Why I Love Cold Showers

Posted on January 5, 2019 by admin

I’ve mentioned that I recently started taking cold showers in a few previous posts, but I haven’t talked much about them. Now that I’ve been taking them for a few weeks, I’ve noticed some things that I’d like to talk about. Maybe I can even persuade you to give them a try by the end of this post.

I started by getting used to showering without using a heater in the bathroom and embracing the slow progression away from pure comfort. Then I would take my usual warm showers and turn the temperature down to cool for about a minute at the very end. Over time, I gradually increased the amount of time I spent under the cool water in addition to steadily decreasing the temperature. Eventually, I got to where I could skip the warm water altogether and start off with cool water, finishing with the coldest water I could get without losing water pressure. These last few steps took a lot of time and mental preparation before I could take them, but I was glad when I finally got to that point. Now my showers start off cool and end cold, and I like it that way.

Since I started taking cold showers, I’ve noticed a few positive changes in my life. The first one is that I don’t get cold nearly as much or as easily as I did before. I’m a lifelong Floridian who prefers cooler weather and feels hot most of the time but have always had a strange relationship with the cold, as evidenced by my past use of a heater during warm showers. I also used to wake up feeling freezing cold during the winter even though Florida winters are nothing compared to winters in many other places. As I’ve gotten used to taking cold showers, however, those things have started to change. I don’t think I’ve been cold as often or to the same degree (no pun intended) in the morning as I was in the past. It’s become easier to warm myself up without putting on extra clothes or moving around a lot. I don’t know if cold showers will give me any advantage when I go to places that get extremely cold, but they’ve definitely helped me handle the cold times in my neck of the woods.

Another change, and one I appreciate a lot more, is how cold showers have affected my mindset. When I first step into the shower and get hit with the cool water, my first instinct is to think “That’s cold!” and back away. Instead of doing that, I remind myself to breathe and then focus on taking slow, deep breaths as I get used to the water. While I do this, my head is almost completely empty. Focusing on my breath makes me very aware of it as well as my body and leaves almost no room for thought. This helps me adapt to the cold and puts me into a relaxed state in which I forget about what I did that morning or what I will do later in the day, as well as anything that might be stressing me out. When I get used to the water, I shower normally and then go back to focusing on my breath and getting out of my head during the final minute of standing under the coldest water I can get. After that, I turn off the water and open the shower curtain before I dry myself off, continuing to abide in that mindful state for the next few minutes as I get dressed. I’ve noticed that when I start feeling stressed later on, I can think back to that cold shower and remember what it felt like underneath the water. Doing so makes me automatically focus on slowing and controlling my breath, which helps me relax and avoid the stress. As you can imagine, this comes in handy in a variety of situations and has made a major positive difference for me.

I’m glad I started taking cold showers and worked through the initial discomfort that came with them. They help me better manage the cold, relax and avoid overthinking or getting stressed, and make me feel refreshed and full of life. I think they’ve also prevented my skin from drying out as much as it usually does in winter and made me feel less congested. Although I tried cold showers years ago, I never went all the way with them as I do now or stuck with them for very long; I don’t see myself going back to hot showers at this point. I’ve gotten a lot of benefits from sticking with cold showers and I’m excited to see what else they do for me. If any of this sounds interesting to you, then I recommend you give them a try. Please let me know if you do try them and what benefits or change you see from making the switch. Thank you and I’ll see you in the next post.

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Beware of Echo Chambers

Posted on January 4, 2019 by admin

The internet has made it easier than ever before to interact with other people. Most people have many friends in their social media circles who think like them, and some go as far as having nothing but those kinds of people as online friends. Even those who have friends with different perspectives can still occasionally wind up in echo chambers for days at a time, and maybe even longer. While this can be useful for certain things, it can also cause major problems. This post will examine some of those problems and offer solutions for them.

Those who spend excessive amounts of time in echo chambers tend to suffer in the long run. They’ll learn a lot about the arguments in favor of whatever ideas are being discussed in the echo chamber, but they’re much less likely to hear arguments against them. And by being around so many people who agree with them, they can forget what it’s like to be around people who disagree with them. Both of these will tend to make people who spend too much time in echo chambers less able to relate to those outside the echo chambers as well as less likely to critically examine their own views (and thereby less likely to find flaws in their reasoning, improve their arguments, or abandon some old ideas in favor of new ones). If they’re not careful, this can also cause them to see people who disagree with them as their enemy, which I think plays a large role in the hostile exchanges frequently seen online.

