The Tartt Take

Sometimes I feel like a broken record on this blog. There are a few subjects that I regularly write about, sometimes from different angles but often from the same angles. Communication is one of those subjects. I’m sure I’ve said the same things about communication in at least half a dozen posts. That’s because I see communication as one of the most important subjects there is: capable of doing so much good when used properly and responsible for so much harm when used poorly. I’ve seen both of these outcomes firsthand many times, which is why I’ve spent so much time working to improve my communication skills and striving to overcome the habits that have been in place for most of my life. Although I’m no communication expert, I still pass on what I’ve learned in the hopes that it will help others who also want to improve.

I grow weary from seeing so many people talk at or past each other. That seems so unnecessary and counterproductive to me. However, I can’t say that I don’t understand why it happens. I spent a lot of my free time for several years arguing with people online and trying to pound my point of view into their heads. Looking back on that time serves as a reminder to both keep my priorities in check and to be careful with my words. I almost feel like I had to go through that experience to get it out of my system and learn why it’s not worth it. Plus it showed me how formulaic and predictable exchanges can be, which has come in handy in some ways.

So many exchanges would benefit tremendously if everyone involved avoided using overly-simplistic rhetoric that serves to obscure understanding rather than facilitate it. Failing that, it would still help a lot if more people put aside the urge to be right, sought to understand each other, and looked past the rhetoric to see what is actually being said. Nobody has to agree with someone in order to understand them and their positions; all it takes is a willingness to learn how they see the world. And there’s nothing wrong with saying “I don’t know” or “I may be wrong”. In fact, the willingness to say both of those statements is how meaningful connections are made and growth occurs.

Meeting negativity with more negativity only makes matters worse and prevents us from living in a much better, kinder world. To get there requires understanding, empathy, and love. That’s what will allow us to put aside our differences, see our many similarities, and work together to solve whatever problems arise along the way. Daryl Davis has figured this out and gotten it down to a science. Plenty of other people have shared their communication secrets through books, speeches, articles, and videos. They’re well worth checking out and, if used properly, they can change the world for the better. I’ve studied a lot of them and worked to incorporate them into my everyday exchanges, and they’ve made all the difference. We all have the ability to choose our words carefully and, in so doing, make a little progress toward a better future. Or we can continue repeating the same mistakes that have been passed down through the ages and remain trapped in darkness. I know which course I’m going to take. How about you?