Doing the Opposite

“The Opposite” is an episode of Seinfeld in which George Costanza finally catches a break. Figuring his instincts have continually lead him to make bad choices, George tries doing the opposite of everything he would normally do and finds tremendous success in the process. He gets a job with the New York Yankees, moves out of his parents’ house, starts dating again, and experiences many other benefits as a result of ignoring his instincts. Despite his success in this episode, he abandoned this technique later on and went back to getting sub-par results.

In one part of this video, Jason Alexander (the actor who played George) says that he knows people who have benefited from doing the opposite of what their instincts tell them to do. I’m not usually one to take advice from sitcoms, but I think there is some real value here. After all, my life has gotten much better ever since I started changing a lot of my habits and routines. I haven’t ignored all of my instincts, especially since some of them have changed as I’ve practiced what I’ve been learning. However, much of my success has come from doing the opposite of what I’ve done for most of my life.

Even though I haven’t regularly watched TV in years, I used to watch a lot of Seinfeld as it was one of my favorite shows. I recently went back to watching some clips from the show on YouTube, and that’s when I started thinking about “The Opposite”. Seinfeld isn’t as popular as it was during its original run, but it still has a lot of fans that should remember George’s approach in this episode and might benefit from trying some variation of it. I try to keep this in mind whenever I’m in a challenging situation and it’s worked pretty well for me. I think it’s worth a try if you’re not where you want to be in life, and you can always try something else if it doesn’t work for you.

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“Three Rolls and a Pretzel”

This is a short story written by Leo Tolstoy. I first read this when I was a little kid and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. I’ll share some of my thoughts on it afterward:

Feeling hungry one day, a peasant bought himself a large roll and ate it. But he was still hungry, so he bought another roll and ate it. Still hungry, he bought a third roll and ate it. When the three rolls failed to satisfy his hunger, he bought some pretzels. After eating one pretzel, he no longer felt hungry.

Suddenly he clapped his hand to his head and cried:
“What a fool I am! Why did I waste all those rolls? I ought to have eaten a pretzel in the first place!”

Something that struck me when I recently thought about this story is how it relates to achievements. Just as the peasant didn’t consider how the rolls helped satisfy his hunger before he ate the pretzel, so too do some people not consider the advantages (whether they worked to develop them or were born into them) that got them to a certain place in life. They might overlook something small (or even something big) they’ve done and fail to realize how it’s benefited them. Like the peasant, they can attribute their success to one particular moment while ignoring everything that lead up to that moment. Whatever they did in that moment may have been critical to their success, but by itself it’s insufficient; without the groundwork they laid prior to that moment, they wouldn’t have accomplished what they set out to do.

While I try to avoid dwelling on the past, I also remind myself every so often of what I did to get where I am now. That gives me some ideas for what to do when I’m lacking direction and keeps me motivated to continue along this positive life path. I’ll remember this stuff whenever I think about this story from now on. I don’t even know how I got the idea for this analysis of the story, but I’m glad I did. It’s going to help me a lot and I hope it helps you as well.

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Knowing What the Future Holds

Few things are as strange to me as when someone says “that’s just the way it is, and that’s the way it’ll always be”. Things may be a certain way now, but who says they have to be this way, or that that’s how they’ll always be? We have so many amazing things going for us right now because some people didn’t like the way things were and did what they could to make them better. These people, many of whom did what others in their time considered impossible, gave us cars, antibiotics, computers, phones, and a myriad of life-saving and labor-saving devices. Where would we be if they listened to their contemporaries and gave up?

I do think it’s important to recognize the way the world is before trying to change it into what it could be. Whoever wants to improve the world will then know where to start, how much work there is to do in so many areas, and that they’re in for a long, slow process. That way, they won’t give up early on because they’ll know that it’ll be difficult and time consuming. However, I also think that it’s important to avoid assuming that there are no other options for how the world could look than how it currently looks or how it looked in the past. I’ve done this when when I’ve been in bad moods, had a recent negative experience, or had a rough day; when I felt better later, my sense of optimism for the future returned. So, even though I’ve lost this optimistic viewpoint for short periods of time, it’s never completely left me.

Most of the people who have told me that one of my ideas “will never happen” or is “crazy” haven’t given me any reason as to why they think that. Granted, they may be right. It’s entirely possible that I may be wrong and that my idea won’t work, especially if it’s something that’s never been tried before. In most of the conversations like this that I’ve been in, though, I don’t think that the other person has closely examined what I’m saying and used logic to figure out whether or not it will succeed. They typically act as if they automatically *know*, without doing any research to see if anyone has already done what I’m proposing or taking even a minute to think about what I’ve said, that my idea is doomed to fail. Why is that?

