I Changed My Mind

Posted on April 5, 2019 by admin

I started this blog with the goal of monetizing it. I’ve always had tons of ideas and, since I love to read, I figured I could work out a deal with online book sellers in which I could make money by promoting some of my favorite books. Once I got the blog up and running, I focused first on creating content (because how can I monetize a blog with no posts?) and determined I’d work on making money later. That has since changed.

As I went along putting one post up after another, I began to realize how much I enjoy sharing my thoughts on the stuff that has changed my life for the better and seeing others benefit from it as well. The constant writing, in addition to making me a better writer, also improved my ability to think clearly and articulate my ideas more easily and comfortably than ever before; it’s also made me more bold in expressing myself even when someone may reject me or my ideas. And having this blog has played a major role in getting me to a better position in a few key areas. I’ve never made any money through this blog and yet it has still added so much value to my life.

With all of this in mind, I’ve decided not to monetize my blog after all. I love the freedom to write about whatever I want without trying to please sponsors or hope I can get enough traffic to generate sufficient income for the month. I actually have no idea how many people frequent my blog or what types of posts they prefer, and that’s ok with me. Since I’m doing this for fun and not for money, I can talk about what I want, make the blog look how I want it to look, and do what I want with it without being concerned what others think about it. If it ends up being a stepping stone to a whole new place in life for me, that’s awesome. But even if this blog “only” serves as a repository for my ideas so that I and others can benefit from them, then I’ll be perfectly content and consider it to be worth the effort.

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The Importance of Having Good Friends

Posted on April 4, 2019 by admin

I think a great deal of credit for the progress I’ve made in the past few years is due to the people I’m most often around. As I’ve mentioned before, one of my high school principals said this at my graduation: “Your friends are like elevators. They will either take you up or they will bring you down.” It’s easy to speak, act, and even think similarly to those I see on a regular basis, and I’ve been blessed in that I often get to hang out with some incredible people.

Several friends I see regularly are either entrepreneurs or are working towards running their own businesses. As a result, I’ve learned a number of things about business and finances just by listening to them and asking them questions. Spending time around them has made me more motivated to become an entrepreneur and has given me some useful information about how to get there.

There are also a few people I know whose ideas about life and life plans are quite similar to mine. Talking to them about this stuff without having to explain where I’m coming from or having them think I’m crazy is refreshing. It also helps me remember what I’ve been learning and allows me to figure more things out while we talk, which makes it easier to reproduce my findings in these blog posts. Many of my posts have come from conversations with close friends or from books they’ve recommended, so I have them to thank for a good bit of the content on this website.

I’m no stranger to the idea that being around people with similar goals helps you achieve yours. In addition to my high school principal talking about this, Jordan Peterson also discusses the importance of having quality friends in his book 12 Rules for Life. “Make friends with people who want the best for you” is the chapter in which he examines how much our friends impact us and determine where we go in life. Despite being familiar with this notion, however, I didn’t know how true it is until recently when I realized how much of a positive impact my friends have had on me, including but not limited to helping me with the following: staying out of trouble, growing as a person, developing good habits, getting through difficult times, and moving closer to where I want to be in life. I’m thankful for my friends and everything they’ve helped me with, and I look forward to enjoying their company for many more years to come.

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Moving On

Posted on April 3, 2019 by admin

It’s sad to watch things slowly decline over time. Businesses that once offered stellar customer service and no longer do, teams that long ago ceased to operate like well-oiled machines, great relationships that have now grown cold and tired, and realizing that your perspective on improving an organization is neither valued nor wanted. These changes can be so gradual that their effects go unseen at first, perhaps even for years. Eventually, however, it becomes clear that something is wrong and must be fixed. Once this happens, without immediate and often drastic action to make things as they should be at every level, the negative changes will only continue to accumulate and create more problems. The difficult part is doing your best to fix those problems, especially when there are a number of things that are beyond your control. It becomes heartbreaking when you realize that all your efforts were for naught and you’d be better off looking for something else.

