My Reflections on 2020

Where do I even begin? I didn’t see any of this coming at the start of 2020. This year started off normally for me, right down to attending Lollies and Lemonade in late January exactly as I had done in 2019. By spring, it was clear to me that this would be unlike any other year of my life.

More than almost everything else, 2020 was the year that wouldn’t end. By far the longest year of my adult life, this year felt like several years in one. I think the reason time moved so much slower than it normally does is because so much changed, including me. My normal habits and routines were completely upended early on before being partially restored after a while. Along the way, I developed new habits and routines that I have still kept to this day. I also experienced an amazing personal growth journey this year. Looking back on where I was at the start of this year and where I am now at its end is astonishing; it feels like many years passed between those two points and that I’m almost an entirely different person.

So much of this year was a struggle for me, more than any other year I can recall. Some of the hardest things I experienced included losing swing dancing as a regular activity, being out of work for just over a month when my job temporarily shut down, going on several emotional roller coasters, growing away from some people, and feeling as though I was stuck in a bottomless pit of misery that would keep taking away everything I loved for the rest of my life. I felt miserable for months and experienced new lows across many heavy feelings.

I’m glad to say that I didn’t stay in that place. Every coin has two sides and even the darkest night is followed by the light of a new day. While the first half of my year was full of suffering, the second half was full of peace. Things started looking up for me toward the end of the cross-country road trip I took back in July. One friend I visited on that trip reminded me of the importance of working through my emotions. That changed everything for me. My mood improved tremendously on the penultimate day of my trip as I started naming everything I was grateful for whenever I felt the urge to complain and, for the first time this year, really started using what I’d read in Letting Go back in October of 2019. In the months since that trip, I’ve felt much better overall than I ever have in any year of my life. In addition to all of the emotional healing, I got to enjoy many other nice things this year: lots of swing dancing in the first few months of 2020, watching all of the Unus Annus videos in just over a month, going on my road trip, swing dancing once a month since September, making some new friends, and going on a few work trips (something I’d never done before). I’m certain that I would still be in a rough place emotionally if I hadn’t undergone that major shift this summer so I’m grateful for that.

Had 2020 gone as I thought it initially would, it probably would have been just another year for me: some good stuff, some bad stuff, some stuff I liked, and some stuff I disliked. There probably wouldn’t have been much in the way of personal growth or big changes. I think I would have had a nice, easy, comfortable year. For many months, this year was not what I wanted but I’m sure it was what I needed. Something had to really shake things up for me, get me out of my comfort zone, and make me face some unpleasant emotions that I didn’t want to face (and had actively been putting off facing for most of my life). Having gone through it, I wouldn’t change it if I could. I don’t think I would have learned the lessons that I did if this had been an easy, comfortable, quiet year. I think each year of my life is exactly what I need it to be: 2017 really shook up a lot of things for me, 2018 felt like a nice break, 2019 turned up the heat a little bit, and 2020 turned the heat all the way up. If I hadn’t learned the lessons I needed to learn this year, they would have just been pushed off into some other year and it would have been that much harder to learn them later on. In addition to the personal growth, I’m grateful I got to have so many wonderful experiences despite (or because of) the pain; I’m especially glad this year started off so nicely. I have a new level of appreciation for the nice stuff that I don’t think I would have if I hadn’t gone through the hard stuff.

How has 2020 been for you, and what have you gotten out of this year? Whatever has happened, I hope it ends well for you and teaches you more about peace, love, and joy. Be blessed and I will see you again in 2021.

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Reviewing My 2020 Goals

Last year, I came up with a handful of goals that I hoped to accomplish this year. I believe it’s better to focus on a few things at a time rather than spreading myself too thin. That’s been a good way for me to avoid burnout and make steady progress in everything I’ve done. How did I do with my goals? Let’s take a look.

  1. Learn some unicycling tricks. Nothing too fancy right away, just some stuff that I can probably pick up in a year or less. Riding backwards, juggling while riding (which I did once earlier this year), starting off without leaning against something, etc. With all the progress I made at unicycling this past year, I think I can go even further next year.

    I absolutely nailed this. Now I can easily juggle while unicycling and free mount almost every time. Additionally, I can unicycle with my eyes shut, free mount with my eyes shut, solve my Rubik’s Cube, and do the YMCA and Macarena. I’m still working on riding backwards but I can do it fairly easily for short distances. Daily practice has paid off tremendously and I look forward to having even more fun while continuing to improve.
  2. Stick to a solid, consistent workout routine. Since I first joined a gym back in 2014, my workouts have been all over the place. Sometimes I’ll go weeks without exercising, other times I’ll not miss a workout for months, and still other times I’ll just do warm up sets and call it a day. My strength has varied dramatically as a result and I never seem to stay at one level of strength for very long before rising or falling to another level. Next year, I hope to hit the gym regularly and stick to a good workout program so I can get my strength where I’d like it to be.

