Zoom In

Posted on March 2, 2019 by admin

I’ve written about how zooming out helps me relax and center myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed with negative thoughts about myself. In other situations, I’ll find myself stuck thinking about negative things that are going on in the world. When that happens, I find it useful to zoom in.

When I zoom in, I usually take a break from the internet and leave my phone somewhere out of reach. This way, I don’t have my positive energy drained by seeing story after story about everything that’s going wrong. I do what I can to make a positive difference, but what good does it do to torture myself by constantly looking at negative stuff that’s beyond my sphere of influence? Instead, I think about my local community, including the people I see on a regular basis, the friendships we’ve developed over time, and the things we’re going to do together soon. Sometimes I zoom all the way in and focus solely on the good things in my own life: the great books I’ve read, progress I’ve made in a certain area, things I’m going to do in my free time, etc. This is a good way to avoid needless negativity in my usual circles and think about positive things in the areas of my life over which I have the most control.

Zooming in allows me to avoid paying attention to things I can’t control; I can then direct that time and energy toward focusing on the important things. Thus, rather than trying to follow a lot of depressing stories that I can’t influence, I can give my attention to a few situations that I can positively impact. Alternatively, by zooming in, I can get away from all the bickering, drama, petty fights, and other pointless wastes of time that aren’t worth considering at all. Lastly, I find that zooming in helps me zoom out later on. Once I’ve taken some time to remind myself of my values and what I want to accomplish in my life, I can look again at the bigger picture and see opportunities to help. Whether I need a break from things that don’t serve me or a reminder of what I consider to be my place in the world, a lot of good comes from zooming in.

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The Five Monkeys Experiment

Posted on March 1, 2019 by admin

This is a short story based on an actual experiment involving rhesus monkeys. The story demonstrates the tendency for people to do things a certain way simply because “that’s the way we’ve always done them”. Sometimes it’s worth taking a step back and asking if a system is being continued because it’s a good idea or because of cultural and historical momentum that nobody thinks (or dares) to challenge. The full post from which I got this story can be found here if you’d like to check it out.

An experimenter puts 5 monkeys in a large cage. High up at the top of the cage, well beyond the reach of the monkeys, is a bunch of bananas. Underneath the bananas is a ladder.

The monkeys immediately spot the bananas and one begins to climb the ladder. As he does, however, the experimenter sprays him with a stream of cold water. Then, he proceeds to spray each of the other monkeys.

The monkey on the ladder scrambles off. And all 5 sit for a time on the floor, wet, cold, and bewildered. Soon, though, the temptation of the bananas is too great, and another monkey begins to climb the ladder. Again, the experimenter sprays the ambitious monkey with cold water and all the other monkeys as well. When a third monkey tries to climb the ladder, the other monkeys, wanting to avoid the cold spray, pull him off the ladder and beat him.

Now one monkey is removed and a new monkey is introduced to the cage. Spotting the bananas, he naively begins to climb the ladder. The other monkeys pull him off and beat him.

Here’s where it gets interesting. The experimenter removes a second one of the original monkeys from the cage and replaces him with a new monkey. Again, the new monkey begins to climb the ladder and, again, the other monkeys pull him off and beat him – including the monkey who had never been sprayed.

By the end of the experiment, none of the original monkeys were left and yet, despite none of them ever experiencing the cold, wet, spray, they had all learned never to try and go for the bananas.

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My First Float in a Sensory Deprivation Tank

Posted on February 28, 2019 by admin

Last night, I floated for the first time in a sensory deprivation tank. This is an enclosed tub full of salt water and magnesium that suspends you effortlessly in a dark, quiet place. I’ve known about them for most of my life but never thought about trying one until recently. I’m so glad I did. Here’s an overview of my experience and takeaways from it.

I got there half an hour before my appointment. The guy who works there showed me where I’d be floating and explained the process to me. After he set up the lights, music, and tub, he went back out front and I started getting ready. I finished showering about the same time the tub finished filling, so I put in my earplugs, pulled the lid shut, and started floating. I’d never floated effortlessly before then, so that took some getting used to. It was such a new sensation for me that I actually laughed as I sat back and started floating (I had many other moments of genuine, joyous laughter both in and out of the tub). The lights and music stayed on for five minutes before slowly fading out. At that point, there were no external distractions, no responsibilities, and no schedule to keep. Just me and my thoughts.

Once I fully relaxed, I felt no negativity whatsoever. The only emotions I felt in the tub were joy and happiness. I felt very safe, comfortable, and at ease in there. The water was kept at a constant temperature, so I didn’t notice it much. This made it easy to settle in and watch my thoughts. Except for focusing on my breath and repositioning myself when I bumped into the side, I didn’t try to control the experience or feel a certain way. I did my best to just relax and go along with whatever came up. Even when I got a bit of salt and magnesium in my eye a few times, I just wiped it out with a towel and spray bottle of fresh water they provided and went right back to floating without letting it affect me negatively.