What I think is happening here is the same thing I wrote about in one of my first blog posts: their intuition has caused them to lean toward a particular point of view (possibly because it fits in with their worldview, sense of identity/self, or desired outcome for the future) and then they look for any reason that my idea might fail while ignoring any reason that it might work. And, before I continue, this is how my brain works as well. It’s how everyone operates according to Jonathan Haidt in The Righteous Mind and Daniel Kahneman in Thinking, Fast and Slow. Reason exists not to make decisions but to rationalize decisions made by emotion and intuition. I can watch this happening within myself if I’m calm, focused, and present. On rare occasions, it feels like I can even sidestep it and think differently. Whenever I get emotional, however, I forget all about this process. I can recall many times in which I did exactly what I described in the previous paragraph when someone else told me one of their ideas. So if I’m pointing fingers at others, I’m pointing even more fingers back at myself, in this post and in the many others I’ve made about my shortcomings.

As I’ve learned more about the world, my understanding of how much I don’t know has grown tremendously. I’m always learning more about subjects with which I’m familiar and I’m finding out fairly that there are many subjects that I’ve never even heard of until recently. There is so much out there that I don’t even know how much I don’t know. I’ve become more sure than ever before of some things and less sure of others, and I’m always looking to learn more. This has been an incredibly humbling journey for me and I’m grateful for all that I’ve learned on it. Among other things, it’s helped me avoid arguing with other people because I’m now more aware than ever before that someone with whom I’m speaking may have access to a lot of information on a subject that I don’t even know exists. It’s also taught me more about myself and helped me better navigate my life as a result; it’s now much easier for me to move toward fulfilling and meaningful things and steer clear of unnecessary trouble. I don’t know what the future holds but I know how I want it to look, and I think I have a good chance of making it happen. And if I’m wrong, I’ll still enjoy the journey.

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Some Thoughts on Habits

Charles Duhigg’s The Power of Habit is one of the best and most practical books I’ve ever read. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the ways habits affect our lives, both for better and for worse. I’d like to explore some of that in this blog post.

We develop habits for simple things that we do regularly so we can save our energy and brainpower for things that require more thought and attention. Because practice makes permanent, we tend to fall into repeated, predictable behavior patterns in which we do the same things the same way over time. In this regard, good habits can be incredibly beneficial by letting us get things done quickly, effectively, and efficiently. However, bad habits can be destructive, especially when we accumulate a lot of them. One bad habit doesn’t necessarily spell immediate doom, but it can start us down a path that causes a lot of problems for us and those close to us. Having one bad habit makes it easier to develop more bad habits, and that’s where things can really take a turn for the worst.

Once an organization becomes set in its ways, it tends to continue in whatever direction it’s moving without any real deviations from its trajectory. If it’s going in a positive direction, it will grow and prosper over time. Good habits are essential for continual improvement, and one of the most important habits is recognizing bad habits and fixing them as soon as possible. It’s much easier to develop good habits initially than it is to change bad habits into good ones. Likewise, fixing bad habits before they’ve had much time to cause a lot of problems is better than waiting until they’ve become deeply ingrained and created a giant mess. Organizations that continually improve at things worth doing while also eliminating the bad stuff and the stuff that is no longer practical (a process economists call creative destruction) stand a much better chance of succeeding than those who allow bad habits to run rampant.

The negative consequences of bad habits can be temporarily avoided or hidden but will eventually reveal themselves and bring destruction with them. It doesn’t matter how long an organization has been around or how well it’s done financially. At some point, an organization with a lot of bad habits will find it impossible to change or or even identify everything it’s doing wrong; the time and money required to find and fix all of its problems will be seen as too large a cost to bear, although the cost of avoiding this is much greater even if those running the organization don’t recognize it at the time (which they usually don’t, especially if they’re in a position such that they benefit in the short run from those problems or can’t see the problems, or both). Incredible organizations, including game-changing businesses and nonprofit groups, have collapsed due to gradually accumulating an excessive amount of bad habits and never fixing them. They’re usually then surpassed by newer organizations that practice many of the same good habits that once took the old organizations to their former places of prominence. These newer organizations can avoid a similar fate if they learn from the mistakes of their predecessors and keep themselves in order from the start.

