Tim Ferriss has a big book called Tools of Titans in which he interviews over 100 extremely successful people to learn the things that work for them. This excerpt was written by Chade-Meng Tan, an expert in mindfulness, among many other things. I loved reading about it so much that I wanted to share it with you all. The little bit of this exercise that I’ve done has helped me and I hope it helps you too. Without further ado, here it is.
In many of my public talks, I guide a very simple 10-second exercise. I tell the audience members to each identify two human beings in the room and just think,”I wish for this person to be happy, and I wish for that person to be happy.” That is it. I remind them to not do or say anything, just think – this is an entirely thinking exercise. The entire exercise is just 10 seconds’ worth of thinking.
Everybody emerges from this exercise smiling, happier than 10 seconds before. This is the joy of loving-kindness. It turns out that being on the giving end of a kind thought is rewarding in and of itself…. All other things being equal, to increase your happiness, all you have to do is randomly wish for somebody else to be happy. That is all. It basically takes no time and no effort.
How far can you push this joy of loving-kindness? One time, I gave a public talk in a meditation center called Spirit Rock in California. As usual, I guided the audience in this 10-second exercise, and just for fun, I assigned them homework. I was speaking on a Monday evening, and the next day, Tuesday, was a work day, so I told the audience to do this exercise for Tuesday: Once an hour, every hour, randomly identify two people walking past your office and secretly wish for each of them to be happy. You don’t have to do or say anything – just think, “I wish for this person to be happy.” And since nobody knows what you’re thinking, it’s not embarrassing – you can do this exercise entirely in stealth. And after 10 seconds of doing that, go back to work. That’s all. On Wednesday morning that week, I received an email from a total stranger, Jane (not her real name). Jane told me, “I hate my job. I hate coming to work every single day. But I attended your talk on Monday, did the homework on Tuesday, and Tuesday was my happiest day in 7 years.”
Happiest day in 7 years. And what did it take to achieve that? It took 10 seconds of secretly wishing for two other people to be happy for 8 repetitions, a total of 80 seconds of thinking. That, my friends, is the awesome power of loving-kindness.