I remember reading a story from Tara Brach in Tools of Titans about how the Buddha dealt with Mara. In the story, Mara was a demon that tried to torment the Buddha by creating situations intended to cause him feelings of doubt, fear, anger, and other similar emotions. However, rather than try to send Mara away or resist him, the Buddha would simply say “I see you, Mara” and then invite him to tea. Upon Mara’s arrival, the Buddha would prepare tea and serve both of them before sitting down in peace. Mara eventually left without having succeeded in disturbing the Buddha, who would then resume his normal activities.
This story wonderfully illustrates the power of dissolving unwanted emotions, feelings, and thoughts by acknowledging them and then surrendering to them. In the process, you’ll discover that these things are far less substantial than they’re often made out to be; fully feeling into them from a calm, centered place reveals how weak they truly are. Being able to dissolve unwanted emotions by accepting them and not giving them any power over your life is a powerful practice that can give you a great deal of freedom.
I’m still working on surrendering to unwanted emotions, but already it’s made my life much better. I often practice it in small ways during the day. Sometimes I’ll start thinking about an unpleasant experience from my past and, rather than avoiding it, I’ll dive into it and relive it without trying to make myself feel any particular way. More often than not, this quickly makes the memory lose its potency and I soon forget about it. I’d rather do that than try to suppress and bury unpleasant thoughts, which is something I’ve done for most of my life. I hope this has been helpful for you and that you can find some relief from unwanted emotions by acknowledging them and inviting them to tea.