Self-Reflection and Looking in the Mirror

Posted on July 24, 2019 by admin

One of the things I love the most about floating is that it often shows me what I can do better. Getting rid of all external distractions and resting in a calm, comfortable place where I feel safe makes me more open to suggestions, including ones that come from my higher self. When I’ve been in the pod long enough to fully relax into the experience, that’s usually when I start thinking of an area where I can make some improvements. My resistance is practically nonexistent at that point, so it’s extremely easy to accept whatever happens in there, even if it means addressing something that I’ve been actively avoiding in my regular life.

Floating and meditation are two activities that hold up a mirror and show me what aspects of my life need attention. It’s difficult for me to recognize these when I’m around other people since my emotions can run rampant in those situations and prevent me from acting effectively. When I’m alone, it’s easier to settle myself, see things more clearly, and commit to making positive changes. Solitude also affords me opportunities to develop plans for avoiding stressful situations and successfully navigating them if I can’t avoid them.

Everyone should set aside some time at least once a week for self-reflection. Doing some light daily self-reflection and deeper work once or twice a week has worked wonders for me. It’s drastically enhanced my ability to manage my emotions and live at peace with myself, which has, in turn, made all of my relationships better. This week in particular has been wonderful as far as my general mood and interactions with other people are concerned. I think that’s due to the reminders I’ve given myself to pause, breathe, and surrender to whatever happens. These life hacks work well when I use them, so remembering to practice them is half the battle. Fortunately, all of this has steadily gotten easier and is starting to become second for me, and I’m extremely grateful for that.

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The Daily Stoic: “The Start-Up of You”

Posted on July 23, 2019 by admin

This is a great reminder from The Daily Stoic to spend a bit of time each day improving ourselves. It’s important not only for our own well-being but also for the projects and ventures we undertake. All the self-improvement work I’ve done has made a huge positive difference in my life and has been well worth the struggle and pain that accompany this journey.

“But what does Socrates say? ‘Just as one person delights in improving his farm, and another his horse, so I delight in attending to my own improvement day by day.'”

–Epictetus, Discourses, 3.5.14

The rage these days is to start your own company – to be an entrepreneur. There is no question, building a business from scratch can be an immensely rewarding pursuit. It’s why people put their whole lives into doing it, working countless hours and taking countless risks.

But shouldn’t we be just as invested in building ourselves as we would be to any company?

Like a start-up, we begin as just an idea: we’re incubated, put out into the world where we develop slowly, and then, over time, we accumulate partners, employees, customers, investors, and wealth. Is it really so strange to treat your own life as seriously as you might treat an idea for a business? Which one really is the matter of life and death?

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Honesty and Straightforwardness

Posted on July 22, 2019 by admin

I’ve been in a lot of different circles in my life and have met at least a few dozen people in every one of them. As a result, I’ve had countless conversations about every subject under the sun. Something I’ve noticed is that many people have a tendency to speak in code. By that I mean they’ll say one thing when they really mean something else, and they’re expecting me to pick up on their actual meaning. I’ve never been good at that. For whatever reason, I have little to no skill in detecting a hidden meaning, translating it into plain speech, and then responding with another coded message. On the rare occasions that I’ve managed to do it successfully, I found it tiring and unsatisfying.

I tend to take people at face value and often don’t realize when they’re saying one thing but meaning something else entirely. As such, I strongly prefer talking to people who are straightforward and say exactly what they mean. I try to do that as much as I can in conversation, even if doing so makes someone else see me as strange or out of the loop. That’s happened on several occasions, but something interesting has also happened on other occasions when I’ve been direct and honest: the other person takes it in stride. On many occasions, I’ve admitted to not knowing about a subject that someone has raised or asked several times for them to speak up or restate what they’ve said. In those cases, the other people probably appreciated my honesty as well as my efforts to better understand them. At the very least, it’s prevented many misunderstandings and resulted in better conversations.

Whether my straightforwardness and honesty has encouraged other people to do the same or has simply arisen in conversations with people who already do that, I can’t say. But I do love those kinds of conversations and I prefer talking to people who also practice those habits. I think it would lead to less confusion, more opportunities to truly get to know each other, and greater harmony if more people were straightforward and honest in their communication. I appreciate the people who already do this and I hope more people make it a regular practice.

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Avoiding Resistance

Posted on July 21, 2019 by admin

Years ago, I watched a show that discussed a man who survived being sucked into a tornado and then thrown onto the ground. This clip briefly mentions that his body was limp at the time of impact; this was because he was knocked unconscious before the tornado picked him up, meaning that he wasn’t able to tense up or brace for impact. As a result, the impact was more evenly distributed over his body, which allowed him to survive and even walk away from that rough landing with no broken bones.

