There is a concept in psychology called the shadow. As I understand it, the shadow consists of whatever aspects of ourselves we unconsciously repress or consciously suppress. It is anything that we keep from others or even from ourselves, and this doesn’t mean just the parts of ourselves that we think are bad. Creativity, humor, certain opinions, and other things that are either neutral or might even be good can all become part of our shadow. The more we try to ignore our shadow, the more control it has over us in ways that become increasingly visible as well as destructive.
Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung postulated that the best way to manage the shadow is to bring it into the light by observing it and, eventually, embracing it. When your shadow is no longer allowed to move and grow with no conscious attention afforded to it, it will have less impact on your thoughts, words, and actions. Fully accepting it along with everything else that makes up your personality makes you whole. This is difficult for me to think about and even more difficult for me to do because of how I tend to approach this area.
I’m so used to thinking of these things in terms of struggle. Wrestling with God, resisting certain urges, and fighting elements I don’t like about myself. Plus there’s the story of the two wolves within us fighting for control, one good and one bad, and the one that wins is the one we feed; the idea there is to love one wolf and hate the other. But there’s another way to look at it, a way that fits perfectly with the post I made about Mara. Instead of looking at this as something to conquer and overcome, look at it as something to love and accept. This makes sense when I think about my interactions with other people. I can’t be at peace with someone if I’m constantly fighting with them, so how could I be at peace with myself if I’m constantly fighting myself? Additionally, since I have internal resistance whenever someone tries to control me, trying to control unwanted feelings within myself only strengthens them. Acknowledging whatever comes up and providing no resistance to it allows me to accept it, which causes it to evaporate shortly thereafter and leave me in a state of peace.
Most of the little knowledge I have on Carl Jung and the shadow came from this video that I watched while I ate breakfast this morning. Two more videos containing audio of Alan Watts talking about Jung and our dark side (or “rascal” side as Watts called it) gave me some incredible insights into my life and what I can do to become whole. In particular, something Watts said about showing ourselves the same love and compassion that we show to other people in need resonated deeply with me and made the light bulb go off. Since I listened to those three videos, I’ve felt much more peace than I have for most of this month and I really feel like this, along with everything I’m learning in Letting Go, is the way out of pain. I’m incredibly hopeful and optimistic about all of this. I hope this all makes sense and helps you live in peace with yourself.