Unworkable systems eventually collapse, and with that collapse comes the opportunity to create a new, better system. This applies to both organizations and individuals, and I’d say it’s even more important for individuals to develop and practice good habits while simultaneously avoiding bad habits. An organization is composed of individuals, so if those individuals are in a good place, the organization will tend to reflect that; the same is true for organizations with individuals who are in a bad place. I know a lot about how this applies to individuals since I used to have a lot of bad habits in every area of my life. These bad habits either directly created trouble in my existing situations or moved me toward troublesome situations. Either way, they made many of my situations worse and cost me a lot of good things, including inner peace. However, it wasn’t until I went through the hardest times of my life that I saw how much I needed to change. After I had been through so much and felt so utterly defeated, I found the motivation I needed to wipe the slate clean and start over.

As painful as that season of my life was, there are few things about it for which I’m grateful: it could have been far more painful than it was, it started me on my current path, and remembering all the pain it caused me makes me continue practicing good habits and avoiding my past bad habits. I still have some bad habits that I’m working on correcting, but nowhere near as many as I once had. The changes I’ve made since last year have given me some astounding results. I often find myself marveling at how much better things are for me now than they were for most of my life. I think things are only going to get better from here, including my ability to share information about changing habits that I’ve found useful with other people and help them get to much better places in their own lives. That’s my biggest goal in life and I look forward to continue seeing it unfold in a number of ways.

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My Lovely Day

This past Wednesday felt like a perfect day to me. Everything went smoothly, I had plenty of time to myself, and I got to move at my own pace through one enjoyable activity after another. Here are the highlights from that wonderful day.

I started off by going to work at my new job. Although I got there early in the morning (for me it was early), the day was slow enough and easy enough that I still felt like I had the day off after I left. There were no major issues or anything else to cause me stress, which was a very nice change of pace. It also helped that I got off work in the afternoon and had the whole rest of the day to spend as I liked. Then I floated and probably dozed off a few times in the pod. That was just what I needed to feel refreshed and get in a good mindset for the rest of my day. After that, I grabbed some food and stopped by the bank before going to see Avengers: Endgame. I got there shortly before the scheduled time and took advantage of the half-hour’s worth of previews and ads to get ready before the movie started. And, if you’ve read my review of it, you know I loved it and consider the movie, along with my float, to be the best things I did that day. Once the movie ended, I went home to spend some time with my dog, eat dinner, unicycle, and do a few more things before going to bed.

I realized that I was thoroughly enjoying my day after I left the bank. I was in a fantastic mood from my float, had just eaten a nice lunch, was excited for the movie, and I knew I’d still have a few hours after that to continue enjoying my day. Everything was easy that day and it felt like a day off since I had so much time to myself. I also realized that I’m probably going to have even more lovely days like this moving forward. I’ve already learned a lot about how to live a satisfying and rewarding life and I’ll only learn more and do more to make it a reality in the days and years to come, and that is an amazing place to be in right now.

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Review of Avengers: Endgame

I recently saw Avengers: Endgame and thought it was incredible. I was well prepared for it since I’ve seen every movie leading up to it at least once and was familiar with all the elements from those movies that came together in this one. If you haven’t seen Avengers: Infinity War or the rest of the MCU movies, please don’t read any further as this post contains massive spoilers for many of those movies. I’m serious. Don’t do it. A huge moment in this movie was spoiled for me and I don’t want to spoil any of it for you. Please do your homework before reading this review. You’ve been warned.

The movie starts off-

Seriously, watch this movie and all the other MCU movies before reading this, ok? You’ll be glad you did.

The movie starts off on the same planet where we last saw Thanos at the end of Avengers: Infinity War. Having completed his mission, he has retired to live in solitude as a simple farmer. We see him work out in the field, plant and harvest crops, and prepare his meals in peace. Initially satisfied at what he’s done, Thanos gradually begins to doubt his actions. This doubt grows stronger whenever he looks at a picture of Gamora; his regret over killing her soon becomes overwhelming. He spends a few days contemplating his decisions (which, in movie time, takes just under 3 hours) and finally realizes that he wants a do-over. He then gathers his strength, takes a deep breath, and snaps back into existence everyone he killed. The credits roll as everyone reunites with their lost loved ones and Thanos sets out to bring back Gamora.

Ok, that’s not really how the movie went. I wanted to include a fake summary of the plot as a joke and to make sure that no actual spoilers are visible to someone who clicked on this post by mistake and doesn’t want to know what happens before they watch the movie. If that’s you, this is your last chance to turn back. For those who have seen the movie and are still with me, here we go.