So what can be done about this? If the problem is being unable to relate to people who think differently, then the first step is to spend more time around them. Get to know them by doing things you both enjoy and just talking to them. You’ll realize that, just like you, they have hopes, fears, dreams, and struggles. Learning about them and what they value will reveal many similarities between the two of you and give you a lot to talk about with them; you may even become friends after doing this for a while.

Something that may help with this is becoming familiar with major influences in someone’s life. For example, if a few specific people have greatly shaped their thinking, look into those people and their works. Learn about what they stood for and why, then come back and have a real conversation about what you’ve found. The person you’re talking to will appreciate your taking the time to do that, and they will also probably become more receptive to hearing about your ideas.

It’s natural to want to spend time around like-minded people, but spending too much time in echo chambers can be problematic. Taking the time to learn many different perspectives by talking to lots of people about a wide range of ideas (as well as researching those ideas and perspectives on your own time) and getting to know the people you’re talking to will prevent many of the above problems from ever occurring and they’ll undo a lot of harm caused by problems that have already occurred. Everyone has a lot of ideas, and, while some ideas are better than others, there is much to be gained by listening to someone else’s ideas. To close, regardless of whether or not we ever agree on some of our ideas, as long as we’re working regularly at something that’s making a positive difference in the world, that’s worth celebrating.

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Always Do Your Best

Posted on January 3, 2019 by admin

The final agreement Don Miguel Ruiz covers in The Four Agreements is “Always Do Your Best”. Like the other agreements, this is one I try to follow even though I don’t always succeed, but an occasional reminder helps get me back on track. Ruiz includes a lot of great reasons as to why we should do our best in that chapter of the book, which makes it easier to put his ideas into action.

After stating that always doing your best will help make the other agreements into habits, Ruiz points out that your best will vary from one moment to another. Your best on a rough day may be equivalent to your worst on an easy day, but you’re on the right track as long as you do your best in every activity. That way, you’ll know you did all you could and won’t feel guilty for doing less than your best or get upset if something doesn’t work out as you’d hoped it would.

And all you have to do is your best. Ruiz warns against trying to do way more than that because you’ll wear yourself out, won’t enjoy your time, and will probably take longer to accomplish your project. You may still get tired from doing your best, but, unlike trying to go over and above, you won’t become resentful of what you’re doing and get depleted as if you were pouring from an empty cup.

I find it easy to do my best with activities I enjoy. I have a strong desire to get better at my hobbies, interests, and passions, so it’s easy for me to do my best with them and work on them regularly. When it comes to things I don’t want to do, however, that’s where I struggle. Fortunately, I’ve found a life hack that helps me get into the mindset to do my best in those activities as well. And, as Ruiz says, I always have a good feeling of satisfaction at the end of a job well done. I often think about this at work and remind myself of how good I’ll feel when I’m finished; this also helps me find enjoyment as I’m doing the work, which I think is critical. I periodically return to this agreement when I feel distraught and don’t want to do much, and it always gives me exactly what I need. “Always Do Your Best” is a great final agreement in this wonderful book and it makes the other ones possible, making it perhaps the most important of them all.

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Go Easy on Yourself

Posted on January 2, 2019 by admin

Some people are very hard on themselves. They’ll heavily reprimand themselves for the slightest mistake and show themselves little to no compassion or understanding. This can be most easily seen when they’re trying to learn something new or do self-improvement work.

If you’re like most people, then chances are that you’ve had the habits and behaviors you’re working to change for as long as you can remember. Your friends, family members, coworkers, and other people close to you probably created environments that caused you to adopt those tendencies in the first place or make it easy for you to continue them in the present, or maybe both. It takes a great deal of time and focus to change habits, so please, give yourself a break. You may need years of consistent, dedicated effort to undo behavior patterns that have been ingrained and continually reinforced for decades.

When it comes to learning something new, mistakes are inevitable. There can be even more mistakes if you’re learning another method of doing a familiar activity that you’ve gotten used to doing in a specific way. After a while of practicing the new method, it’ll become much easier to use it instead of the old method; eventually, it’ll be second nature for you to use the new method. In the meantime, be kind to yourself, remind yourself that you’re doing your best, and keep in mind that you’ll get there in time.

