With most of my floats, it takes a while for my thoughts to settle and for any existing tension or anxiety I have to go away before I can get to a place of incredible mental stillness and peace. Once I get to that place, answers start flowing. Sometimes the answers are as clear as if someone whispers them in my ear or plants them in my head. Other times answers come in the form of actions, such as falling asleep if I’m really tired, haven’t been getting enough sleep, or just feel so relaxed from the float that I drift away. I think that the current situation is giving us all a chance to do exactly what I do in my floats: slow down, listen, and be ready to receive answers. Initially, there will be lots of fear, anxiety, panic, depression, uncertainty, and other similar emotions. Given time, though, letting those thoughts run their course without resisting them, fighting them, or trying to get rid of them will cause our thoughts to settle and our minds to come to rest in a place of peace, and then we will start to get answers. What those answers will be and when they will come, I don’t know. All I know is that I’m not going to try to force them to arrive. I’m just going to work on observing my thoughts and staying with my breath as I let my thoughts run their course. Whenever I get into that place of presence and stillness, I’ll be ready to receive whatever is given to me and will pass it on later if I feel drawn to do so.
This doesn’t mean I’ve had it easy during this time. Although I’ve felt less anxious than usual, I have been a bit depressed since all of my social dances, my gym, and my job have been shut down. I miss dancing, seeing my friends, going to my self-defense lessons, and going through my usual routines. Before any of this happened, I had resumed working on the things I’d learned from Letting Go since I hadn’t done much of that stuff in a long time. Now that I’m at home a lot more than usual and have far fewer distractions, I’m even more focused on those things, especially staying present and surrendering. So if anything, this post serves as a reminder for me to take things one at a time and focus on the important things that I can control.
It’s been wonderful to see that lots of people are taking care of themselves during this time, including prioritizing their mental health. Additionally, they are also looking out for those around them, especially those who are in poor health or who lack the necessities. That has given me hope and makes me think that the bad communication and division I’ve seen exists mostly online while a lot of good stuff is being done in real life. I’ve never experienced anything like this before and I think the same is true for most people I know. I feel like we’ve left the old world behind and are moving toward a new world that we’re slowly building with the decisions we’re making right now. I’ll close by saying that my ultimate hope amidst all this craziness and uncertainty is that we will carry with us into the new world whatever lessons we learn during this time of testing.