 by admin

Do you ever feel stuck? Like you know where you want to go and what you want to do when you get there, but try as you might, you keep spinning your wheels and staying put? There may be a visible obstacle in your way that you just can’t seem to overcome, or maybe the path appears clear and you could almost reach out and touch your goal, but it’s just out of reach and you remain stuck.

To avoid sinking into depression, you might count your blessings and remind yourself that it could be worse. That works for a while, but then nothing changes and it gradually becomes more difficult to find the silver lining. It becomes harder to convince yourself that things will start looking up and someday you’ll no longer be stuck. This is when despair becomes almost impossible to avoid. 

At some point, whatever was holding you back vanishes and you can finally move forward. Maybe you were holding yourself back without realizing it, maybe you still had something to learn before you could move on, maybe you looked at what other people did to move forward in life, or maybe someone who was working against you gave up. Whatever the reason, now you’re free. Now you can race forward at full speed, bound only by the limitations you set for yourself. Now you have the power to make your life into whatever you want it to be. Now you’re no longer stuck.

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Review of The Power of Now

Posted on September 19, 2018 by admin

Mindfulness is a subject I rarely ever heard anything about until last year. Before then, I never paid much attention to the constant stream of thoughts running through my head. Sometimes I would notice it if I got stuck thinking negative thoughts, but I was so used to it that it just seemed like background noise to me. That all changed when I found out about The Power of Now.

In the book, Eckhart Tolle talks about the usefulness of the mind for its intended purpose (survival and problem solving) as well as how most people become stuck in their minds, unable to stop thinking. He offers a lot of useful tips for quieting the mind and entering a state of consciousness in which thoughts are absent. It took a long time and a lot of practice, but eventually I was able to enter this state of presence and remain there for extended periods of time. Whenever I do this, I experience a deep sense of peace and stillness that makes whatever I’m doing easier to manage, whether it’s an unpleasant task at a work, traffic, an emotional person, or some other activity likely to cause stress.

I first got the audiobook version last year and I’ve probably listened to it at least a dozen times since then. This year I got the print version to compare the two (they are verbatim, at least for most of the book) and also loan out to interested friends. The Power of Now has been one of the most profound as well as useful books I’ve read, and I think the world would become a much more peaceful place if its message catches on. I hope it does. 

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Tribute to Walt Disney

Posted on September 18, 2018 by admin
Walt Disney circa early 1960s
Walt Disney in his later years

There are a handful of people who have inspired me more than anyone else. Walt Disney is close to the top of my list, and this post will explain why.

Disney was born into a poor family in Missouri and started drawing at a young age. After apprenticing for one art studio and working for another, he and his friend Ub Iwerks started their own company. A few years later, he moved to California and started Disney Brothers Studios with his brother, Roy (who later changed the company name to Walt Disney Studios). While partnering with Universal Studios, Disney had a falling-out with the company in which he lost his animators and most popular animated character. Rather than giving up, he persevered and ended up creating his most famous character, Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse cartoons helped Disney get back on his feet and gradually move on to larger projects; one of these projects was Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, which was Disney’s first animated film and the first feature-length animated film ever made.

While he didn’t create the first amusement park, Disney was inspired to make his own after taking his daughters to several that were of poor quality and didn’t offer much for families to do together. He couldn’t get approval from his company for such a large and expensive venture, so he started another one and agreed to make a few television shows for ABC in exchange for help financing the park. Despite starting off with enormous technical and mechanic problems that took months to fix, Disneyland eventually became a popular vacation spot for millions of families every year. 

Always dreaming bigger, Disney planned to create a place in Florida called EPCOT. While there is a theme park with the same name, his original vision was quite different than the current park. EPCOT would have contained a theme park similar to Disneyland, but that would only be one small part of the project. Disney envisioned an entire planned community where people would live, work, shop, and play. Although he began acquiring the enormous amount of land he needed for such a massive undertaking, years of heavy smoking finally caught up to him and resulted in his death from lung cancer in 1966. Since Disney World didn’t open until 1971 (not to mention the many additions that were added in the following decades), Disney never got to see his greatest dream come to life. 

Who would have thought that a man with humble origins would be the driving force behind a successful cartoon studio, movie company, assortment of theme parks and resorts, and numerous innovations in these fields (some of which include audio animatronics and the multiplane camera)? Yet Disney accomplished all that and more in his life. He wasn’t afraid to dream bigger than what was possible at any given moment, and he never gave up on his dreams, choosing instead to aim ever higher as he went on. If he wanted to do something nobody had ever done before, he did his best to find a way to do it, and he always tried to improve things he was already doing. In good times and bad times alike, Disney kept moving forward and changed the world in the process. I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately as I’m in the process of pursuing some big dreams of my own, and seeing how much he accomplished is invaluable. He showed that dreams can come true if you keep pursuing them, and that’s why Walt Disney is one of the people I most admire and from whom I draw the most inspiration. 

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