This was like getting an hour to talk to my higher self without interruption. I got a lot of insights into my life and things I can do differently or better. Some of these included not taking things personally, being thankful instead of complaining, looking for peace with others instead of conflict, honoring the people around me and my life situation, accepting whatever comes my way instead of resisting it, being true to myself rather than acting how I think other people want me to act, relaxing, not being too serious, and the way floating could change the world if everyone experienced it. Perhaps the most interesting insight that I had was an answer to the question “What’s on the other side of fear and pain?” The answer I had heard before was “Nothing”, but my answer is a little different: “Nothing but freedom”. These insights came easily and without any effort on my part, which I credit to the fact that all I could do in there was float and enjoy the experience.

After I got used to being in the tub, it felt like I had been in there my whole life. I lost my sense of self and awareness of my life outside the tub several times, and time also lost all relevance. I think that this is as close as we can get to being back inside the womb. If that’s true, then I can see why babies are so upset after being born: I wanted to stay in there forever, I was sad when it ended, and, even though the lights started out on a low setting when they gradually came back on, they still blinded me. And I felt so heavy when I got out, as if I had been free from gravity in there. I’m light for a guy my age and I exercise regularly (in addition to having a very physically-demanding job), but I still struggled as I walked toward the shower. When I finished showering and getting dressed, I talked about my experience with the guy who set it up for me; while I did this, I also had some tea, relaxed in a massage chair, wrote down some of my thoughts, and just enjoyed the feeling of being while in a state of deep tranquility and joy.

Floating in a sensory deprivation tank was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. I’ve been meditating regularly since 2018 and this was like meditation times ten. I can think of only a handful of moments during which I was as relaxed as I was in the tub. Additionally, I started relaxing much more quickly in the tub than in any of those other moments of deep relaxation. When I got out, I intentionally avoided using my phone (with the exception of taking a picture). It was easy to avoid surfing the internet and checking social media since I had no desire to do so. Normally I have trouble staying away from that stuff for more than twenty minutes, but last night I avoided it for several hours. I think I was able to do that because I felt so good that I wanted to just marinate in that feeling without getting sucked into something else and I wanted to avoid seeing anything negative on my newsfeed. Whatever the reason, I’m glad I took some time away. I felt amazing for the rest of the night, which was a pleasant surprise. If you have never floated before, please do yourself a favor and try it out. Your experience will probably be different in some ways than mine, but I’m sure you’ll get whatever you need out of it and I think you’ll enjoy it. If you do try it, please let me know. I’d love to hear about it.

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What Is This, Some Kind of Joke?

Posted on February 27, 2019 by admin

This is a little joke that makes me laugh and I wanted to share it with you. I hope you enjoy it as well.

A man is rescued from a desert island after 20 years. The news media, amazed at this feat of survival, ask him to show them his home.

“How did you survive? How did you keep sane?” they ask him, as he shows them around the small island.
“I had my faith. My faith kept me strong. Come.” He leads them to a small glen, where stands an opulent church, made entirely from palm fronds, coconut shells and woven grass. The news cameras take pictures of everything – even a prayer book made from banana leaves and written in octopus ink. “This took me five years to complete.”
“Amazing! And what did you do for the next fifteen years?”
“Come with me.” He leads them around to the far side of the island. There, in a shady grove, is an even more beautiful church. “This one took me twelve years to complete!”
“But sir” asks the reporter, “Why did you build two churches?”
“This is the church I attend. That other place? Hah! I wouldn’t set foot in there if you PAID me!”


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Leaders vs Bosses

Posted on February 26, 2019 by admin
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A leader shows the path forward by walking it ahead of everyone else. If a leader asks you to follow a certain plan of action, you can be sure that he’s already tried it out himself and made sure it will work because a leader will never ask anyone to do something that he isn’t willing to do himself. When things are going crazy and everyone is working their hardest, the leader is right there with them in the trenches. A leader is always asking for input as he knows that having participation from those around him increases the chances for success and leads to better relationships and interactions. A leader respects those around him and always acknowledges their humanity. A leader will point out great qualities in you and work with you to develop them so that you can live your best life.

A boss saves the work he dislikes the most for other people. During times of great stress, a boss will retreat and leave everyone else alone to fight their hardest battles. When a boss tells you to do something differently than you normally do it, he’s most likely using you as a test subject to see if this new plan works; even if it doesn’t work, he’ll probably tell you to keep doing it that way. A boss thinks he knows best and has nothing to gain from listening to someone else’s ideas, so he doesn’t even bother asking for input in the first place. A boss has little to no respect for those around him and sees them as workers to be ordered around. A boss only looks at the qualities in you that will benefit him and focuses solely on bringing them out for his own benefit.

