Review of Tools of Titans

Tools of Titans is a great book that contains a ton of useful information. Author Tim Ferriss interviewed over a hundred people with unusual life stories (athletes, health enthusiasts, business people, writers, actors, etc) to learn what they did to get where they are and how they make it through the day. The result? Nearly 700 pages full of advice for living effectively in the areas of health, wealth, and wisdom.

Most, if not all, of the entries are based on interviews from Ferriss’s podcast. The conversational and informal feel makes each entry fairly easy to understand, though some of the ones covering unconventional subjects may be a bit tricky for those unfamiliar with them. While the podcasts can be well over an hour long, the entries in the book are usually no longer than 5-10 pages each since they’re comprised of the highlights from each episode. This makes it easy to read one entry per day in a relatively short amount of time. However, there are a few longer entries and special segments covering ideas outside of those discussed by the interviewees; they’re well worth the extra time it takes to read and process them.

My one complaint about the book is that the way it’s laid out makes it difficult to find specific bits of information. Having an index would be helpful, especially in a book this size. Because most of the entries are organized by a person’s name instead of a particular subject, it can be hard to find certain points unless you remember who talked about them. And, since some subjects were covered by multiple people, this can be quite challenging, especially for the people who are more obscure. It does help that the book is organized into 3 distinct sections, though: “Healthy”, “Wealthy”, and “Wise”. This makes it easier to find certain points than if the book were organized solely by the names of the participants.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Tools of Titans and learned a lot of great life hacks from it. The lessons are mostly discussed directly and in plain English (which is how I prefer to learn), but sometimes they’re presented through short stories or poems. By reading just 1-2 entries each day, I was able to read the whole book in about 3-4 months. Normally I would read an entry in the morning and then read a chapter of whatever my main book at the time was in the evening. This allowed me to make steady progress through this and several other books without getting information overload or confusing the lessons. When it comes to living effectively, the book at least mentions nearly everything you could want and dives deeper into a number of subjects. Tools of Titans has something for everybody, so I highly recommend checking it out and adding a few new tools to your collection.

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Review of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I recently watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Somehow, I never heard much about this movie, so I didn’t know what to expect. The brief description I read about it gave me some idea of the plot, but it didn’t prepare me for how amazing it would be. If you want to find out for yourself, skip this review and the major spoilers it contains.

The movie follows Joel and Clementine (played by Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet, respectively) as they reconnect after erasing their memories of each other and their relationship. Most of what occurs is seen through Joel’s memories as he’s undergoing the memory erasing procedure. About halfway through, he decides he wants to stop and tries desperately to preserve his remaining memories of Clementine. After he realizes and accepts that he can’t stop the procedure, he enjoys revisiting his last few memories of Clementine and the start of their relationship. The first few scenes from the movie are then replayed, with us now knowing their story, and them having the opportunity to start over again.

A lot of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind focuses on lucid dreams, traces of forgotten memories, destiny, and second chances. Since most of the movie takes place in Joel’s mind, the filmmakers get incredibly creative. The memory erasing process starts with the most recent memories and works backwards, so we gradually learn how their relationship started off well after seeing that it ended badly. If you’ve seen Inception, then you’ll have some idea of the kinds of things that happen in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind; both movies share similar concepts and visuals regarding dreams and memories. This makes it difficult to follow at times, but everything comes together beautifully by the end.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is one of the most amazing movies I’ve ever seen and well worth checking out.

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My Best Life Hacks

I’ve written a lot about life hacks and I decided to make a post of the best ones I use on a regular basis. This post can double as a quick-reference guide that anyone can use as needed and a way for me to better remember these by writing about them again. I hope this helps you and adds value to your life.

