It’s been a little over a month now since I’ve been letting go consistently. I started doing it a little bit on my way back from my road trip. Even though I wasn’t using the full letting go technique, it still helped. Several weeks after that, I had almost gotten home after a particularly healing float when I had a realization in which I finally fully understood the technique. Before, I’d been letting emotions come up and sitting with them for a little bit before brushing them to the side when I’d had enough. That’s just another way to suppress emotions. The letting go technique as described in the book involves sitting with the emotions until they’re ready to leave and letting the energy behind them run out. Depending on the emotion and its strength, it can take anywhere from a few seconds to a few weeks (perhaps even longer) to fully let it go.
Since the night that I had that realization, I’ve been letting go properly every day. As I’ve gotten better at it, I’ve progressed from letting go just a few times a day to almost constantly surrendering whatever comes up, whether it’s a reaction to something going on around me or something from my past. For example, if someone cuts me off in traffic, I just sit with and surrender to whatever anger, frustration, aggression, or other similar emotions come up. That way I’m not overtaken by them and I’m also not burying them deep down where they can cause havoc later on in a variety of ways. By dealing with them as they come up, they disappear almost instantly. A lot of emotions from my past require more time. The more deep-seated the emotions and the longer I’ve held onto them (decades in some cases), the longer I have to sit with them. But the technique still works with any and all emotions. And man, does it work.
Since I’m close to surrendering constantly and also practicing gratitude whenever I feel the urge to complain, I’ve cleared out a lot of mental junk that’s been weighing me down for a long time. It’s gotten me into the state of flow, also known as wu wei. I’m now much better at taking life as it comes without resisting it. If there’s something I want to change, I fully accept whatever the situation is first and then I see what I can do to change it. I’m also much more compassionate for myself, both in present and in past situations. I know that I was always doing the best I could at the time in any given situation and I no longer blame myself for not doing things differently or for not starting the practice of letting go sooner (or not fully understanding it, or not practicing it for long after I first learned about it last year). This increased compassion for myself makes it easier to let go of resistance to feeling positive emotions. When I feel resistance to those emotions, I ask myself why I’m resisting them and if I’m willing to let them go. That usually does the trick. If it doesn’t, I will observe whatever is blocking the positive emotions and surrender those blocks so that the positivity can flow freely.
The sense of peace, joy, freedom, love, lightness, and happiness I’ve gotten from this is incredible. It was early last week that I made a real profound shift during and after another float: I had let go of enough stuff by that point to move onto the next level where I could be close to surrendering constantly. I’ve gotten glimpses of this state before and each glimpse was motivation to continue working toward making this my default state. Now I feel like I can make my home here. Recently I’ve had glimpses of even higher states and they are serving as motivation to work toward those levels of consciousness. I know I can get there by continuing to let go of that which doesn’t serve me and that doing so will make me feel better all the time as I move toward my highest good.
Getting rid of negative emotions makes room for positive emotions and allows me to enjoy my life much more, be more effective at whatever I do, and be more present wherever I am. It also helps me in my interactions with others. At this point, in addition to having a lot less anxiety in social situations, I’m much less concerned with what other people do. Whenever I find myself getting upset by what someone else has said or done, I use it as an opportunity to look inside myself and ask “What about this is upsetting to me?” Rather than let upsetting or triggering events overwhelm me or make me feel bad, I instead observe what I’m thinking and feeling in the moment and see what inside me needs to be healed. This way, looking at others is like looking into a mirror. It’s hard to directly examine my own behavior so taking this approach of seeing things to heal in myself through the actions of others is very helpful.
Additionally, when I look at other people now and see them behaving in a way that seems to come from a place of anger, fear, or another kind of pain, I have compassion for them. I often wonder what they’re struggling with that’s causing them to act that way; what it is inside them that remains to be healed and is hurting them so much. Even with people that I’ve butted heads with in the past and would rather not interact with at this point, I still find myself having compassion for them when I think about them or see them. Just as I’ve found a lot of peace, joy, and freedom from working through my own emotions, I hope that they can also find that same peace, joy, and freedom by working through whatever’s troubling them. These are concepts that I’ve understood for a long time on an intellectual level but didn’t actually feel on an emotional level until relatively recently. I see my increased compassion for both myself and for others as a sign that I’m making good progress and am moving in the right direction.
I’m less dependent on external conditions to make me feel good now that I’m much more capable of producing good feelings by myself. That itself has been incredibly freeing. In closing, I’ll say that whatever practice you find helpful, whether it’s letting go, practicing gratitude, visualizations, affirmations, or anything else, practice it constantly. The more you practice it, the better you’ll feel and the better off you’ll be. That’s what has made all the difference for me by allowing me to escape my emotional prison and experience the joy, peace, and beauty that comes with inner peace and freedom.