This is where you’re faced with a choice: continue trying to change this situation into how you’d like it to be or find something else that is already like that. If you have any hope of salvaging your current situation, you’ll probably stay there until your hope is completely depleted or you learn of something else that is much better in comparison. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom and seeing that this situation will only continue getting worse before you decide to look for a way out. It can be difficult to leave, especially if you’ve grown close to the people you met there and have invested a lot of time trying to fix problems. But if you’re burning yourself out trying to make a difference and it’s clear that you can’t, then it’s time to go.

Getting out of a bad situation and into a good one is the best thing you can do for yourself. It may also be just what the other people there need. If you’ve been going around and constantly fixing the mistakes of others, they have no incentive to do better because you’ll always be there to save them. But if you’re not there anymore, they’ll have to take responsibility and be more careful. And if some of them have been sticking around just because you’re there, then your absence might give them the incentive they need to leave and find something better for themselves. Either way, you’ll no longer be burdened with all the problems of that situation. You’ll be free to pursue something better and more in line with your values and interests. And you’ll be able to do much more good there than you ever could in a bad situation.

I’ve been doing this for a while now and it’s dramatically improved my life. Even though I’m not completely out of the woods yet, I’m much happier and better off overall than I was before I started this. There were many things I was able to do immediately, and others that involved waiting for the right moment; once I knew that the time was right, I jumped at my opportunity. No matter where you are in life and how your situation looks, you can always do something to put yourself in a better position. The more areas of life in which you can do this, the more satisfying, fulfilling, and joyous your life will be. I’m finding this out for myself and loving every minute of it. I wish you all the best and hope you find something that works for you.

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“The Secret to Happiness”

Posted on April 2, 2019 by admin

This is a short story from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. I love how Coelho uses it to encourage us to keep the important things in mind while still enjoying life. Without further ado, here’s the short story.

“A certain shopkeeper sent his son to learn about the secret of happiness from the wisest man in the world. The lad wandered through the desert for forty days, and finally came upon a beautiful castle, high atop a mountain. It was there that the wise man lived.

Rather than finding a saintly man though, our hero, on entering the main room of the castle, saw a hive of activity: tradesmen came and went, people were conversing in the corners, a small orchestra was playing soft music, and there was a table covered with platters of the most delicious food in that part of the world.The wise man conversed with everyone, and the boy had to wait for two hours before it was his turn to be given the man’s attention.

The wise man listened attentively to the boy’s explanation of why he had come, but told him that he didn’t time just then to explain the secret of happiness. He suggested that the boy look around the palace and return in two hours.

“Meanwhile I want to ask you do do something,” said the wise man, handing the boy a teaspoon that held two drops of oil. ‘As you wander around, carry this spoon with you without allowing the oil to spill.”

The boy began climbing and descending the many stairways of the palace, keeping his eyes fixed on the spoon. After two hours, he returned to the room where the wise man was.

“Well,” asked the wise man, “did you see the Persian tapestries that are hanging in my dining hall? Did you see the garden that it took the master gardener ten years to create? Did you notice the beautiful parchments in my library?”

The boy was embarrassed, and confessed that he had observed nothing. His only concern had been not to spill the oil that the wise man had entrusted to him.

“Then go back and observe the marvels of my world,” said the wise man. “You cannot trust a man if you don’t know his house.”

Relieved, the boy picked up the spoon and returned to his exploration of the palace, this time observing all of the works of art on the ceilings and the walls. He saw the gardens, the mountains all around him, the beauty of the flowers, and the taste with which everything had been selected. Upon returning to the wise man, he related in detail everything he had seen.

“But where are the drops of oil I entrusted to you?” asked the wise man. Looking down at the spoon he held, the boy saw that the oil was gone.

“Well, there is only one piece of advice I can give you.” said the wisest of wise men. “The secret of happiness is to see all the marvels of the world, and never to forget the drops of oil on the spoon.”