  1. Focus on the breath. When I experience an emotion strongly, my breath tends to become shallow and quick. If I catch myself doing this, I can slow down my breathing to help settle whatever emotion I’m feeling. This gives me better control over the thought and allows me to decide if it’s worth thinking about. 
  2. Watch my thoughts. I still have a tendency to become lost in my thoughts, so putting some distance between them and myself prevents that from happening. I know I’m on the right track when I can think about something that would normally elicit a strong emotional reaction from me and not have that reaction.
  3. Meditate. I don’t know how I ever got by before I started meditating. Now I do it at least twice a day and sometimes three or more times. Meditating helps me start and finish my days on a positive note and get through the middle portion when I’m most likely to get stressed out. Whether I meditate for two minutes or more than half an hour, I always benefit from taking a bit of time to pause and reflect.
  4. Abide by The Four Agreements. That book contains so much wisdom as well as practical methods of living out its teachings. In any given day, I’ll remind myself to follow at least two of the agreements and there are some days that I have to remember to follow all four. Whatever’s going on around me or within me, following even just one of those agreements makes me feel much better.
  5. Sit or lie down and release all tension from my body. When I’m sitting or lying down, I make a conscious effort to relax my body as much as possible and yield to the surface upon which I’m resting by letting it fully support me. I concentrate on each body part and release the tension within it before moving onto the next one. A minute or two of doing this makes me feel very light and serene. It’s much harder to be upset lying down than it is standing or sitting up, so this works wonders. 
  6. Sharpen the saw. I take some time every day to care for myself, and I give myself even more time for that on my days off. Being on the go nonstop becomes counterproductive once I get exhausted, and the longer I’m on the go without taking time to rest, the less effective I become at anything. Even a short break can work wonders for me, and I always make sure to avoid pushing myself to the point of burnout. Without those replenishing breaks, I won’t be able to help myself or anyone else.
  7. Float in a sensory deprivation tank. Floating in that tub was the best feeling I’ve ever had, and simply thinking about being in there still makes me feel incredible. I described it as best as I could in that post but you’ll probably have to try it for yourself to know exactly what it was like. I got so many benefits from just that one float and I plan to do it many more times. This is probably the strongest life hack I’ve found thus far.
  8. Take cold showers. While not as powerful as the sensory deprivation tank, cold showers still help me a lot. I can clear my head fairly well while I’m standing under the cold water and avoid dwelling on negative or needless thoughts. If I’ve been in an especially bad mood, a cold shower often majorly improves my mood by the time I’m finished with it. Plus it’s a great way to cool off on a hot day.
  9. Ground. This involves either sitting or standing still, thinking about something that’s stressing me, and imagining it going out through the bottoms of my feet and deep into the Earth. I bring it to mind when I take a deep breath in and then release it when I exhale. The deep breathing relaxes me and visualizing the negative energy flowing out from me puts me into a better frame of mind, making me feel light and happy. I do this at least twice a day, sometimes more if I need to.
  10. Eye scramble. This involves rolling my eyes around while humming a short song. I don’t know why this works, but it helps me stop negative thoughts in their tracks and prevents me from being overtaken by them. Sometimes one is enough but other times I’ll have to do three to help center myself.
  11. Recite or listen to one of Mister Rogers’ songs. Singing or talking through “What Do You Do With the Mad That You Feel?” always makes me feel better and prevents me from getting excessively angry. Additionally, listening to “It’s You I Like” and “Many Ways To Say I Love You” help me when I’m feeling down and alone. Even just hearing Mister Rogers speak for a few minutes almost always puts me in a much better mood.
  12. Listen to relaxing music. I have several go-to songs that help me feel better when I’m in a bad mood and make me feel great when I’m in a good mood. Singing along often helps even more than just listening to them.
  13. Stretch. I haven’t been doing enough of this lately and I have to get back to it. In addition to feeling good, stretching helps relieve stress and tension in the body, reduces the risk of injury from tight muscles, and gives me space to breathe and relax without having a lot of distractions around me. I can do it almost anywhere and it neither costs me any money nor requires any equipment. Doesn’t get much better than that.
  14. Zoom out. This involves taking attention away from myself and focusing instead people I know, my local community, or the big picture. It’s hard to get stuck in negative thoughts about myself if I’m thinking of someone (or something) else instead, and this is pretty easy to remember and perform, so it works well in a pinch.
  15. Zoom in. The opposite of zooming out, this is useful when I want to avoid falling into the negativity of those around me. Rather than going along with how they’re acting, I’ll think of something that makes me feel good and focus all my attention on that.
  16. Looking at my surroundings and reminding myself that I’m ok. If I’m feeling anxious and there’s nothing dangerous around me, then I sometimes say out loud to myself that I am safe and not in physical danger. The fight-or-flight response is unnecessary in the absence of danger, so this helps reduce negative feelings when there’s no reason to have them. 
  17. Countering negative thoughts with positive thoughts. It can either be a general positive thought if I’m feeling negative but don’t know why or a specific positive thought chosen to contrast a specific negative thought. If I’m beating myself up over something I once did, I sometimes think to myself “I am going to forgive myself and use the lesson I learned from making that mistake to avoid making it again.” 
  18. Use loving-kindness. If I’m focusing on someone else and wishing them well, then it’s pretty much impossible to wallow in negative thoughts about myself. I smile almost every time I practice this sincerely and I always feel better immediately.
  19. Give others the benefit of the doubt. I don’t necessarily know why someone acts in a particular way. Maybe they had a rough day, recently lost a loved one, or have a chronic condition that makes their life more difficult. Even if I know what’s driving their behavior, I still can’t control it for them. I can, however, control my reaction to them, so I try to focus on that.
  20. Seek first to understand, then to be understood. The second on this list from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. I have much better conversations when I find out where someone is coming from and listen with the intent to understand rather than reply. This takes the pressure off me to automatically respond, lets me learn more about the other person, and avoids the many problems that arise from making assumptions.
  21. Holding space. I don’t always have to respond to what someone says or does. Sometimes the best thing I can do is remain quiet and hold space for them to do or say whatever’s on their mind. That may be all they need in order to work through their feelings or solve a problem. Either way, it prevents me from getting caught up in their negativity and trying to be the hero when they neither want nor need anyone to do that.
  22. Overcoming shyness through action. When I first meet someone, I find it much easier to relax and feel at ease around them if we can do something together. Dance, juggle, play a sport, etc. This makes the interaction go much smoother than if we just start out by talking without doing much of anything else.
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“Good”