The movie starts off with Hawkeye, who is spending time with his family while still on house arrest for his role in Captain America: Civil War. Suddenly, his family is turned to dust by Thanos’s snap, an act that makes Hawkeye himself snap and go on a killing spree around the world. We then see that Iron Man and Nebula are stuck in space. Their supplies are dangerously low and Iron Man is close to dying when Captain Marvel shows up and carries their ship back to Earth. They meet up with the remaining Avengers, get everyone up to speed, and locate Thanos on a distant planet. When they arrive, they’re surprised to find him living in solitude as a farmer. Enraged that Thanos has destroyed the Infinity Stones and ruined their chance to undo his damage, Thor chops off Thanos’s head, killing him instantly.

Five years later, everyone is doing their best to move on. Captain America leads a counseling-type group for survivors of the snap, Iron Man has had a daughter with Pepper Potts, Thor has retired to the new home of the surviving Asgardians in Norway, and Black Widow is coordinating rescue missions with the active Avengers while also grieving over Hawkeye’s murderous actions. Ant-Man’s old van is stuck in storage when a rat activates the quantum tunnel and frees him from the quantum realm. Due to the wild chaos and unpredictability of the quantum realm, Ant-Man felt like he was only stuck in there for five hours instead of five years. He wanders around incredibly confused as he slowly pieces together what happened and reunites with his daughter, who is now a teenager instead of a little girl. Eventually, Ant-Man reaches the Avengers compound and works out a plan with the others: they’ll use the quantum realm to travel back in time, collect past versions of the Infinity Stones to bring back everyone Thanos killed, and then return them to their proper points in time. Iron Man, who is finally enjoying a peaceful family life, turns down their request for help. One night, however, he figures out a way to make the time travel work and decides to participate in the hopes of giving everyone back what they lost. Black Widow manages to convince Hawkeye to reunite with the team and he proves instrumental in making sure the equipment works as it should.

Once the Avengers have a workable plan, they suit up and take off to get the Infinity Stones. This takes us to some familiar scenes as several of the previous movies are revisited from different perspectives. Iron Man, Ant-Man, and Captain America head to the Battle of New York from The Avengers in 2012 to get the Space Stone, Mind Stone, and Time Stone. Their plan goes awry when Loki from 2012 gets his hands on the Tesseract (containing the Space Stone) and teleports away. Iron Man and Captain America then decide to go to a SHIELD base in New Jersey in 1970 (featuring a cameo from Stan Lee) since both the Tesseract and Hank Pym were at the base at that time; Iron Man gets the Tesseract while meeting up with his father (who didn’t recognize him since Iron Man wasn’t born yet) while Captain America gets more Pym Particles, which are the things that allow them to travel through time. Still in 2012, Hulk begs the Ancient One to give him the Time Stone. She refuses, stating that her reality would be destroyed if she gave it up. When Hulk tells her that Doctor Strange willingly gave Thanos the Time Stone, however, she changes her mind; she figures that Strange, who in Hulk’s time had become the Sorcerer Supreme, must have known what he was doing.

Meanwhile, Thor and Rocket go back to Asgard in 2013 (as seen in Thor: The Dark World) to get the Reality Stone, which was in the form of the Aether at that time, from Jane. Thor has an emotional reunion with his mother, who died later that day. During their visit, she gives him the closure and confidence he needs to complete his mission and get him out of the deep depression he had been stuck in ever since he killed Thanos. After Rocket gets the Aether, Thor grabs his hammer and they return home.

Black Widow and Hawkeye jet off to Vormir to get the Soul Stone in 2014 as Thanos did in Avengers: Infinity War. This time, Black Widow sacrifices herself so Hawkeye can be reunited with his family. Also in 2014, War Machine and Nebula head to Morag to get the Power Stone, knocking out Starlord from the first dance scene in Guardians of the Galaxy along the way. War Machine jumps back to the present but Nebula gets stuck; her network syncs up with her past self, and the 2014 Thanos finds out everything that happens leading up to their time travel plan. Present Nebula is captured and held prisoner on Thanos’s ship; 2014 Nebula then disguises herself as Present Nebula and uses Pym Particles to bring Thanos’s ship to the present.