    This didn’t happen. I went to my gym fairly regularly until it closed down in the spring. I’m pretty sure it opened back up a few months ago but I haven’t been back since. My routines have changed dramatically and I’ve fallen out of the habit of going to the gym. Even though I haven’t stuck to a consistent workout regimen, I’ve juggled and unicycled every day this year, played with my rola bola each day since I got it for my birthday back in early autumn, and done chinups almost every day. That’s all kept me in pretty good shape and given me plenty of opportunities to move around rather than staying totally sedentary in my free time. Maybe next year I’ll be able to get my strength training routine down pat.
  3. Start working on my humanitarian plan. I talked about this in a recent post, so I won’t spend too much time on it here. Since I think about it a lot, I might as well try some things out and see what happens. Maybe it will work out in practice similarly to how it looks in my head, or maybe I’ll need to do a lot of things differently. Either way, I’ll at least be moving toward one of my biggest life goals and helping people out along the way.

    Another one that didn’t happen. I kept to myself for much of the first half of this year and was hardly even helping myself during that time. I have done more to help people in the past few months, though not as I have in mind with my humanitarian plan. However, I did learn a lot this year about helping people: certain methods work well for some people but not others, those who don’t want help won’t benefit from it, listening without judgment or attempting to solve problems is often the best way to help someone, and I can help people much more effectively now that I’m in a much better space (more on that in the next point). Maybe I had to learn those lessons before embarking on any major ventures. Either way, I look forward to seeing what opportunities I come across next year to move toward my bigger plans.
  4. Continue healing. I worked through a lot of difficult emotional stuff this year. The more I learn about myself, the more stuff I find to heal. Whether or not this ends up being a lifelong process, it will probably take me several more years to discover and heal everything that comes up. Fortunately I have several wonderful friends who regularly help me on this journey, so I’m ready to keep going and see where it takes me next.

    Of all the goals I had for this year, this is the one I’m most grateful for having accomplished. While I’ve still got a long way to go, I made more progress in emotional healing this year than any other year of my life. I lost so much in 2020 and was in pain for a long, long time. I think I had to go through all that in order to get where I am now. It wasn’t until the pain became overwhelming that I finally started working through my emotions. Once I got through the worst emotions that came from events of this year, I started addressing other, more deep-seated issues. With enough determination and time, I’m confident that I can clear out all of the deeper issues that have plagued me for decades. Given how wonderful and free I feel at this point, I can’t even imagine how much better I’ll feel after several more years of this. I’m excited to see what that looks like for me.
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2021 Goals

While I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, I still started a tradition of setting goals a few years ago and I’ve been pretty good at sticking with them. Next week I’ll take a look at how I did with keeping my goals from last year. For now, here are some of my goals for 2021. What are some of your goals for next year?

  1. Finish my first book. I have several books that I plan to write and I’ve gotten a good start on the first one. While it’s primarily about communication, it also contains several other related subjects such as mindfulness, emotional work, and healing the world. It’s based on things I’ve learned from reading and listening to great communicators, figured out for myself, and learned through the many interactions I’ve had with countless people in every area of my life. I hope to have it finished by the end of 2021. Once I’m done writing it, then I’ll work on getting it published. I’m excited for this and can’t wait to see where it leads.
  2. Do even more emotional healing. This year forced me to work through a lot of stuff and I made huge amounts of progress. I’ve got much more to work through and I plan to continue doing so every day in 2021. Since I improved my life so much with five and a half months of consistent practice, I’m excited to see where I’ll be after doing this for a whole year. I’m confident I’ll keep this up since I now know both how to go about this and the benefits of doing it consistently.
  3. Spend more time with my friends. When it comes to socializing, I’ve done less of that this year than I have in almost a decade. Digital interactions and phone calls do help but they’re no substitute for in-person interactions. The interactions I have had this year have mostly been wonderful and I’m so grateful for them. I’m hoping to have many more of them next year, especially with some of my closest friends whom I hardly ever get to see.
  4. Read more consistently. I try to read a chapter of a book each day. This year, I was extremely hit or miss with that. Sometimes I went a week or more at a time without doing much reading and other times I read several chapters from multiple books in one day. Even though some of my books had extremely long chapters (over one hundred pages in some cases), mostly it was poor time management or emotional distress that kept me from reading as much as I wanted. So next year, I want to stick to reading at least one chapter a day (more if I like). I’ve gotten better at managing my time and reading throughout the day so I’m confident I can make this happen.
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My 2020 Gratitude List

For many months, I considered 2020 to be the worst year of my life. So much that I had found, developed, and come to love was taken away from me extremely quickly and with little to no time for me to prepare for it. Some of those things have come back while others are still gone; I don’t know if all of it will ever come back. However, all the inner work I’ve done for almost five months now has given me some new perspectives. I did lose a lot but I also gained a lot, and I don’t think my greatest gains would have come without the intense pain I experienced. Here are a few things for which I’m grateful to the year 2020.