This is Jocko Willink’s approach to challenging situations in life. I’ve seen clips from one of his appearances on Joe Rogan’s podcast and read about him in Tim Ferriss’s Tools of Titans, which is where I first saw this. It’s similar to the approach I’ve gradually developed by trying out life hacks in different situations and seeing what works the best, so I thought it was worth sharing. I hope you find it useful.

“How do I deal with setbacks, failures, delays, defeats, or other disasters? I actually have a fairly simple way of dealing with these situations, summed up in one word:

“Good.”

This is something that one of my direct subordinates, one of the guys who worked for me, a guy who became one of my best friends pointed out. He would pull me aside with some major problem or issue that was going on, and he’d say, “Boss, we’ve got this thing, this situation, and it’s going terribly wrong.”

I would look at him and say, “Good.”

And finally, one day, he was telling me about something that was going off the rails, and as soon as he finished explaining it to me, he said, “I already know what you’re going to say.”

And I asked, “What am I going to say?”

And he said, “You’re going to say: ‘Good.’ ”

He continued, “That’s what you always say. When Something is wrong or going bad, you just look at me and say, ‘Good.’ ”

And I said, “Well. I mean it. Because that is how I operate.”

So I explained to him that when things are going bad, there’s going to be some good that will come from it.

Oh, the mission got canceled? Good… We can focus on another one.
Didn’t get the new high-speed gear we wanted? Good… We can keep it simple.
Didn’t get promoted? Good… More time to get better.
Didn’t get funded? Good… We own more of the company.
Didn’t get the job you wanted? Good… Go out, gain more experience, and build a better resume.
Got injured? Good… Needed a bread from training.
Got tapped out? Good… It’s better to tap out in training than tap out on the street.
Got beat? Good… We learned.
Unexpected problems? Good… We have to figure out a solutions

That’s it. When things are going bad: Don’t get all bummed out, don’t get started, don’t get frustrated. No. Just look at the issue and say: “Good.”