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April Fool’s Day Fun

Posted on April 1, 2019 by admin

That was a fun post, wasn’t it?

It’s April Fool’s Day, the day of pranks, confusion, laughs, and increased skepticism. Rather than post something shocking or upsetting as some people like to do, I thought I’d simply make a fun, bizarre post. Unlike most of my posts, this one follows no consistent pattern or logic and is intended simply to be entertaining.

.etisbew taht fo rotaerc eht rof ton fi si ti sa gnisuma sa eb t’ndluow tsop siht dna ti tuohtiw tsol neeb evah d’I .did yeht dalg m’I tub ,ti did yeht woh ro aedi siht htiw pu emac ohw wonk t’nod I .reisae tol elohw a boj ym edam hcihw ,txet eht retla ylisae ot em dewolla etisbew a ,yletanutroF .tsop siht htiw od ot detnaw I tahw fo kniht ot gnol em ekat t’ndid tI

┴ɥᴉs dɐɹɐƃɹɐdɥ ᴉs ɯosʇlʎ ᴉuʇǝupǝp ɐs ɟᴉllǝɹ ʇo pǝɯousʇɹɐʇǝ ɐuoʇɥǝɹ ǝɟɟǝɔʇ˙ I pᴉpu,ʇ ɥɐʌǝ ɯnɔɥ ǝlsǝ ʇo sɐʎ qnʇ I ʍɐuʇǝp ʇo sɥoʍ ʍɥɐʇ ǝlsǝ ɔɐu qǝ pouǝ ʍᴉʇɥ ʇɥǝ ɥǝld oɟ ʇɥɐʇ ʍǝqsᴉʇǝ˙ dɐnsǝs So˙˙˙ ɥoʍ,ʌǝ ʎon qǝǝu¿ פoʇ ɐuʎ qᴉƃ dlɐus ɟoɹ ∀dɹᴉl Ⅎool,s pɐʎ¿ ɔɹᴉɔʞǝʇs ┴ɥᴉs ᴉs ɐʍʞʍɐɹp˙

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post and that it’s given you a fun little diversion. And, if you’re planning to pull any pranks today, I hope they’re lighthearted and enjoyable for the prankster, the prankee, and the onlookers alike. Thank you for reading this and Happy April Fool’s Day to you.

Now, let’s start the post.

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Changes

Posted on March 31, 2019 by admin

Transitioning from one place in life to another can be scary, even if the new situation is far better than the old one. There is a great deal of uncertainty involved with not knowing if it’ll work out. If the change involves learning something new, then getting a feel for that and building effective routines around it will take time and come with some frustration and mistakes. And the thing that may be hardest of all is saying goodbye to the people you’ve come to know if they’re staying where they are while you move on. I suspect that the pain caused by parting with close friends is what keeps many people in a situation they’ve long since outgrown.

As difficult as change can be, it’s sometimes necessary and can lead to some wonderful things. For example, how many people slave away at jobs they hate and feel like they’re dying a little on the inside every day? Then when they clock out, they feel worse than before they went in and either try desperately to make themselves feel alive again by going all out after work or go home while dreading the thought of getting up the next day and doing it all again. Many people see this as inevitable in the modern age, but it doesn’t have to be this way.

It’s quite possible for you to get to a better place, a place that will provide you with more opportunities for growth, success, and fulfillment. What’s more, you’ll feel better at the end of the day than you did at the beginning because you’ll love what you do and enjoy spending time with the people around you. Each new day will be filled with a sense of wonder and joy, and you’ll be glad you chose to make the changes that made this possible. That’s how some people already live. They chose to follow their dreams and figured out how to make them come true, and this allows them to do things that most people think are impossible. They probably had a lot of difficulty getting to that position, and they undoubtedly experience a lot of fear along the way. But they kept going because they wanted something different out of life and were willing to risk everything to get where they wanted to be. Right now these people are the exception, but I think they may someday be the norm. So many ideas about how life works are falling apart and that opens up a lot of possibilities for different ways of living life. While I don’t know what the future holds for all of us, I’m looking forward to finding out and enjoying the ride along the way.