Everyone successfully returns with their Infinity Stones except for Black Widow. The others are devastated by her loss and spend some time mourning her before continuing their plan. Iron Man builds a new gauntlet to contain the Stones and Hulk, figuring himself to be the strongest Avenger, puts it on. Initially overwhelmed by the sheer power the gauntlet possesses, Hulk manages to withstand the strain and undoes Thanos’s snap with a snap of his own. Immediately afterward, the compound is ambushed by massive fire from Thanos’s ship. Most of the Avengers are split up or incapacitated as Thanos sends his team to retrieve gauntlet. Iron Man, Captain America, and a reinvigorated Thor wielding both Mjolnir (hammer) and Stormbreaker (axe) attack Thanos while the others try to regroup. When Thanos is close to killing Thor, Captain America picks up Mjolnir and pummels Thanos with it. Hawkeye successfully keeps the gauntlet away from some of Thanos’s forces only to give it to 2014 Nebula, mistaking her for Present Nebula. Present Nebula and 2014 Gamora arrive and Present Nebula kills 2014 Nebula before things escalate any further.

All seems lost for the Avengers: the ones who fought Thanos after the ambush were savagely beaten, a few others are close to drowning, and the rest are off in some other part of the universe. Just when it looks like Thanos and his army are going to win again, a bunch of portals open up. Doctor Strange, Spider-man, Falcon, Wasp, Pepper Potts in an Iron Man suit, Scarlet Witch, the other Guardians, Black Panther, the Winter Soldier, Wakandans, Asgardians, Ravagers, and sorcerers all show up with massive armies of their own. Hulk, War Machine, and Ant-Man (now in his Giant Man form) burst out of the compound rubble, and Captain Marvel comes rocketing in, destroying Thanos’s ship in the process. Still wielding Mjolnir and the remains of his now-broken shield, Captain America leads the way in the most epic battle the MCU has ever seen. Nearly every major character and many side characters team up and they bring the pain. Team Avengers is so effective at demolishing Team Thanos that Wasp and Ant-Man have time to reactivate the quantum tunnel in the hopes of sending the Infinity Stones back to their proper points in time. But just before Captain Marvel can get in there with the gauntlet, Thanos destroys the tunnel and fights a series of the strongest Avengers for control of the Infinity Stones. He is unable to overpower Captain Marvel on his own but grabs the Power Stone and incapacitates her with a massive blow. Just before Thanos can snap the present universe out of existence and replace it with a completely new one, Iron Man grabs the Stones from the gauntlet and puts them in his suit. With one snap, Iron Man turns Thanos’s entire army to dust, with Thanos unable to do anything except sit down and realize the weight of his loss as he watches everyone and everything on his side fade away before he too turns to dust.

Overjoyed at their victory, the Avengers are also devastated by their losses. The most recent loss was Iron Man, who was overpowered by the Infinity Stones and died shortly after he snapped. Everyone holds a funeral for him while the camera pans over all the surviving main characters, including Nick Fury. Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch comfort each other over their losses (Black Widow and Vision, respectively), Happy Hogan comforts Iron Man’s daughter, nearly every family that was separated is reunited, and Captain America heads back in time to replace the Infinity Stones. Hulk, Falcon, and the Winter Soldier are concerned when he doesn’t return, but then they notice an elderly man sitting on a bench by the water. This is Captain America, who decided to stay in 1945, get married to Peggy Carter, and live happily ever after with her. He gives Falcon a new shield and the mantle of Captain America. The movie then cuts to Steve Rogers and Peggy dancing in the past before smiling at each other and kissing. Their song, “It’s Been a Long, Long Time”, continues playing as the credits roll.

One of my favorite moments from the movie was seeing Captain America wield Thor’s hammer against Thanos. This was teased in Avengers: Age of Ultron but then Mjolnir was destroyed in Thor: Ragnarok, so I thought we’d never see it. The filmmakers came through, however, and gave us one of the absolute best Captain America scenes in any of those movies. The only one of his moments that I liked more than that was the very end when we see him enjoy his happy life with Peggy. Captain America is one of my two favorite Avengers and seeing him get what he wanted for so long made me cry.

On the subject of favorite movie moments, I loved seeing all those portals open up and everyone who had been snapped out of existence come back for the final fight. That fight was almost too good; there was so much going on that it was often hard to keep track of who was doing what and what was happening. Remember the airport fight scene in Captain America: Civil War? This scene was way bigger, had way more at stake, and had way more to follow. Where the airport scene was awesome in large part for its comedy, this scene was awesome in large part for its intensity. When it comes to action scenes as well as movies in general, I don’t know how Marvel could top themselves after this. However, I’ve said that many times after seeing their previous movies and they’ve somehow managed to continually up the ante. I’m looking forward to seeing what they do with their future projects and what path they decide to take.