This same approach also works in difficult life situations. Whenever I put up a great deal of resistance to whatever is happening, I always feel worse and tend to make the situation worse as well. I become fixated on arriving at a certain outcome and get upset if things go in a different direction. In contrast, relaxing and surrendering makes me feel at ease and often produces a better outcome. This applies regardless of the type of situation I’m in or whether or not I’ve been in that position before.

As much as I’ve talked about the value of surrendering, I still struggle with putting it into practice. I can easily surrender to certain things at almost any time. With other things, though, I have trouble surrendering even when I’m feeling great, and it becomes almost impossible when I’m feeling bad. I’ve noticed this pattern for a long time now and it may tie into what I’ve heard about how we repeat lessons until we learn them. If that’s what is happening, then I hope I can learn this lesson soon so that I can move on to other things in life.

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Listen to Your Body

Posted on July 20, 2019 by admin

The last two days were polar opposites for me. I worked on Thursday and felt terrible for many hours after my shift ended. In contrast, I had yesterday off and felt great for most of the day. What caused the drastic difference? For the most part, it came down to listening to my body and giving it what it needed yesterday vs not doing that the day before.

I didn’t drink nearly enough water and went too long without eating on Thursday. This, combined with the large amount of interactions I had with other people that day and the tremendous stress I’ve felt for most of this week, took a lot out of me. After I clocked out, I stuck around for a while and talked with a coworker to help me settle down. I also skipped the gym and went home to rest and recover. This ended up being a much longer process than I’d anticipated as I spent most of the afternoon flat on my back with a bit of a headache and a feeling of nausea. Fortunately that was the worst it got. As I gradually got hydrated, ate a hearty meal, and continued to rest, I slowly felt more like my usual self. I was feeling good enough around 10:30 to unicycle without issue and I even did some chinups and stretched before bed. By the time I went to sleep, I had been feeling pretty good for a few hours.

The self-care I did Thursday evening got me off to a good start Friday morning. I woke up still feeling quite tired, so I reset my alarm and slept in a bit more. After that, I ate a good breakfast and then went in for a float. That was my second float this week and it helped relax me by eliminating most of my stress. I felt a bit hungry once my float ended so I got some food shortly thereafter. I drank a good bit of water and spent a lot of time by myself since being around other people starts to drain me after a while. As a result, I was able to unicycle around 8:30 and juggled about that same time as well. I finished off with a good dinner, wrote this post, read, did some chinups, and stretched before going to bed.

I often learn lessons the hard way and it looks like this was one of those times. Having one day in which I didn’t take proper care of myself followed by one in which I did communicated this message to me loudly and clearly. Now I can think back to these two days whenever I feel inclined to slack in my self-care, which I hope will help me avoid doing so. Please do yourself a favor and learn from my example so you don’t have to learn the hard way. Listen to your body and give it what it needs. If you’re thirsty, drink a lot of water. If you’re bursting with energy, stand up and move around for a while. And if you’re constantly feeling tired during the day, get more sleep. The better you care for yourself, the better you’ll feel and the more effectively you can live. Take care and I’ll see you in the next post.

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Logical Shortcomings

Posted on July 19, 2019 by admin

In a past post, I talked about some things I’ve learned regarding to reason and rationality. Books such as The Righteous Mind, Thinking, Fast and Slow, and Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion have shown me just how irrational and unreasonable we can be without even realizing it. It’s fairly easy to see this in other people but much harder to notice in oneself. I’ve gotten better at seeing it in myself since I’ve read a lot about this stuff and have spent a great deal of time watching my thoughts. However, I still often miss the irrational aspects of my own thinking, especially when I’m sick, tired, or emotional. I’d like to get better at seeing these things within myself and do what I can to foster better conversations, so here are ten examples of logical shortcomings and irrational tendencies that are best avoided.

  1. Focusing on sources that affirm a particular position and ignoring sources that contradict it
  2. Mistaking disagreements over how to best arrive at the end goal for disagreements about the end goal itself
  3. Thinking that because something was a certain way in the past or is still that way in the present, it will necessarily always be that way
  4. Over-simplifying complicated things and over-complicating simple things
  5. Asserting that something is impossible without checking to see if anyone has accomplished it or thinking of potential ways to do it
  6. Attacking someone for holding a particular position instead of refuting or disproving that position
  7. Misrepresenting someone’s ideas and criticizing that misrepresentation as if it’s an honest depiction of what they said
  8. Thinking that something is automatically true or automatically false simply because it comes from a certain source
  9. Changing the meaning of something by taking it out of context and leaving out important clarifying information
  10. Holding two people to different standards; excusing a particular behavior in one person while condemning it in the other
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Turning Points

Posted on July 18, 2019 by admin

Two days ago, I listened to this TED Talk from Greg Bryk on my way home from work. This was the second time I’d listened to it and the first time I’ve checked it out since I put some of Bryk’s ideas into practice. I first became aware of the talk before I started my self-improvement journey. Like most other useful things I found back then, I thought it was interesting and probably a good idea but I never did anything with it. Having seen how it’s positively impacted my life, listening to it again was wonderful.