Now, I don’t mean to say something trite; I’m not trying to sound like Mr. Smiley Positive Guy. That guy ignores the hard truth. That guy thinks a positive attitude will solve problems. It won’t. But neither will dwelling on the problem. No. Accept reality, but focus on the solution. Take that issue, take that setback, take that problem, and turn it into something good. Go forward. And, if you are part of a team, that attitude will spread throughout.

Finally: if you can say the word “good,” then guess what?

It means you’re still alive.

It means you’re still breathing.

And if you’re still breathing, that means you’ve still got some fight left in you.

So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage – and go out on the attack.”

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Zoom In

I’ve written about how zooming out helps me relax and center myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed with negative thoughts about myself. In other situations, I’ll find myself stuck thinking about negative things that are going on in the world. When that happens, I find it useful to zoom in.

When I zoom in, I usually take a break from the internet and leave my phone somewhere out of reach. This way, I don’t have my positive energy drained by seeing story after story about everything that’s going wrong. I do what I can to make a positive difference, but what good does it do to torture myself by constantly looking at negative stuff that’s beyond my sphere of influence? Instead, I think about my local community, including the people I see on a regular basis, the friendships we’ve developed over time, and the things we’re going to do together soon. Sometimes I zoom all the way in and focus solely on the good things in my own life: the great books I’ve read, progress I’ve made in a certain area, things I’m going to do in my free time, etc. This is a good way to avoid needless negativity in my usual circles and think about positive things in the areas of my life over which I have the most control.

Zooming in allows me to avoid paying attention to things I can’t control; I can then direct that time and energy toward focusing on the important things. Thus, rather than trying to follow a lot of depressing stories that I can’t influence, I can give my attention to a few situations that I can positively impact. Alternatively, by zooming in, I can get away from all the bickering, drama, petty fights, and other pointless wastes of time that aren’t worth considering at all. Lastly, I find that zooming in helps me zoom out later on. Once I’ve taken some time to remind myself of my values and what I want to accomplish in my life, I can look again at the bigger picture and see opportunities to help. Whether I need a break from things that don’t serve me or a reminder of what I consider to be my place in the world, a lot of good comes from zooming in.

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The Five Monkeys Experiment

This is a short story based on an actual experiment involving rhesus monkeys. The story demonstrates the tendency for people to do things a certain way simply because “that’s the way we’ve always done them”. Sometimes it’s worth taking a step back and asking if a system is being continued because it’s a good idea or because of cultural and historical momentum that nobody thinks (or dares) to challenge. The full post from which I got this story can be found here if you’d like to check it out.

An experimenter puts 5 monkeys in a large cage. High up at the top of the cage, well beyond the reach of the monkeys, is a bunch of bananas. Underneath the bananas is a ladder.

The monkeys immediately spot the bananas and one begins to climb the ladder. As he does, however, the experimenter sprays him with a stream of cold water. Then, he proceeds to spray each of the other monkeys.

The monkey on the ladder scrambles off. And all 5 sit for a time on the floor, wet, cold, and bewildered. Soon, though, the temptation of the bananas is too great, and another monkey begins to climb the ladder. Again, the experimenter sprays the ambitious monkey with cold water and all the other monkeys as well. When a third monkey tries to climb the ladder, the other monkeys, wanting to avoid the cold spray, pull him off the ladder and beat him.

Now one monkey is removed and a new monkey is introduced to the cage. Spotting the bananas, he naively begins to climb the ladder. The other monkeys pull him off and beat him.

Here’s where it gets interesting. The experimenter removes a second one of the original monkeys from the cage and replaces him with a new monkey. Again, the new monkey begins to climb the ladder and, again, the other monkeys pull him off and beat him – including the monkey who had never been sprayed.

By the end of the experiment, none of the original monkeys were left and yet, despite none of them ever experiencing the cold, wet, spray, they had all learned never to try and go for the bananas.