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Review of Boundaries

Posted on March 30, 2019 by admin

I just finished reading Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. The book is all about setting and maintaining limits in interactions with other people. The authors explore many different scenarios in which a lack of appropriate boundaries causes a wide array of problems and offer suggestions on solving those boundary problems.

Much of the book discusses the importance of letting people face the consequences of their behavior. Those who can’t say no often intervene to prevent something bad from happening to irresponsible people, such as regularly covering for a lazy boss. When they do, they’re not preventing those consequences from happening; all they’re doing is taking them onto their plate and encouraging the other person to continue their irresponsible behavior. The solution is to recognize where your responsibilities begin and end and to stop allowing yourself to be exploited for the gain of others. Once people are allowed to face the consequences of their actions, they will begin making the necessary changes and those who used to cover for them will no longer get burnt out by shouldering more responsibility than they’re meant to carry.

As important as it is to establish boundaries, the authors are very clear that this is hardly an easy process. Undoing years of habits, thought patterns, and behavior that’s been ingrained by your early influences (especially family members) is an arduous journey. The authors repeatedly encourage having a support group where you can confide, practice setting boundaries, and draw strength to make changes in your life. Event then, they recommend taking it slow and starting by saying “no” to small things before moving onto bigger matters. There will be some bumps along the way as you confront people about their behavior and what you will no longer tolerate from them, but these will smooth out over time as you maintain your boundaries.

As you work on setting boundaries, you may have to temporarily distance yourself from those who continually try to infringe upon your boundaries. This lets them know that their behavior is unacceptable to you and they must change if they wish to continue interacting with you. If they still continue to disrespect you in this way, it may be best for both of you to say goodbye to them and let them work out their own issues. This is how boundaries reveal problems in relationships rather than causing them; those problems would still be there even if you didn’t attempt to set boundaries, but setting boundaries brings them into the light where they can be clearly seen and fixed.

Boundaries was one of the most mind-blowing books I’ve ever read. Most of the books I’ve read have been enjoyable and helpful, but there have only been a few that I’d put on the same level as this one. So much of what the authors said explained why I or someone else acted in a certain way and why many of the same problems have come up repeatedly throughout my life. This also resulted in some sadness and anger on my part as I recalled difficult times from my life and thought about them with regards to the information in the book. I feel like this initial reading has already dramatically improved my life by making me more comfortable around other people and better able to create (and maintain) appropriate boundaries. And, although the authors frequently mention the Bible and base much of their work on some of its passages, I think their insights and recommendations can work for anyone. Those who aren’t interested in the Bible will probably still benefit by reading Boundaries and incorporating its ideas into their life. So if any of this interests you, I highly recommend getting the book. I’m sure it will help you gain more peace and freedom in your life, just as it’s done for me.

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Turning off the Noise

Posted on March 29, 2019 by admin

There’s so much commotion and noise in modern life. So many people are stressed and suffering because they feel like they always have to be doing something. Even when they get opportunities to relax, they can’t turn it off and end up worrying about their business, family, health, or future. And there are some people who never even give themselves a chance to slow down or stop.

This is common in relationships as well. Silence is seen as strange, unusual, and uncomfortable, so most people try to avoid it. This leads to countless interactions where every moment is filled with words, forced laughter, or another kind of sound. It’s so common for people to respond as soon as someone else is finished speaking instead of taking some time to think about what they’ve said and formulating a genuine response. In a world that longs for connection, these shallow exchanges leave everyone feeling more distant and disconnected from each other.