It’s taken me a long time to learn this stuff and apply it to my life. I’m thankful for a close friend who has consistently supported me, pointed out my strengths, and pleaded with me to give myself a break. Gentle guidance works better than stern correction whenever I teach someone a skill (such as juggling, for instance) or help them when they’re struggling, so it makes sense that this would also be the case when I apply it to myself. This has made it easier for me to show love to myself and treat myself like someone I care about; this, in turn, has made it easier to show love to other people. I find I can love and support other people more effectively since I started taking care of myself; it feels more genuine, consistent, and abundant in my own life, so out of that abundance comes plenty for others. I hope something in here spoke to you and gave you something practical that you can use to improve your life. Take care and I’ll see you in the next post.

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5 Books That Will Help You Succeed This Year

Posted on January 1, 2019 by admin

Happy New Year! I hope you all had fun and safe celebrations last night. Since we’ve officially enter 2019 now, I thought I would dedicate my first post of the year to a subject I’ve talked about quite a bit in this blog: books. In this case, I’m going to focus on the 5 books that I think gave me what I needed to make 2018 the best year of my life. These books helped me, among other things, improve my communication, make better use of my time, improve my mindsets, have inner peace, and take control of my habits. I have no doubt that they’ll help you tremendously with whatever you want to do this year, so I highly encourage you to check them out if you haven’t already. Without further ado, here they are.

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

This book contains so much good stuff. Of all the books on this list, this one covers the most ground and comes the closest to being a how-to guide for life. Stephen Covey absolutely knocked it out of the park with this one, especially since he included a quick-reference index near the end of the book so you can quickly and easily find anything you’re looking for. Any one of these habits can improve your life and adopting all of them can take you to the next level. This year, if you only read one of the books I’ve mentioned at some point, consider choosing this one.

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The Power of Habit

Another book about habits, this one explains why we develop habits, how we can change them, and how even seemingly insignificant changes can lead to huge improvements. If you have some New Year’s resolutions, this book can help you stick with them and make them part of your regular routine. It’s full of interesting stories and simple explanations of some complex processes, which makes it an intriguing and valuable read from beginning to end.

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The Four Agreements

Having the proper perspective in life is incredibly freeing. This book talks about different mindsets: some trap us in despair while others offer us the freedom to live our best lives. It’s much easier to change how you react in any given situation than it is to change how other people act. There’s a lot of stuff in this book that shows you how to do this and paints a picture of the life you can have by following the four agreements.

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The Power of Now

Can you be free of thought if you want? Do you have the ability to control your thinking? If not, this book will show you how to do so. Mindfulness and presence have done me a world of good since I started practicing them. In this book, Eckhart Tolle explores the mind, consciousness, ego, suffering, death, the present moment, and several other subjects in this fascinating book. This is one of the most helpful books I’ve ever read. If you’re looking for ways to relieve stress, increase your focus, and live in the present moment, this is the book for you.

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The 5 Love Languages

Gary Chapman explores different ways to show and receive love in this great little book. Family members, friends, married couples, and virtually everyone else can benefit from learning how other people feel loved and showing them love in that way. Several of the stories in the book demonstrate that there’s no need to wait for someone else to change; one person taking the initiative to communicate in the other’s love language on a regular basis can be the starting point for turning a broken relationship into a thriving one. Good communication is essential for properly interacting with others and this book contains a lot of wisdom in that area.

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Reflections: My Favorite Things from 2018

Posted on December 31, 2018 by admin

It’s safe to say that 2018 was the best year of my life. So many amazing and wonderful things happened from beginning to end. Like every year, there were also challenges, but I was able to handle them much better this year than I handled much smaller challenges in previous years. This year has felt long to me in the best way; I feel like I’ve had much more than 365 days at this point to learn, grow, practice, and explore. It’s going to be hard to let this year go but I take comfort in knowing that I can continue all the amazing things that I started this year, make future years even better, and look back on the good times from this year whenever I like. There are several awesome moments that stand out when I think back on everything I did, so I’d like to share with you my favorite things from this incredible year.

