I’ve been thinking a bit lately about human nature. Even though I haven’t directed much conscious thought at this subject in the past few years, I have spent a lot of time analyzing related subjects. That analysis appears to have gradually formed my current perspective on human nature without much conscious involvement from me. It wasn’t until Wednesday that I began to realize how much I have to say on this subject and decided to explore my thoughts in this blog post.
There are disagreements about the source of human nature. Some people say that it’s entirely a matter of how we’re raised, others say that it’s solely about our biology, and still others support a third perspective that combines the first two. I agree with that third perspective. There is a great deal that I’ve gotten from my parents, grandparents, and so on that has its origins in biology, such as my skin color and my poor eyesight. Outside of biology, a number of things, including my taste in music, views on a number of subjects, and speaking style, have originated from or were heavily influenced by my upbringing. If I had been born to the same family but raised in a very different environment, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Likewise, I’d be a very different person if I had been raised in the same environment by a different family. So I think it’s a combination of nature and nurture that determines who we become.
The way I see it at this point is that human nature is simply a set of habits that each person builds from certain ways of thinking and acting to which they’ve become accustomed. These habits, when shared by a lot of people living in a given area, form a culture, and that culture does a lot to sustain the values and ways of life (whether positive or negative) for the people who share it. Different cultures have different traditions, with some overlapping in many ways and others that are quite different. A common feature of all cultures, though, is that they often make it difficult for the people in them to imagine another way of life, which can create and maintain the illusion that however people act in any given observer’s culture is how all people everywhere have always acted and always will act.
I try to avoid making sweeping statements about human nature, such as saying that we all have the same nature, since I’ve long held the perspective that everyone is a unique individual and something that accurately describes one person may be a totally inaccurate description of another person. For example, some people seek to hurt while others seek to heal. How could this be if we all have the same nature? I think the notion that human nature is one-size-fits-all could work if everyone possessed different degrees of the same values (such as one person who is a bit generous and another person who is incredibly generous), but, given that some people can have values which are the exact opposite of other people’s values, I think it quickly falls apart. As such, I think human nature is more malleable, variable, and specific to each individual person than it’s often thought to be.
However, there are certain common behaviors that seem to transcend cultures, upbringings, and nearly everything else that divides us. We tend to prefer situations that provide us with a feeling of well-being over situations that make us feel uncomfortable. We also behave differently depending on what situations we enter; some people become more quiet and reserved in highly social settings while others become more energetic and outgoing. We also tend to imitate the behavior of the most dominant person in the room and, over time, we become like the people with whom we most frequently interact. And we all behave differently in dangerous situations than we do in safe situations (or situations that we think are dangerous vs situations that we think are safe). As far as I’ve seen, these are some things that everyone appears to do, which suggests to me that they may be part of our true nature, if there is such a thing.
How much of this is due to upbringing and how much is biological? I have no idea. I don’t even know that for myself, and I know myself better than I know anyone else. I do think, though, that since we can change our habits and become accustomed to different ways of doing things, we all have some capacity to change our nature. This can be done to us or we can initiate it ourselves. An example of the former is a kind person who becomes cruel after being abused for decades, and an example of the latter is someone who decides to become a better person; I’ll focus on the latter example for the remainder of this post.
It’s entirely possible to heal from past pain and trauma and create new habits that vastly improve one’s quality of life. Lots of people have done this through therapy, meditation, psychedelic drugs, and other things that have helped them change their thoughts, words, and actions. I feel like I’ve changed a great deal of my nature in the past few years through personal development, meditation, floating, and mindfulness practice. I’ve accomplished a lot of this through reading about self-improvement in a number of books, most notably The Power of Habit and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. The latter book has been especially helpful because of Stephen Covey’s ideas about rescripting. So when someone says that human nature is a certain way and that we can’t change it, I can point to my own life as proof that it is malleable and can be changed. Changing my nature has been the hardest project I’ve ever worked on but it’s been well worth it, and I think my journey will only get better from here on out. I hope all of this makes sense and proves as valuable to you as it’s been for me.