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My First Float in a Sensory Deprivation Tank

Last night, I floated for the first time in a sensory deprivation tank. This is an enclosed tub full of salt water and magnesium that suspends you effortlessly in a dark, quiet place. I’ve known about them for most of my life but never thought about trying one until recently. I’m so glad I did. Here’s an overview of my experience and takeaways from it.

I got there half an hour before my appointment. The guy who works there showed me where I’d be floating and explained the process to me. After he set up the lights, music, and tub, he went back out front and I started getting ready. I finished showering about the same time the tub finished filling, so I put in my earplugs, pulled the lid shut, and started floating. I’d never floated effortlessly before then, so that took some getting used to. It was such a new sensation for me that I actually laughed as I sat back and started floating (I had many other moments of genuine, joyous laughter both in and out of the tub). The lights and music stayed on for five minutes before slowly fading out. At that point, there were no external distractions, no responsibilities, and no schedule to keep. Just me and my thoughts.

Once I fully relaxed, I felt no negativity whatsoever. The only emotions I felt in the tub were joy and happiness. I felt very safe, comfortable, and at ease in there. The water was kept at a constant temperature, so I didn’t notice it much. This made it easy to settle in and watch my thoughts. Except for focusing on my breath and repositioning myself when I bumped into the side, I didn’t try to control the experience or feel a certain way. I did my best to just relax and go along with whatever came up. Even when I got a bit of salt and magnesium in my eye a few times, I just wiped it out with a towel and spray bottle of fresh water they provided and went right back to floating without letting it affect me negatively.

This was like getting an hour to talk to my higher self without interruption. I got a lot of insights into my life and things I can do differently or better. Some of these included not taking things personally, being thankful instead of complaining, looking for peace with others instead of conflict, honoring the people around me and my life situation, accepting whatever comes my way instead of resisting it, being true to myself rather than acting how I think other people want me to act, relaxing, not being too serious, and the way floating could change the world if everyone experienced it. Perhaps the most interesting insight that I had was an answer to the question “What’s on the other side of fear and pain?” The answer I had heard before was “Nothing”, but my answer is a little different: “Nothing but freedom”. These insights came easily and without any effort on my part, which I credit to the fact that all I could do in there was float and enjoy the experience.

After I got used to being in the tub, it felt like I had been in there my whole life. I lost my sense of self and awareness of my life outside the tub several times, and time also lost all relevance. I think that this is as close as we can get to being back inside the womb. If that’s true, then I can see why babies are so upset after being born: I wanted to stay in there forever, I was sad when it ended, and, even though the lights started out on a low setting when they gradually came back on, they still blinded me. And I felt so heavy when I got out, as if I had been free from gravity in there. I’m light for a guy my age and I exercise regularly (in addition to having a very physically-demanding job), but I still struggled as I walked toward the shower. When I finished showering and getting dressed, I talked about my experience with the guy who set it up for me; while I did this, I also had some tea, relaxed in a massage chair, wrote down some of my thoughts, and just enjoyed the feeling of being while in a state of deep tranquility and joy.

Floating in a sensory deprivation tank was one of the most wonderful experiences of my life. I’ve been meditating regularly since 2018 and this was like meditation times ten. I can think of only a handful of moments during which I was as relaxed as I was in the tub. Additionally, I started relaxing much more quickly in the tub than in any of those other moments of deep relaxation. When I got out, I intentionally avoided using my phone (with the exception of taking a picture). It was easy to avoid surfing the internet and checking social media since I had no desire to do so. Normally I have trouble staying away from that stuff for more than twenty minutes, but last night I avoided it for several hours. I think I was able to do that because I felt so good that I wanted to just marinate in that feeling without getting sucked into something else and I wanted to avoid seeing anything negative on my newsfeed. Whatever the reason, I’m glad I took some time away. I felt amazing for the rest of the night, which was a pleasant surprise. If you have never floated before, please do yourself a favor and try it out. Your experience will probably be different in some ways than mine, but I’m sure you’ll get whatever you need out of it and I think you’ll enjoy it. If you do try it, please let me know. I’d love to hear about it.