  1. Growing a lot as a person. This is only the second year that I’ve seriously focused on personal growth, and I did much more self-improvement work this year than I did last year. They say knowing is half the battle, which is true, but it’s action that gets results. I’ve spent a lot of time this year working on applying what I know wherever I can: taking care of my body, nourishing my soul, feeding my brain, working through my emotions, developing better habits and breaking old ones, improving my communication and interactions with other people, etc. I’m in a much better place overall now than I’ve ever been or ever thought I’d be, and I’m just getting started. I can’t wait to see where I’ll go as I continue working on this stuff and getting better one step at a time.
  2. Reading and learning so much new and useful stuff. I’ve probably read more books this year than in any other year. Except for my annual reading of How to Win Friends and Influence People, every book I read was one that I either started at some point in the past but never finished or had never read before this year. Most of the books I’ve read this year, several of which are among my all-time favorite books, have been practical, self-improvement books with lessons that have vastly improved the quality of my life since I started putting them into practice. I’ve also read a few books that just looked interesting and gave me an enjoyable evening even if they didn’t give me any useful life hacks. Reading so many great, insightful books has given me a better understanding of myself, other people, and the world in which we live; I can see connections between things that I never noticed before and navigate each day more smoothly and easily than I could before. I’ve still got a few dozen books on my shelf to read and I have more on my list to get as I work through those, so I’ll be reading and learning for the rest of my life.
  3. Going on an amazing day trip. This was the most enjoyable day trip I’ve ever been on. I went with a group of friends to Interlachen, Florida to pick blueberries in the morning. After that, we stopped off in Palatka for a nice lunch. We finished by walking around St. Augustine, exploring some of the many cool sights there, and doing a bit of dancing. That whole day was relaxing, laid back, and full of one pleasant experience after another. I couldn’t have asked for a nicer day.
  4. Successfully organizing several fun events. Though I’ve organized events in the past, this was by far my most ambitious year for event planning. I successfully planned and carried out 5 events this year: a beach trip toward the end of summer, a watch party for the movie Airplane!, an escape room, an afternoon of juggling in the park on World Juggling Day, and a Secret Santa gift exchange. I was the primary organizer for each of those events, but they would have fallen flat without everyone who went to them. I think more people are interested in going to events than they are in planning them, so I’m glad I took the initiative and got the ball rolling on them. They each made for some fun times and great memories that I’ll treasure for years, and they were great practice for some bigger, more ambitious events and projects that I plan to bring to fruition in my life.
  5. Going on the Classic City Swing trip. By far the best, smoothest trip I’ve ever been on. I loved going to Classic City Swing 7, swing dancing, learning some cool new things, enjoying 6 days off of work, and spending time with friends both in Athens and in Atlanta. I couldn’t have asked for a better vacation and I’m so glad I decided to go.
  6. Using Duolingo for over 300 days to learn Spanish. This is the longest stretch of time that I’ve consistently worked on learning another language. I’m far from fluent in Spanish, but I’m more comfortable with the language now than I’ve ever been before. Working with Duolingo has given me a solid foundation that I’m sure will prove useful as I continue practicing and steadily improving.
  7. Starting and sticking to my blog. It’s hard to believe that I’ve only been doing this since midway through August and I’m amazed that I’ve been able to put up a new post every day. This has been an incredible journey thus far for several reasons. In addition to the great feedback I get about the blog from people I know in real life, I think it’s made me a better, more creative writer. Having to constantly think up and write out new ideas has definitely improved my writing process and speed and streamlined my thinking. I think it’s improved the quality of my writing as well. Additionally, I love sharing my ideas with other people and seeing the things that others have been thinking but never mentioned to me until they read about them on my blog. Starting my blog was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made and I’m going to keep it going as long as I can.
  8. Enjoying a wonderful Christmas. Christmas is the biggest holiday of the year that I celebrate and this was the best in recent memory. I loved getting to spend a day resting, spending time with family, and trying out my new stuff. And, since it fell on a Tuesday this year and I have Wednesdays off, I got to have an extra day of rest after the big day itself. It’s rare for me to get two days off in a row, so this was a special treat. I can’t remember ever having a bad Christmas but I also can’t remember having one that went as smoothly as this one. It gave me a great bit of time to rest and reset toward the end of this incredible year.
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Zoom Out

Posted on December 30, 2018 by admin

Sometimes my thoughts are overwhelming, especially when they’re negative. The unceasing torrent of thought can surround me and make me feel like I’m drowning. This doesn’t happen all the time or even as much as it used to, but it still happens every so often. In situations of overwhelming thought, it’s easy for me to get stuck on a particular thought or a particular kind of thought. Maybe I’ll keep replaying a painful moment or a series of painful moments. The negativity builds upon itself and causes increasingly greater suffering in the process. When this happens, I find it helpful to zoom out.

Instead of remaining fixated on one moment, I’ll take a look at the bigger picture: what I’m doing with the rest of my week, something that’s going on in another part of the world, my life plans, etc. That reminds me that this moment is only one of many in my life and that it, like all the others, will pass; instead of remaining my sole focus, it becomes just one of a number of things that I can think about if I want to. I can then look at whatever is causing me grief and see it with a greater sense of perspective. Even just a bit of distance can take me from feeling overwhelmed to feeling at ease.