Stan Lee’s cameo, which consisted of him in 1970 driving by the SHIELD base and saying “Make love, not war”, gave me mixed feelings. On the positive side, I always like seeing Stan Lee in these movies, especially when they find an especially creative or funny way to include him. I’ve heard that this is his final film cameo, which is quite sad to think about and perhaps gave me a bit more appreciation for his short but sweet scene. Plus I like the message behind his line. On the negative side, there are several other cameos I enjoyed a lot more than this one. My favorite was the revelation in Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2 that his character is the Watcher, which explains why he’s always popping up in different times and different worlds. I also liked his cameos in Captain Marvel, Captain America: Civil War, and Avengers: Age of Ultron more than I liked his cameo in this movie. For his final cameo, I would have like to see something stronger, funnier, or more poignant, or all of the above. Also, I was one of many Marvel fans who hoped that they would include a scene somewhere in one of these movies of Stan Lee wielding Thor’s hammer, such as this clip from a Lego version of Avengers: Age of Ultron. Since he died in November of last year and, to my knowledge, no such scene was ever shot, I don’t think we’ll ever get to see it, and that’s incredibly disappointing to me. I don’t know why they wouldn’t do that since it couldn’t possibly cost that much or take much time to shoot, and the fans would love it. But, getting back to his cameo in this movie, I liked seeing him one final time and thought the cameo was neat enough.

I thought they handled the deaths of Iron Man and Black Widow tastefully and with good closure. Black Widow felt like she was finally getting her chance to make amends for all the red in her ledger and make peace with herself. Iron Man had slowly grown from an egocentric weapons manufacturer to a true hero over the course of all these movies. Both characters had undergone tremendous personal growth from their first appearances and become much better versions of themselves who felt like real people with dimension and complexity. And the fact that Black Widow’s sacrifice gave them the Soul Stone and Iron Man’s sacrifice gave them the final victory makes their deaths in this movie all the more meaningful and saddening, as if we were saying goodbye to old friends.

Even before the movie ended, I was wondering where 2012 Loki went after he grabbed the Tesseract. Except for a short scene where Ant-Man and Iron Man tell Captain America that Loki got away, I don’t remember any of the characters mentioning him again, and I don’t think we saw him for the rest of the movie. He could have appeared briefly without my noticing him or been disguised as someone else. This would fit in nicely with his mischievous, trickster persona. If he did make such an appearance, I’m not aware of it, and I have no idea at the time of this writing what happened to 2012 Loki. Maybe I’ll find out later on.

Avengers: Endgame felt like a massive movie to me. Several characters we’ve known and loved for years either died or retired, some major plot threads and character arcs came in for a solid landing, and the 3-hour running time gave us plenty of time to enjoy these characters and see them at their best. Some people may complain about the length of the movie, but I thought it was overall well-paced and I’ll take whatever time I can get with these characters, especially since some appear to be gone for good now. I also enjoyed all the little throwbacks to previous movies. Since I’ve seen all of them, I understood those references and appreciated how smoothly the filmmakers worked them in. Watching the movie on the big screen reminded me of just how epic these movies can be when done right, and they get this one right. I loved the movie and I look forward to watching it many more times, but only when I’m emotionally ready for it since it took me on quite a ride.

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The Book I’m Writing

I mentioned once that I’m writing a book. This isn’t the first book I’ve started writing, but it’s the only one I’ve continued to work on and I think it’ll be the first one (of many, I hope) that I’ll publish. The book will be a compilation of stories detailing how I’ve used life hacks to make a better and freer life for myself.

I’ve divided the book into four main sections, each of which focuses on one particular subject: mental freedom, financial freedom, time freedom, and obtaining freedom. Mental freedom explores such subjects as mindfulness, presence, inner peace, self-awareness, emotions, and dealing with your thoughts. Financial freedom talks about making money without having a job, developing passive income, being able to make money while traveling or living in remote locations, and overall being in control of money rather than it controlling you. In the section about time freedom, I discuss ways to free up large amounts of time to spend as you like, managing time your effectively, being able to pursue your passions, and getting to spend a lot of time with the people you love. The final section, obtaining freedom, looks at how to develop a plan to move from where you are to where you want to be. Each subject overlaps with the others, so there are a few recurring themes and explorations of the same concepts from different angles. This fits in with my view that freedom is holistic and is strongest when every concept is present and properly integrated.

There are some things that I’ll have to experience firsthand before I can write about them with any authority (such as most of the financial freedom stuff), but there is a lot that I already know a decent amount about at this point (a good bit of the stuff about mental freedom, time freedom, and obtaining freedom). I want the book to be a helpful resource to anyone looking to improve their lives, so I’m doing my best to fill it with useful information that is organized such that it’s easy to find. That is why I’ve also included a recommended reading section for the books that have helped me create the life of my dreams.