  1. Emotional healing. This takes the top spot on my list as it allowed me to either experience or enjoy (or both) everything else. As I’ve written about before, my success in this area came from consistently practicing surrender as described in the book Letting Go. This allowed me to heal over the course of a few months from a variety of negative emotions that I thought would plague me for the rest of my life. Now I hardly ever think about the situation behind those emotions and when I do it no longer haunts me as it once did. Using surrender on other, deeper emotions has made me much more confident and comfortable when interacting with other people, both new and old alike. It’s also improved my sleep, encouraged me to return to working on my communication book, and given me hope that I’ll be able to accomplish my big life plans. I believe this year was a necessary part of my journey and that I can now do everything I’m meant to accomplish in this life.
  2. Reconnecting with old friends. Several of my close friends live far away so we keep in touch through social media, texts, and the occasional phone call. As such, it’s easy for life events to keep us from interacting for extended periods of time. This year, I got back in touch with one friend with whom I hadn’t had much contact in a few years and another who has had quite a hard time this year. It was so good to pick up right where we left off and see that the time away hadn’t destroyed our friendship. Additionally, I finally met some online friends in person after knowing them for years and that was wonderful. One of many amazing unexpected surprises this year has given me.
  3. Making new friends. I met some new people this year who have become my friends as we’ve gotten to know each other better. Some of them I met online and others in person through swing dancing toward the beginning of the year. It’s been wonderful keeping in touch with them and growing together. I don’t make new friends easily but I’m grateful for the ones I have now and I look forward to our continuing conversations and adventures.
  4. Improving my communication. My communication is better now than it’s ever been. Even though I read several communication books in a row this year, I think the biggest benefit came from all the emotional work I’ve done. That has made it much easier for me to step outside my views, see things from others’ perspectives, and avoid many of the common traps that result in poor communication. I’ve also made a great deal of progress on the communication book I’m writing and I hope to have it finished before 2021 ends. I doubt I’d be doing as well as I am with any of that if I hadn’t experienced what I did this year so I’m eternally grateful for the lessons I’ve learned.
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Acting in Haste

Acting in haste can be hard to avoid, especially if it’s a habit that you’ve had for most of your life. Even though habits can be changed, doing so takes a lot of time, energy, and intention. It also involves getting past the ego and that is often the hardest task of all.

Once something is said, it can’t be taken back. It can be forgiven if there is willingness on the part of the recipient and this could be an opportunity for the relationship to grow by working through conflict. However, don’t say things out of anger for the express purpose of creating an opportunity to work through something. If you truly want to improve a relationship, then your ego must be quiet for you to succeed.

This doesn’t mean you can never express your feelings. All it means is that it’s best to do so in a mindful way. There is likely a way to word what’s on your mind so that your intentions are clear while still staying true to your feelings. You could also try describing what you’re feeling in your emotions and your physical body rather than attacking or blaming the other person.

Something I’ve found helpful is to think about what I feel like saying and how I’ll probably feel about having said it later on based on past experience in similar situations. If I’ll regret saying it later, then I do my best to avoid saying it in the present. This is difficult to do in the heat of the moment but it gets easier with practice and it’s worth doing as it prevents so many problems.

This post was inspired by a recent example of me acting in haste based off an assumption and saying something I regretted. Fortunately I reconciled with the other person and I’ve worked through most of my own emotions around the situation so it was a good learning experience for me. One that, I hope, will be the final time I make that mistake. I hope you also learn from my experience so that you don’t have to make the same mistake for yourself.

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A Rare Opportunity

This year has brought up a lot of intense emotions for just about everybody. As such, it has presented a rare opportunity to discuss the collective unconscious. This is a concept developed by Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. Jung postulated that everyone has a collection of unwanted (though not necessarily bad) thoughts, memories, and emotions buried deeply in the unconscious mind. He called this the shadow and believed that the more someone ignores their shadow, the more they are controlled by it. Some people are entirely possessed by their shadows. The proper thing to do, according to Jung, is to become aware of the shadow and work through everything in it. Doing so would make one whole by reconciling opposing aspects of the personality and bringing a deep sense of peace.