I find it helpful to remind myself that I’ve made it through every stressful moment of my life and then use life hacks to make the present moment less stressful. This could involve, among a number of things, remembering a joyful occasion, thinking of something that makes me laugh, using loving-kindness to wish happiness on someone else, controlling my breathing, relaxing my body, or doing a physical activity that I enjoy. Giving myself some distance from my stressful thoughts allows me to go back to them and work through them more effectively than trying to stop them outright. I’ve found that gives me a much better chance of actually being able to quiet my mind and achieve inner peace instead of just temporarily burying the stress by distracting myself with other thoughts. I hope this gives you a useful tool for when you feel overwhelmed by your thoughts. Please let me know if it helps you and, as always, I’ll keep sharing stuff that helps me as I come across it.

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Communication Rhythms

Posted on December 29, 2018 by admin

There are different rhythms within communication. Some people tend toward rhythms involving big groups where everyone jumps in and out of quick, energetic conversations; others prefer slower, more relaxed exchanges with fewer people. There are some people who can easily move between the two, but most that I’ve seen lean toward one or the other. If someone strongly prefers one type of environment but ends up in the other, they will probably feel uncomfortable and out of place until they leave. For example, a reserved person in a highly active setting will likely feel overwhelmed and retreat inward. They may like the people they’re around and have interest in the subjects being brought up, but the sheer number people around them, uncertainty about when to jump in, and fear of looking bad if what they say gets a poor reaction (or, worse, no reaction) prevents them from relaxing and joining in the fun. They’d have a much better time discussing the same subjects in a much smaller group, especially if that group consists of other people who are also reserved.

This holds for everyone, regardless of their preferences for group interactions. Their preferences align with their own rhythms of how they think and communicate, and they tend to seek out others with similar rhythms. As a result, they grow closer to those people and can quickly become friends with them. They can still enjoy the company of people who have different rhythms and even be friends with them, but they will usually prefer being around those who share their rhythms.

As you may have guessed, I am generally more reserved around other people. I can be quite outgoing in certain situations: at my job, when I’m performing, and when I’m with people I know very well and around whom I’m comfortable. But overall, I’m usually on the quieter side and tend to do more listening than talking. When I do say something, whether it’s a joke or something serious, I try to make my words count instead of just speaking for the sake of speaking. Those are the reasons that I prefer small groups over big groups and why I tend to avoid situations that have big groups consisting mostly or entirely of people I don’t know. Now that I’ve talked about my communication rhythms, I’m interested to hear about yours. Do you prefer small groups or big groups, or can you be content in either one? Thanks for reading and commenting and I’ll see you in the next post.

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My Nighttime Routine

Posted on December 28, 2018 by admin

Something I’ve done this year that I think has made a big positive difference for me is develop a good nighttime routine. Like a lot of other things I’ve done, I’ve assembled this routine gradually and without much initial conscious effort, so it’s taken me some time to notice it and deconstruct it. Now that I have, I thought I’d share it with you and see if you find value in it. Without further ado, here’s my nighttime routine.

I avoid eating a lot of sugar or caffeine or drink much of any liquid a few hours before bed, and I typically have my last meal well before I call it a night. When I’m ready to start winding down, I sit in my zero gravity chair, lean back, and read a chapter or two of a book. That helps relax me and put me in the mindset to go to sleep. Then I might stretch my legs for a few minutes before I finish up my pre-bed routine of taking out my contacts (or taking off my glasses, depending on the night), brushing my teeth, and using the bathroom one last time. After that, I’ll lay in bed with my lights off and fan on as I spend a bit of time on my Kindle; I turn on the blue shade setting, which prevents blue electronic light from getting into my face and helps me sleep better. I try to avoid things that make me angry or sad and instead focus on things I like, especially things that I find funny, uplifting, or relaxing.

Once I start feeling sufficiently tired, I put my Kindle away and sit on the edge of my bed as I breathe deeply and slowly for thirty seconds or so. I’ll use this time to expel any negative energy I notice so that I’m not dwelling on it as I try to sleep. Because I do a lot during the day to expel or work through negativity, I usually don’t have much to deal with at bedtime. Then I lie down and begin relaxing my body, starting from my toes and working up to my head, making sure to release any tension I feel as I go. Before I know it, I find myself in a dream or waking up hours later. Even though I often wake up briefly a few times during the night, more often than not, I still feel good in the morning.