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What Is This, Some Kind of Joke?

This is a little joke that makes me laugh and I wanted to share it with you. I hope you enjoy it as well.

A man is rescued from a desert island after 20 years. The news media, amazed at this feat of survival, ask him to show them his home.

“How did you survive? How did you keep sane?” they ask him, as he shows them around the small island.
“I had my faith. My faith kept me strong. Come.” He leads them to a small glen, where stands an opulent church, made entirely from palm fronds, coconut shells and woven grass. The news cameras take pictures of everything – even a prayer book made from banana leaves and written in octopus ink. “This took me five years to complete.”
“Amazing! And what did you do for the next fifteen years?”
“Come with me.” He leads them around to the far side of the island. There, in a shady grove, is an even more beautiful church. “This one took me twelve years to complete!”
“But sir” asks the reporter, “Why did you build two churches?”
“This is the church I attend. That other place? Hah! I wouldn’t set foot in there if you PAID me!”


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Leaders vs Bosses

Image result for boss vs leader

A leader shows the path forward by walking it ahead of everyone else. If a leader asks you to follow a certain plan of action, you can be sure that he’s already tried it out himself and made sure it will work because a leader will never ask anyone to do something that he isn’t willing to do himself. When things are going crazy and everyone is working their hardest, the leader is right there with them in the trenches. A leader is always asking for input as he knows that having participation from those around him increases the chances for success and leads to better relationships and interactions. A leader respects those around him and always acknowledges their humanity. A leader will point out great qualities in you and work with you to develop them so that you can live your best life.

A boss saves the work he dislikes the most for other people. During times of great stress, a boss will retreat and leave everyone else alone to fight their hardest battles. When a boss tells you to do something differently than you normally do it, he’s most likely using you as a test subject to see if this new plan works; even if it doesn’t work, he’ll probably tell you to keep doing it that way. A boss thinks he knows best and has nothing to gain from listening to someone else’s ideas, so he doesn’t even bother asking for input in the first place. A boss has little to no respect for those around him and sees them as workers to be ordered around. A boss only looks at the qualities in you that will benefit him and focuses solely on bringing them out for his own benefit.

I’ve had a lot of experience with bosses and a little experience with leaders. The two could not be more different. Being around leaders is inspiring, energizing, and refreshing; being around bosses is depressing, frustrating, and demoralizing. Naturally, I much prefer to spend time with leaders and feel much better after being around them for even a short time. Simply watching them has taught me a lot about effectively communicating and interacting with other people, and reading their works (or works about them) has taught me even more. I’m fortunate that I’ve met and gotten to know increasingly more wonderful leaders over time and I plan to keep learning from them as I continue to grow into the person I want to be.

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Tribute to Books

Books allow us to communicate our ideas through time and space. We can read books written hundreds or even thousands of years before we were born. Almost like having a conversation with those writers with whom our paths otherwise would never have crossed. And we can write books that will be read by people born hundreds or thousands of years after our deaths so they too can have a conversation with us. We can only talk to so many people during our lives, and books allow us to talk to exponentially more after we’re gone.

Books enrich our knowledge and our creativity by exposing us to new ideas and new information. From this we can improve our world by producing more art, coming up with better ways of helping one another, and understanding different perspectives so we can see each other as friends instead of enemies. The power of books is made evident not just by those who enjoy them, but by those who attempt to destroy them. Tyrannical despots who burn books that contain the keys to the chains that bind people in ignorance and in fear. They try to preserve their power to keep people in the dark by snuffing out the lights that lead to freedom.

But the greater danger than those who would burn books is those who never read them. Those who bind us in chains have no need to keep the keys away from us if we neither know nor care we’re enslaved. The challenge lies in reaching out to the distracted, the busy, the depressed, and the indifferent and showing them that there is another way. But we can’t force it on them. Only they can decide to free themselves from their shackles and get to the light. All we can do is offer them a bit of the light we have seen and hope they will join us. And as long as there are those who read books, hope will never die.

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