Saturday night was the roughest part of a difficult two weeks for me. When I got home after work, I spoke with a friend who helped me work through a lot of stuff I’ve been feeling lately and that was a huge relief. I felt much lighter and freer afterward, read for a bit, and then got the most refreshing sleep I’d had in days (and I didn’t wake up during the night like I had the previous several nights).
That wonderful feeling stayed with me all of Sunday. I was off work and decided to just stay home and have a day to myself. Among other things, I slept in, had fun with some of my regular hobbies, started learning how to use an abacus, stretched, took more time away from social media and electronic devices than I usually do, and, perhaps most importantly, had plenty of alone time to recharge after a lot of social interactions during the week. Essentially, I spent the day sharpening the saw and moving at my own pace through everything I did. I’m glad I had plenty of time that day to rest and recover from everything I’d recently experienced. It was a much-needed change of pace and it did me a lot of good.
The past few weeks showed me the importance of letting go each day. Even though I’ve been reading Letting Go by David Hawkins for almost two weeks now, I still faced a lot of resistance whenever I thought about following its recommendations. I could feel that resistance inside me saying “I’m not ready yet, I want to hold onto this for a while longer.” Each time I did, the pain within me grew until it got so painful that I had to let it go. Before I did that, my usual life hacks did little to nothing to make me feel better. Even floating for half an hour just gave me a temporary break from my emotions rather than removing them or helping me work through them. Once I let go, however, I felt much better than I had in a long time. If I hadn’t let go at that point, who knows what would have happened? I probably would have been hit even harder later on with an even more painful experience. Moving forward, I hope that I’ll remember to let go and surrender before my emotions accumulate to the point that they cause a lot of trouble for myself and those around me.