I can be pretty impatient with almost anything, especially self-improvement. Sometimes I’ll feel like I’m making no progress at all or actually regressing despite everything I’ve learned. What helps me during those moments is to think about moments of serendipity in my life. For example, the fact that I got Letting Go near the start of my most difficult season this year was a huge sign for me. It told me that, at this point, I can focus more on practicing what I know instead of always being on the lookout for the next big thing (although it’s still fine to learn new stuff as long as I don’t let that prevent me from using what I’ve already learned).
The farther along I get on this journey, the more I realize that part of the process is being patient and knowing that I’ll get to work on things when I’m ready for them. A common saying is that we learn to crawl before we learn to run, but there’s an example from my own life that resonates more strongly with me. The first time I tried to juggle while unicycling earlier this year, I managed to get it after a handful of attempts. However, that one successful attempt was years in the making. First I had to learn how to juggle, then I had to get good enough at juggling that I can keep the pattern going while focusing on other things (such as swing dancing, eating, or doing acroyoga. After that, I had to get good enough at unicycling that I could even attempt to juggle while going for a ride. A lot of practice went into learning each skill before I could even hope to combine them successfully; when I was ready to try them both together, it was fairly easy. I can’t imagine how much more difficult it would have been if I had tried doing both at once before I had a decent grip on either of them, so I’m glad I waited as long as I did.
There is great value in having information in mind so that I’m prepared to use it when the moment arrives. I don’t think I’d have gotten nearly as much out of floating as I have if I hadn’t been meditating regularly, reading great books, and generally committed to self-improvement well before my first float. Being familiar with analyzing myself, watching my thoughts, and looking for ways to improve myself allowed floating to be an incredibly useful tool that has given me so many wonderful things and I’m glad I was well-prepared for it. So the next time I feel like I’m stuck in a rut or backsliding, I’m going to remind myself that I’m right where I need to be and, when I’m ready, I’ll be able to move forward once again. Sometimes moving forward requires taking one or more steps backward, and I’m slowly becoming ok with that.