Working on the book has benefited me a lot in several ways. Having all this information together in one place helps me remember to use life hacks regularly in my own life, see the connections between these ideas, and think of new posts for my blog. It also shows me where I’ve made good progress and where I still have a lot to learn. Additionally, since I’ve spent many blog posts talking about this stuff, I copied and pasted a lot of them into the Microsoft Word document that I’m using to keep track of everything. Having those posts available has saved me a lot of time and a lot of work, although I still have a lot of work to do as far as editing them, changing some things, and moving them around to their proper places. There is some stuff I’ve written for the book that I haven’t yet talked about on my blog, but it’ll probably make an appearance at some point. I don’t know when the book will be ready for publishing, but I’m off to a good start with it and I work on it whenever I think of something to add or edit. I love working on it and I always get excited when I think about the impact it’ll have when it’s published. This is one of several ways I plan to give back by sharing what I’ve learned with the world and I’m loving every minute of watching it unfold.

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Time Management: Efficiency vs Effectiveness

In a past post, I talked about the importance of time management. Something I’ve thought about since then is that efficient time management is sometimes less important than effective time management. I’ll explain what I mean in the remainder of this post.

When I think of efficient time management, I think of someone who works nonstop from dawn to dusk. I remember days I’ve had like this, days where I didn’t have a spare minute from the time I woke up to the time I went to bed. My time management was as efficient as it’s ever been on those days because I had no time to waste. Those were also some of the most exhausting days of my life and I’m glad they’re behind me. In contrast, when I think of effective time management, I think of arranging my day such that I can keep my commitments and still have plenty of free time to spend as I like, which includes relaxing and enjoying the still moments. My down time isn’t efficient from the standpoint of getting as much done as possible, but it is effective in the sense that it refreshes me and I can enjoy it at my own pace. Essentially, I like to be efficient with my time in some areas so that I can be inefficient with it in other areas.

Here’s an example that nicely captures my thoughts on this. Someone once told me about a guy they knew (probably in college) who set up his classes in a very specific way: he spent all day in class for a few days and then had four straight days to surf. He found a way to free up a lot of time to do what he loved while still keeping up with his responsibilities. I don’t know what he was like as a person since I never met him, but I suspect that he spent his surfing days relaxing, living in the moment, and taking it easy. If so, then his story is a perfect example of maximizing time efficiency in one area and minimizing it in another area. I do things a bit differently since, as I mentioned in the previous paragraph, I prefer to not be busy working all day without much of a break. However, like the guy in that story, I try to get my tasks done quickly and properly whenever I have an obligation to fulfill (such as when I’m at work) so that I can soon be free to pursue my own interests. I also do this with the things I’ve committed myself to completing every day on my own time. Further, it’s important that I do things the right way rather than just focusing on working fast; if I have to do them again because I rushed through them the first time, that at the very least doubles my workload and gives me a lot less free time. So from an efficiency perspective, it’s actually better to take a little more time to do things right than to do them sloppily due to working too fast.

I’ve been familiar the distinction between efficient time management and effective time management, but it wasn’t until recently that I really thought it through and fleshed out my perspective. This is one of several areas in which I practiced something without consciously realizing exactly what I was doing. Whenever I have one of these realizations, I like to write it out and share it with others. That helps me remember it and use it regularly and makes it available for anyone who might also benefit from it. I hope you’ve found this interesting and helpful for managing your time, and I will see you next time.

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Creating the Life of My Dreams

This is an exciting time for me. I’ve been slowly building a better life for myself and I’m now seeing a lot of incredible things come to fruition. Here are some steps I’ve taken to get to this point.

Perhaps the most important thing I’ve done is to keep my sights set high. It’d be easy to settle for something ordinary and “safe”, especially with all the challenges and emotional issues I’ve had. However, I chose instead to dream big and then chase after those dreams with everything I’ve got. Knowing where I want to go has allowed me to work backwards and develop a plan to get there, and working on that plan a bit each day has both taken me closer to my goal and put me into a great present life situation. I’m sure that I wouldn’t be where I’m at now if I had opted for a more conventional path, so I’m glad that I dreamed bigger than that.

