In some NASCAR races, the cars are fitted with restrictor plates to reduce the amount of air coming into the engines. This, in turn, reduces the power of the cars, limits how quickly they can accelerate, and prevents them from going as fast as they otherwise could. Restrictor plates are often used in bigger races where cars can easily get above 200 mph, such as the Daytona 500. The intention behind restrictor plate usage is to make the races safer and reduce the chances of crashes.
I realized some time ago that I’ve put restrictor plates in myself over the years in response to being berated, judged, intimidated, or even hit after expressing thoughts that others didn’t like. As a result, I learned to refrain from sharing certain thoughts, say what I thought others wanted me to say instead of what I actually thought, and censor myself in many other ways. Writing has been very cathartic and liberating for me because I have much more courage to express myself through the written word than I do through the spoken word. Writing is especially helpful when I’m sharing controversial ideas or if talking with someone whom I’m sure will disagree with me (although I’m often wrong in guessing who will dislike what I say and who will like it).
I’ve been working for a while now on removing my restrictor plates. In the process, I’m rediscovering the courage and confidence to express myself that I had when I was a little kid. I’m gradually relearning how to be myself and speak my mind without fear of what others will think, say, or do in response. Although I’ve been at this for just over a month at the time of this writing, I feel like I’ve made fairly quick progress due to my dedication. Working at this every day and finding the handful of life hacks that have made the biggest difference for me (floating, a variation of Wim Hof breathing, meditation, practicing gratitude, and using what I’ve learned from Letting Go) has made me feel much more like myself and made me far more comfortable around other people than I was before I started doing consistent inner work. It’s made me more talkative, more at ease when sharing my thoughts, better at listening, and has even affected my voice in a few positive ways. That’s what I’ve found thus far. I’ll let you know what else I find as I keep working on myself.