Since I developed this routine, I’ve found it consistently helps me fall asleep easily and relatively quickly and wake up feeling refreshed in the morning (as long as I get seven or more hours of sleep, that is). This is a wonderful change of pace from before, when I didn’t know if I’d go to sleep easily or spend upwards of an hour wide awake. I’ve also noticed that my mind is much quieter at night now than it was before I developed this routine. This makes it easier to go to sleep since I’m not thinking about everything under the sun and gives me more pleasant, peaceful dreams. I’m fortunate to not have insomnia, sleep apnea, or any other issues that can make it almost impossible to get a good night’s sleep, so I don’t know how effective this routine would be for someone with those issues. But it works well for me, a guy with a highly active mind, energetic body, and near-constant desire to be doing something. I hope something in this routine can help you too. Sweet dreams, friends.

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Fun with Anti-Logic

Posted on December 27, 2018 by admin

Most of the people I see on a regular basis are either nice or at the very least pleasant/unassuming. It’s pretty rare in my work, my dancing, or anywhere else in my usual routines that I run across an ornery person. When I do meet someone like that, I’m unprepared for what they say and do, which makes it easy for them to walk all over me.

I started thinking about this stuff after a recent encounter with a customer at my job. He stopped me to talk about picking up an appliance he’d just bought, I asked a clarifying question, and that’s when everything went off the rails. He became very aggressive, wouldn’t let me finish a sentence, and didn’t listen to my attempts to explain what I meant. Once I realized that it would be a waste of time to continue trying to reason with him, I told him he could take it out himself if he wanted (which is what he asked to do initially) and then went back to the customer I was helping before he stopped me. The customer I was initially helping spoke up on my behalf during that ordeal, which I greatly appreciated; another customer who also witnessed it offered me some supportive words later on. Their efforts helped me get through that onslaught of negativity.

Of all the customers I’ve been around at each of my jobs, this guy was by far the rudest and least reasonable. I didn’t see this coming at all and I had no plan in mind for dealing with someone like him. My normal strategy of remaining calm and explaining myself in the hopes that doing so would defuse the situation failed, and for a long time after, I blamed myself for what happened. It took a lot of life hacks focused around breathing, relaxing, and reframing myself, as well as a good amount of time after the situation, to get me into a state of mind to think about this more clearly. When I got to that state of mind, I realized that he probably would have acted aggressively regardless of what I said, and that I gave him no cause to get upset; for whatever reason, he chose to react that way. That made it easier to avoid taking his reaction personally and helped me move onto formulating a plan in case something like this happens again.

Since I’m so used to being around nice people who share several of my interests, I’ve forgotten that we humans are irrational and respond poorly to reason and logic. This explains why my efforts to employ those in that situation failed. That lead me to this thought: if logic doesn’t work, why not try anti-logic? By that, I don’t mean reverse psychology wherein I ask someone to do the opposite of what I want them to do in the hopes that that will nudge them in my desired direction. I mean throw logic completely out the window and just be weird. This should be easy for me as a weird guy who grew up watching a lot of classic Looney Tunes shorts and who draws a lot of comedic inspiration from Bugs Bunny, the Marx Brothers, and Buster Keaton. Employing this strategy against an angry person trying to argue with me would probably throw them off and leave them unsure of what to do next. Instead of explaining myself or trying to reason with them, which they’ll probably be expecting, I’ll try changing the subject to something bizarre, making animal noises, singing a song, speaking in another language, lying down on the floor, etc. I won’t touch or do anything to scare or intimidate the other person, just give them a fun little show and see if that does the trick.

I got this idea from listening to Derren Brown tell Joe Rogan about his experience with this earlier in his life. Instead of trying to reason with or fight a drunk guy who got in his face, he changed the subject and started talking about the height of the wall around his house. This confused the guy sufficiently to drain away his aggressive energy and stop him from being a threat. This is also similar to the way Tony Robbins uses state breaks as explained in this video from Charisma on Command. Although I had heard of both of those ideas before the incident at my job, I hadn’t yet worked out a plan to use them. Now that I’ve worked through my feelings from that situation and thought a lot about what to do if it happens again, I feel much more confident that I’ll be able to reduce tensions and defuse an aggressive situation if necessary. If you’ve tried this sort of strategy in a tense situation, please let me know what you did and how it went. I’d love to hear about it. For now, though, That’s All, Folks!

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