In short, Bryk encourages you to think about the life you want to live and then become the person who can live that kind of life. He discovered this for himself through acting and becoming the characters he played, living as them both on and off stage. In the process, he realized that his dreams were different than the dreams some of his family members wanted him to pursue. Ultimately, he chose to follow his own dreams and live life on his own terms instead of someone else’s. This allowed him to be his own person and have many wonderful adventures that he might otherwise have missed.

I can think of several major turning points in my own life. On these occasions, I decided to go with what felt right for me even when it ran contrary to what someone else wanted me to do. Those decisions always took some courage to make and they involved venturing into unknown territory, but they did a lot of good for me. They allowed me to have experiences that greatly shaped my views of the world, introduced me to some wonderful people, and made me into the man I am today. What would have happened if I’d taken a more conventional path? All I can say for sure is that I would have continued to feel as if I were betraying myself by living the way others expected me to live instead of in a way that aligned with my ideas, values, and dreams. While the path I chose has been extremely difficult at times, it’s also been incredibly rewarding and I’m glad I chose it. I hope that you also choose a life path that aligns with your own values and leads to a life of fulfillment, satisfaction, and joy.

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Bold City Circuit House Show

Posted on July 17, 2019 by admin

On Saturday night, I went to a show hosted by Bold City Circuit in Jacksonville, Florida. Three musicians performed in someone’s living room and we all got to share an incredibly close, intimate experience. I figured that the evening would be enjoyable but I had no idea how wholesome and wonderful it would be until it began.

The musicians that performed were Liam Bauman, Taylor Raynor, and Leon Majcen. Throughout the night, they took turns performing both separately and together. Their talent, passion, and love for people and music shone brightly whenever they played or sang. Because we were in a living room, there was no need for microphones or massive sound systems. The simple setting created a very intimate atmosphere and fostered a deep feeling of connection that I’ve rarely experienced this strongly in a group setting. I felt compassion for and a connection to everyone in the room and saw all of them as beautiful, even the people I hadn’t met or seen before that night.

Before the show started, one of the hosts encouraged us to be present throughout the night, and that’s exactly what I did. I found it very easy to stay in the moment, get lost in the music, and appreciate everyone around me. Time lost all relevance and I enjoyed every peaceful moment. I went hours without checking the time, looking at my phone, or thinking about what I’d do later on. Even during the breaks, I still felt very present while socializing and soaking in the experience without caring about social media, the time, or anything outside of that house.

I didn’t expect all of this to happen. This was the first show of its kind for me, so I didn’t know how it would go. I thought it would just be a chance to hang out and listen to some nice music. I had no idea that I’d love it so much and find it so fulfilling. This was easily the best Saturday night I’ve had in a long time. Now that I’ve had this wonderful experience, I hope to go to many more living room shows. I highly recommend you do the same if you get the chance and, if you’re in or close to Jacksonville, check out Bold City Circuit. You’ll be glad you did.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson Joke

Posted on July 16, 2019 by admin

This is a funny little story about missing the obvious. It serves as an occasional reminder for me to keep things simple and avoid overthinking. I hope you get a chuckle out of it and maybe a bit of inspiration as well.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decided to go on a camping trip. After dinner, they settled down for the night and went to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied, “I see millions of stars.”

“What does that tell you?” Holmes asked.

Watson pondered for a minute.

“Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.”
“Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.”
“Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three.”
“Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant.”
“Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.”
“What does it tell you, Holmes?”

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: “Watson, you idiot. Someone has stolen our tent!”

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Magic Moments

Posted on July 15, 2019 by admin

These are some magic moments that I’ve been thinking about lately. They all come from being as present as possible and getting lost in the moment, whether alone or with someone else. If you think of any other magic moments, I’d love to hear them.

  1. Watching someone do what they love and seeing the passion on their face
  2. Listening to music slowly fade out as the song ends and the sounds around you gradually become audible again
  3. Sharing a genuine smile with someone and feeling that wonderful connection
  4. Being around someone who’s experiencing a joy so profound that they can’t put it into words
  5. Making eye contact with a friendly animal and feeling the love radiating from them
  6. Laughing so hard with another person that everything else fades away and only joy remains
  7. Watching the sunset at the end of a great day
  8. Being out in nature with no artificial lights or sounds to interfere with the experience
  9. Sharing a warm hug with a dear friend
  10. Seeing the look in someone’s eyes when they have a major breakthrough
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