How did this happen? How did so many people become so busy all the time? With so much going on nowadays, there’s a tremendous need (perhaps greater than there’s ever been before) to pause and be present in the moment, but it seems that so few people make time to do that. Whatever the cause, this isn’t sustainable. Being constantly on the go and constantly stressed leads to burnout, heart attacks, insufficient sleep, shorter lives, and reduced quality of life. Even if someone does arrive at where they want to be in life through continuously working and grinding away, they won’t be able to enjoy it if they’re still in the mindset of always looking toward the next task and never stopping to live in the present. There are much better ways to live. Fortunately, more people appear to be realizing this and moving toward quieter lives that involve a lot of self-care. They’re showing that it’s quite possible to be successful while still caring for oneself and getting enough rest. I hope that this becomes the norm rather than the exception, and I think it will.

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Life Spirals

Posted on March 28, 2019 by admin
Related image

Take a look at that spiral. What do you notice about it? Most notably, it gets wider toward the top. This is consistent with the life path I’m on: I’ve found that the higher I climb in the spiral, the more opportunities open up. Learning new things, meeting people with similar interests, continuously improving at a variety of skills, and getting better at integrating all of this has lead me to some wonderful things. I could see some of these things and envision many more of them long before I started spiraling up, and it’s exciting to finally be experiencing them as I go.

Of course, this is looking at the spiral from one point of view. Looking at it another way, the spiral gets narrower as you go toward the bottom. I was once on a different life path that was taking me down into the spiral. Fortunately I didn’t go as low as I could have, but I would have eventually gotten there if I had kept going down that path. There are fewer opportunities down there, which makes it a lot harder for those close to the bottom to get out, and it’s much harder to stay motivated because not much light is visible down there. It’s also easier to spiral down because spiraling up takes repeated effort and practice at things that will build you up, while spiraling down requires none of that. This causes someone spiraling down to get tossed around like a ship adrift at sea. Without a bigger purpose or plan, it becomes almost impossible to not lose all sense of meaning in life and become hopeless.

Both spiraling up and spiraling down can start with small, seemingly insignificant actions. One bad decision usually isn’t enough to ruin your life, however, just as one good decision is unlikely to catapult you to the top. But it still pays to make good decisions and avoid bad ones as often as possible. Whatever types of decisions you most commonly make become habits and ultimately pave your life path, and that determines whether you spiral up or spiral down. Having been on both types of paths, I highly recommend spiraling up. I started spiraling up by making a few simple decisions: cleaning my room, reading every day, and meditating regularly. Those got me onto my current life path and pointed me toward all kinds of incredible opportunities. It’s only gotten easier to make good decisions and develop solid routines since then, and if this strategy can work for me, it can work for anyone.

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Multitasking

Posted on March 27, 2019 by admin

Contrary to popular belief, humans are incapable of truly multitasking. We can switch quickly between two tasks, but we can’t fully focus on more than one thing at a time. The people who appear to succeed at multitasking are really just quite good at quickly and smoothly switching between two tasks. Or, in some cases, they’re devoting their full attention to one activity and letting their muscle memory handle the other (such as someone who can juggle while riding a unicycle). Even though true multitasking is beyond our capabilities, I’ve still found ways to work on multiple things at once.

Something that’s pretty easy and well within the capability of most people nowadays is listening to a podcast or audio book while driving around. If I spend twenty five minutes on my commute to work, that’s nearly an hour almost every day that I could be using to introduce myself to new ideas or remind myself of old ones. Add in mealtimes and that brings my time for passive education up to at least two hours on most days. I don’t always do this, but I’m able to cover a good bit of ground when I choose to do so.

An even easier approach is to devote my full attention to one task while I have another one churning away in the background. For example, sometimes I’ll start a load of laundry before going to they gym. Although I have to put in the clothes and choose the proper settings, the machine does most of the work for me after that and I don’t have to be anywhere near it while it is working. This works with any task that can be either partially or totally automated.

Coming close to multitasking by finding tasks that don’t require my total concentration or involvement has allowed me to make good use of my time and get more things done than I otherwise could. This also lets me avoid the trouble that attempts at genuine multitasking can cause. So as long as I make sure to focus on things that are worth doing and not try to fill my day with tasks just for the sake of being busy, I’ll be in good shape moving forward.

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