In the previous paragraph, I mentioned another critically important thing: working hard to get what I want. I’ll never get where I want to be if I don’t work for it. A lot of the work has been extremely hard for me; I lost track of the number of times I felt like I was stuck or regressing, and there were a few occasions in which I nearly completely abandoned my self-improvement journey. Somehow, though, I always stuck it out, and now I get to enjoy the fruits of my labor. And as I continue moving up in life, I look forward to seeing the increasing benefits of my hard work and the application of the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

Of course, I’ve had a lot of help in getting to this position. I’ve gotten a lot of ideas and life hacks from reading as much as I can on a number of subjects. Since there are people who have already done some of the things I want to do, it helps to read their stories and see what worked for them. Everyone has their own way of doing things and some highly successful people have strategies that are completely different than those of other people in similar positions. By reading a lot of books and absorbing many different perspectives on the same subjects, I can get an idea of what’s out there and what might work well for me, my plans, and my situation. Plus reading a lot of ideas from a lot of different people gives me a much lower chance of becoming a blind follower of any one person or philosophy. I try to find some value in as many places as I can while also keeping in mind that nobody has all the answers, a practice that has served me well since I started it.

Lastly, I’ve used my free time (and occasionally some time I’ve requested off from work) to explore my corner of the world, see what’s out there, and make myself into the person I’ve always wanted to be. Among other things, this includes trying a lot of different things, traveling to several places (some new to me and others I’ve visited before), and regularly doing fun things with cool people around me. Saving money, effectively managing my time, and getting my priorities straight has allowed me to do all of this. While I’m in the middle of something, I try my best to quiet my mind and be present in the moment. This includes avoiding thoughts such as “I have to go back to work in a few days” or “This will be over soon”. It’s easy to avoid those kinds of thoughts when I’m in the middle of an engaging activity but it’s much more difficult when I’m doing nothing. However, it’s in those moments of doing nothing that this exercise is most valuable. Enjoying the feeling of being free to relax without letting outside distractions creep in gives me a glimpse of how my life will be when I can do this all the time. And making good use of the time I have now has gotten me much closer to where I want to be in life.

I’ve slowly put all of this together over the past year and now I’ve developed a routine that has continually made my life better. It took a long time to get in the groove because I initially just stumbled into this stuff and had never done anything like this before, so I had to tread water for a while until I started to get the hang of it. I’m still amazed when I think of all the positive progress I’ve made in such a short time. Last year was much better for me than the previous year, and this year has been even better than last year. Now that I’ve learned a lot and know how to learn more useful self-improvement stuff, I think I’ll progress faster than I ever have before. I’m looking forward to the next chapter of my life and what adventures it has in store for me. I’m ready for them.

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Treasures and Trials

I’ve heard that when you get close to something you’ve wanted and worked toward for a long time, you’re met with a series of challenges and obstacles. Sometimes these also come after you get what you wanted. You might start second guessing yourself, wondering if you made a mistake, and fearing that it won’t work out. I’ve experienced all of that lately, so I’d like to talk a bit about it.

The Alchemist talks a lot about running into obstacles as you approach your goals, which is probably why I’ve had this in the back of my head since I read the book earlier this year. However, I suppose I’ve known about this concept since I first listened to The Power of Now back in 2017. Eckhart Tolle mentioned that our minds would still look for problems even if we were in paradise. I’ve thought about this quite a bit when I catch myself reacting with concern to my changing life situation. When that happens, I remind myself that this is what I wanted, think about how much I’m enjoying the journey, and try to live more in the present moment instead of dreading the future or longing for the past.

A big part of my struggle has come from entering new territory and not knowing which way is up anymore. Some things that were familiar (and sometimes comfortable) are going away and a lot of new things are taking their place. I’m sure I’ll get used to these changes soon enough, but the transition has been difficult. For example, I used to have two days off a week, but since I’ve been working two jobs for a while now, I went a few weeks straight with no days off. I wouldn’t have had any days off for about a month if I hadn’t taken some time off for Floor Divided, and my next day off won’t occur until I leave my old job next week. All of this means that I’ve had to shift a lot of things around in my schedule, make sure I have plenty of time to recharge, and go easy on myself by saying no to some things I would have liked to do. Although it’s been difficult at times, it’s been well worth it.

As I’ve faced these challenges, I’ve tried to keep in mind that they’re temporary parts of my journey. The challenges often feel like tests designed to see if really want what I’ve been pursuing. I’m better able to handle them when I think about them this way, especially if I start as soon as I first notice the challenges appear. Remembering the treasures to be found on the other side of the trials keeps me motivated to continue until I’ve made it to my destination. If what I’ve found so far is any indication of what’s to come, then I’m so glad I started down this path and I’m excited to continue sharing what I find along the way.

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