The Tartt Take

Sometimes I get disheartened by the small acts of cruelty or indifference that I see on a regular basis. Whether it’s drivers cutting each other off or not letting each other merge, customers being rude to servers, people who consistently show up late to their appointments, or shoppers who leave their carts all over the parking lot and make employees retrieve them because they don’t feel like putting them back, this stuff can wear me down if I dwell on it. I see all of that as stemming from the feeling of separateness that is so common in many cultures. That feeling makes it easier for people to be cruel to one another, either by directly harming somebody else or ignoring them when they need help.

When people feel separate from each other, it makes them less likely to care about the consequences of their actions, such as making others late for important events, making life even harder for those who are already going through a difficult time, and generally causing problems instead of making things run smoothly. Every time they run roughshod over others without facing any consequences for doing so, they are incentivized to continue acting in this manner. Not surprisingly, the people who act this way appear to be miserable. While they may think that their actions don’t come back to haunt them, they are actually harming themselves by being cruel and indifferent to others. In addition to building up negativity energy within themselves, they’re also programming themselves to think, act, and speak in particular ways and to expect that same behavior from other people. Accordingly, they go out expecting to find problems, find them everywhere, react negatively, and repeat this cycle indefinitely, causing pain to themselves and those around them with each iteration.

I think the solution to this is to cultivate a feeling of oneness by reminding ourselves what we all share: we all can and do suffer, we’re all spiritual beings having a human experience, and we all want to feel whole. Further, I think we’d all benefit from having more meaningful interactions with each other through mutual aid, charitable outreach, outdoor festivals and social gatherings, and other similar chances to form solid bonds. That could go a long way to bring down many of the harmful societal walls that have been in place for generations. I’d also like to see major changes in society and culture that make clear how we all depend on each other; right now the fact of our interdependence is often hidden, much to the detriment of us all. Even though independence and self-sufficiency have their advantages, they can also force people into loneliness and isolation and make the ground fertile for strained relations and other kinds of social dysfunction. For now, just focusing on the things that unite us helps me treat others with more kindness and understanding, so that’s a good place to start. Take care, everyone.