I’ve had a lot of experience with bosses and a little experience with leaders. The two could not be more different. Being around leaders is inspiring, energizing, and refreshing; being around bosses is depressing, frustrating, and demoralizing. Naturally, I much prefer to spend time with leaders and feel much better after being around them for even a short time. Simply watching them has taught me a lot about effectively communicating and interacting with other people, and reading their works (or works about them) has taught me even more. I’m fortunate that I’ve met and gotten to know increasingly more wonderful leaders over time and I plan to keep learning from them as I continue to grow into the person I want to be.

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Tribute to Books

Posted on February 25, 2019 by admin

Books allow us to communicate our ideas through time and space. We can read books written hundreds or even thousands of years before we were born. Almost like having a conversation with those writers with whom our paths otherwise would never have crossed. And we can write books that will be read by people born hundreds or thousands of years after our deaths so they too can have a conversation with us. We can only talk to so many people during our lives, and books allow us to talk to exponentially more after we’re gone.

Books enrich our knowledge and our creativity by exposing us to new ideas and new information. From this we can improve our world by producing more art, coming up with better ways of helping one another, and understanding different perspectives so we can see each other as friends instead of enemies. The power of books is made evident not just by those who enjoy them, but by those who attempt to destroy them. Tyrannical despots who burn books that contain the keys to the chains that bind people in ignorance and in fear. They try to preserve their power to keep people in the dark by snuffing out the lights that lead to freedom.

But the greater danger than those who would burn books is those who never read them. Those who bind us in chains have no need to keep the keys away from us if we neither know nor care we’re enslaved. The challenge lies in reaching out to the distracted, the busy, the depressed, and the indifferent and showing them that there is another way. But we can’t force it on them. Only they can decide to free themselves from their shackles and get to the light. All we can do is offer them a bit of the light we have seen and hope they will join us. And as long as there are those who read books, hope will never die.

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My Take on Freedom

Posted on February 24, 2019 by admin

In George Orwell’s chilling book 1984, the characters live under a totalitarian government called Big Brother. Big Brother watches everyone all the time, listens in on their conversations, and controls all the information they see. Beyond that, it doesn’t even allow anyone to think negatively about it. Rather than just executing anyone caught thinking against Big Brother, it tortures, brainwashes, and manipulates them until they surrender and love Big Brother. Fortunately, unlike in 1984, we always have the ability to think for ourselves and decide how to feel about anything. This is one freedom that hardly gets mentioned even though we all have it and nobody can take it away from us.

Freedom is all about knowing that only you can make decisions about how you feel, what you think, and how you react to any given situation. You’re in control of yourself, so nobody can make you feel or think a certain way; only you can decide those things for yourself. In short, your freedom doesn’t depend on anyone behaving in a certain way toward you. Understanding this intellectually is much easier and more attainable than embracing it and living it out, but making it a way of life is well worth the effort. Your choice to live in freedom is strengthened by distinguishing between what will improve your life and what will reduce it, and then, as much as possible, pursuing the former while avoiding the latter. This can be done by focusing on the areas of your life over which you have the most control, examining your values and interests to determine and order your priorities, and figuring out where you want to go in life and then working backwards to develop a plan to get there. That will put you on a path of your own making and prevent you from being pushed around by the momentum of your culture, any unrealistic expectations from people around you, or lack of direction on your part.

There are many types of freedom that you can obtain if you choose, including but not limited to the following: freedom from incessant thinking, negative thinking, destructive self-talk, past pain, self-imposed limitations, taking what other people say and do personally, and having to trade huge amounts of your time for money. Harry Browne talked a great deal about freedom and several traps we can fall into that prevent us from living as freely as we could be. Additionally, Stephen Covey, Don Miguel Ruiz, and Eckhart Tolle explore the extent to which our mindsets affect our freedom in their books The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The Four Agreements, and The Power of Now, respectively. And lastly, Tim Ferriss uses The 4-Hour Workweek to show some possible ways that we can free up a great deal of our time and spend it as we like while still making a living (financial freedom). As you might have guessed, these people and their works have all heavily influenced my thoughts on freedom. Since I’ve had a good bit of time now to process their ideas and try them out for myself, I’ve seen major improvements in each area of my life. I still have a lot to learn and work on with all of this, but I wanted to share my take and experience thus far with you in the hopes that it will allow you to live a freer, fuller life if that’s what you want. The choice is yours.

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Taking a Stand

Posted on February 23, 2019 by admin
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It’s easy to talk a good game about honesty, integrity, loyalty, and other virtues when everything is going smoothly and those virtues aren’t needed. It’s another matter entirely to act according to those virtues in difficult times. Times where taking a stand may result in harsh consequences and little to no worldly gain. Those difficult situations reveal one’s true values.

