The Tartt Take

I’ve written a lot about life hacks and I decided to make a post of the best ones I use on a regular basis. This post can double as a quick-reference guide that anyone can use as needed and a way for me to better remember these by writing about them again. I hope this helps you and adds value to your life.

1. Focus on the breath. When I experience an emotion strongly, my breath tends to become shallow and quick. If I catch myself doing this, I can slow down my breathing to help settle whatever emotion I’m feeling. This gives me better control over the thought and allows me to decide if it’s worth thinking about. 
2. Watch my thoughts. I still have a tendency to become lost in my thoughts, so putting some distance between them and myself prevents that from happening. I know I’m on the right track when I can think about something that would normally elicit a strong emotional reaction from me and not have that reaction.
3. Meditate. I don’t know how I ever got by before I started meditating. Now I do it at least twice a day and sometimes three or more times. Meditating helps me start and finish my days on a positive note and get through the middle portion when I’m most likely to get stressed out. Whether I meditate for two minutes or more than half an hour, I always benefit from taking a bit of time to pause and reflect.
4. Abide by The Four Agreements. That book contains so much wisdom as well as practical methods of living out its teachings. In any given day, I’ll remind myself to follow at least two of the agreements and there are some days that I have to remember to follow all four. Whatever’s going on around me or within me, following even just one of those agreements makes me feel much better.
5. Sit or lie down and release all tension from my body. When I’m sitting or lying down, I make a conscious effort to relax my body as much as possible and yield to the surface upon which I’m resting by letting it fully support me. I concentrate on each body part and release the tension within it before moving onto the next one. A minute or two of doing this makes me feel very light and serene. It’s much harder to be upset lying down than it is standing or sitting up, so this works wonders. 
6. Sharpen the saw. I take some time every day to care for myself, and I give myself even more time for that on my days off. Being on the go nonstop becomes counterproductive once I get exhausted, and the longer I’m on the go without taking time to rest, the less effective I become at anything. Even a short break can work wonders for me, and I always make sure to avoid pushing myself to the point of burnout. Without those replenishing breaks, I won’t be able to help myself or anyone else.
7. Float in a sensory deprivation tank. Floating in that tub was the best feeling I’ve ever had, and simply thinking about being in there still makes me feel incredible. I described it as best as I could in that post but you’ll probably have to try it for yourself to know exactly what it was like. I got so many benefits from just that one float and I plan to do it many more times. This is probably the strongest life hack I’ve found thus far.
8. Take cold showers. While not as powerful as the sensory deprivation tank, cold showers still help me a lot. I can clear my head fairly well while I’m standing under the cold water and avoid dwelling on negative or needless thoughts. If I’ve been in an especially bad mood, a cold shower often majorly improves my mood by the time I’m finished with it. Plus it’s a great way to cool off on a hot day.
9. Ground. This involves either sitting or standing still, thinking about something that’s stressing me, and imagining it going out through the bottoms of my feet and deep into the Earth. I bring it to mind when I take a deep breath in and then release it when I exhale. The deep breathing relaxes me and visualizing the negative energy flowing out from me puts me into a better frame of mind, making me feel light and happy. I do this at least twice a day, sometimes more if I need to.
10. Eye scramble. This involves rolling my eyes around while humming a short song. I don’t know why this works, but it helps me stop negative thoughts in their tracks and prevents me from being overtaken by them. Sometimes one is enough but other times I’ll have to do three to help center myself.
11. Recite or listen to one of Mister Rogers’ songs. Singing or talking through “What Do You Do With the Mad That You Feel?” always makes me feel better and prevents me from getting excessively angry. Additionally, listening to “It’s You I Like” and “Many Ways To Say I Love You” help me when I’m feeling down and alone. Even just hearing Mister Rogers speak for a few minutes almost always puts me in a much better mood.
12. Listen to relaxing music. I have several go-to songs that help me feel better when I’m in a bad mood and make me feel great when I’m in a good mood. Singing along often helps even more than just listening to them.
13. Stretch. I haven’t been doing enough of this lately and I have to get back to it. In addition to feeling good, stretching helps relieve stress and tension in the body, reduces the risk of injury from tight muscles, and gives me space to breathe and relax without having a lot of distractions around me. I can do it almost anywhere and it neither costs me any money nor requires any equipment. Doesn’t get much better than that.
14. Zoom out. This involves taking attention away from myself and focusing instead people I know, my local community, or the big picture. It’s hard to get stuck in negative thoughts about myself if I’m thinking of someone (or something) else instead, and this is pretty easy to remember and perform, so it works well in a pinch.
15. Zoom in. The opposite of zooming out, this is useful when I want to avoid falling into the negativity of those around me. Rather than going along with how they’re acting, I’ll think of something that makes me feel good and focus all my attention on that.
16. Looking at my surroundings and reminding myself that I’m ok. If I’m feeling anxious and there’s nothing dangerous around me, then I sometimes say out loud to myself that I am safe and not in physical danger. The fight-or-flight response is unnecessary in the absence of danger, so this helps reduce negative feelings when there’s no reason to have them. 
17. Countering negative thoughts with positive thoughts. It can either be a general positive thought if I’m feeling negative but don’t know why or a specific positive thought chosen to contrast a specific negative thought. If I’m beating myself up over something I once did, I sometimes think to myself “I am going to forgive myself and use the lesson I learned from making that mistake to avoid making it again.” 
18. Use loving-kindness. If I’m focusing on someone else and wishing them well, then it’s pretty much impossible to wallow in negative thoughts about myself. I smile almost every time I practice this sincerely and I always feel better immediately.
19. Give others the benefit of the doubt. I don’t necessarily know why someone acts in a particular way. Maybe they had a rough day, recently lost a loved one, or have a chronic condition that makes their life more difficult. Even if I know what’s driving their behavior, I still can’t control it for them. I can, however, control my reaction to them, so I try to focus on that.
20. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. The second on this list from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I have much better conversations when I find out where someone is coming from and listen with the intent to understand rather than reply. This takes the pressure off me to automatically respond, lets me learn more about the other person, and avoids the many problems that arise from making assumptions.
21. Holding space. I don’t always have to respond to what someone says or does. Sometimes the best thing I can do is remain quiet and hold space for them to do or say whatever’s on their mind. That may be all they need in order to work through their feelings or solve a problem. Either way, it prevents me from getting caught up in their negativity and trying to be the hero when they neither want nor need anyone to do that.
22. Overcoming shyness through action. When I first meet someone, I find it much easier to relax and feel at ease around them if we can do something together. Dance, juggle, play a sport, etc. This makes the interaction go much smoother than if we just start out by talking without doing much of anything else.