Robert Cialdini talks about the power of social proof in his book Influence. Social proof is the tendency to look at what others around us are doing and go along with them, and it’s extremely difficult for most people to avoid this. That’s what makes it all the more impressive when someone does stand up and say “Enough” even if they stand alone. Those people are usually maligned during their lives but are often celebrated after their deaths. The more they have to lose by taking a stand and the bigger the stand they take, the more they’re admired later on.

While there are a few people who take a stand for their values even when doing so creates a lot of trouble for them, there are many more who back down and do whatever they’re told. That’s understandable since rocking the boat comes with a lot of risks, but it’s inspiring to see the few who make waves regardless of what happens to them as a result. Their courage and boldness often end up making things better for everyone, even those who chose to remain quiet rather than speak up. They inspire others to stick to their guns when the going gets tough and, since many of them came from humble backgrounds, they also show us that anyone can do this. True leadership is exactly that: inspiring people to take action even when it’s difficult and teaching by example. As long as there are leaders who encourage others to stand up for their values, there will always be hope for the future.

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Watching My Thoughts

Posted on February 22, 2019 by admin

There is a meditative technique that I learned about from The Power of Now and several other places. It involves “watching” my thoughts instead of getting stuck in them. This took me a long time to understand and be able to do, so I’ll explain what I mean as best as I can.

I start by closing my eyes and taking several slow, deep breaths, focusing on each breath as I go. After a few minutes of this, I feel like I can “step back” from my thoughts and watch them as they come up, almost like watching the different floats in a parade. It then becomes easy to avoid labeling any of my thoughts as good or bad. Whether I begin thinking of a happy experience or an upsetting experience, I can sit back and simply observe the thought (as well as my reaction to it if I have one) instead of identifying with the thought and losing myself in it. If I start to get hung up on a particular thought, I’ll acknowledge how I’m feeling about it (which is as simple as thinking or saying “That feels like an angry/sad thought” without condemning the thought or feeling), make a conscious effort to let go of that feeling when I exhale (sometimes it takes several breaths before I can fully let it go), and then return to focusing on my breath. That helps me get back to a place of neutrality and mental quietude.

I normally do this shortly after waking up in the morning and right before going to bed at night. Recently, I’ve started doing it at several points during the day, especially when I feel myself getting overwhelmed. This practice has been incredibly helpful for avoiding stress and managing it when it appears. I used to identify with nearly every thought that entered my head and give it a great deal of energy by continuously thinking about it, which gave me crazy mood swings and made me miserable much of the time. When I started looking into controlling my mindsets, I would try suppressing negative thoughts and only thinking positively, which worked for a little while but resulted in me exploding when the pent-up emotions all came flooding back at once. Watching my thoughts has been by far the best strategy I’ve ever tried for handling my emotions. If I’m really on the ball, I can notice when negative thoughts begin to appear and start observing them rather than letting them take me over; when I’m too late to prevent that from happening, noticing that I’ve lost my way and watching my thoughts helps me settle down and regain my composure. Being able to distance myself from my thoughts also helps me heal from painful experiences as I can see them more objectively instead of getting trapped in the pain from the memory. I highly recommend trying this out for yourself and seeing if it helps you. As far as I can tell, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

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Review of Incredibles 2

Posted on February 21, 2019 by admin

Yesterday, I saw Incredibles 2 for the first time. I had heard a lot of good things about it but failed to catch it while it was in theaters, so I decided to check it out. I had a blast watching the movie and here are some of my thoughts on it.

Incredibles 2 starts right where the first one left off. After stopping one of the Underminer’s machines and failing to capture him, the Parrs are arrested as superhero action is still illegal. Agent Rick Dicker then tells them that the Superhero Relocation Program is being shut down and the most he can do to help them is get them a few weeks’ stay in a hotel. Later that night, Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, and Frozone meet two wealthy siblings who say they want to make superhero action legal once again and believe Elastigirl is their best shot at making it happen. So they all move into a home provided by the siblings and Mr. Incredible looks after the kids while Elastigirl goes back to fighting bad guys and saving the day. But when a villain called the Screenslaver proves to be a bigger threat than anyone had imagined, the family has to come together once again to make things right.

As much as I enjoyed The Incredibles, I liked Incredibles 2 even more. The sequel made me laugh longer and harder, had me on the edge of my seat more often, and held my attention better than the original movie. Plus it was nice to see the family interact more with each other this time around. I watched Incredibles 2 at home long after it had been out of theaters and saw hardly any trailers for it, so maybe having no real expectations for the movie enhanced my enjoyment of it since almost everything in it was a surprise to me.Incredibles 2 had some of the best action sequences and biggest laughs of any superhero movie I’ve seen, so I’ll definitely be returning to this several more times. If you haven’t seen this incredible movie, I highly recommend checking it out.

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