How can one find out what’s in one’s shadow? This can easily be done by looking at other people and observing how one responds. The things that most upset us in others are the things that we most dislike about ourselves. Therefore, observing oneself when feeling angered, saddened, or frustrated by what someone else does is an important self-awareness practice. Healing that part of the shadow means being free to choose one’s response to related external events rather than being forced into an unconscious reaction based on pain.

In addition to our own individual shadows, Jung stated that there is a collective unconscious created by what is left unobserved within ourselves. When large numbers of people fight (either verbally or physically), refuse to listen to or understand each other, and take sides as if preparing for war, that’s the collective unconscious in action. Healing both the personal and the collective unconscious is essential for the healing of individuals, families, societies, and, ultimately, the world. Tremendous pain often motivates one to pursue serious healing. Minor or even moderate pain can be tolerated for a lifetime but severe pain cannot. If there were ever a year that brought about enough pain to motivate entire populations to pursue personal and collective healing, it would be this year.

Will it pan out that way? It might. Every person who diligently pursues healing moves us all a little closer to that destination. Everyone who heals enough to respond to negativity with positivity, see the underlying pain in someone who is acting harshly, be fully present with those around them, and teach this to others who are interested in learning it acts as a beacon of light and hope. Light is brightest in the darkness and there has been a lot of darkness coming up all throughout this year. Unlearned lessons will be repeated until they’re learned and the situations through which they appear will become increasingly more unpleasant until the messages are received. Please, let’s prevent that from happening. Let’s all learn both our personal and collective lessons so that this will have been the first year of unprecedented growth rather than the first year of unprecedented downfall.

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The Blind Men and the Elephant

I’ve loved this story for many years now. This particular version came from the Peace Corps website. All the versions I’ve read show the trouble of trying to understanding something while only having one piece of the puzzle. It’s a great reminder for me to consider other perspectives and share my own thoughts with others so that everyone can benefit.

Long ago six old men lived in a village in India. Each was born blind. The other villagers loved the old men and kept them away from harm. Since the blind men could not see the world for themselves, they had to imagine many of its wonders. They listened carefully to the stories told by travelers to learn what they could about life outside the village.

The men were curious about many of the stories they heard, but they were most curious about elephants. They were told that elephants could trample forests, carry huge burdens, and frighten young and old with their loud trumpet calls. But they also knew that the Rajah’s daughter rode an elephant when she traveled in her father’s kingdom. Would the Rajah let his daughter get near such a dangerous creature?

The old men argued day and night about elephants. “An elephant must be a powerful giant,” claimed the first blind man. He had heard stories about elephants being used to clear forests and build roads.

“No, you must be wrong,” argued the second blind man. “An elephant must be graceful and gentle if a princess is to ride on its back.”

“You’re wrong! I have heard that an elephant can pierce a man’s heart with its terrible horn,” said the third blind man.

“Please,” said the fourth blind man. “You are all mistaken. An elephant is nothing more than a large sort of cow. You know how people exaggerate.”

“I am sure that an elephant is something magical,” said the fifth blind man. “That would explain why the Rajah’s daughter can travel safely throughout the kingdom.”

“I don’t believe elephants exist at all,” declared the sixth blind man. “I think we are the victims of a cruel joke.”

Finally, the villagers grew tired of all the arguments, and they arranged for the curious men to visit the palace of the Rajah to learn the truth about elephants. A young boy from their village was selected to guide the blind men on their journey. The smallest man put his hand on the boy’s shoulder. The second blind man put his hand on his friend’s shoulder, and so on until all six men were ready to walk safely behind the boy who would lead them to the Rajah’s magnificent palace.

When the blind men reached the palace, they were greeted by an old friend from their village who worked as a gardener on the palace grounds. Their friend led them to the courtyard. There stood an elephant. The blind men stepped forward to touch the creature that was the subject of so many arguments.

The first blind man reached out and touched the side of the huge animal. “An elephant is smooth and solid like a wall!” he declared. “It must be very powerful.”

The second blind man put his hand on the elephant’s limber trunk. “An elephant is like a giant snake,” he announced.

The third blind man felt the elephant’s pointed tusk. “I was right,” he decided. “This creature is as sharp and deadly as a spear.”

The fourth blind man touched one of the elephant’s four legs. “What we have here,” he said, “is an extremely large cow.”

The fifth blind man felt the elephant’s giant ear. “I believe an elephant is like a huge fan or maybe a magic carpet that can fly over mountains and treetops,” he said.

The sixth blind man gave a tug on the elephant’s coarse tail. “Why, this is nothing more than a piece of old rope. Dangerous, indeed,” he scoffed.

The gardener led his friends to the shade of a tree. “Sit here and rest for the long journey home,” he said. “I will bring you some water to drink.”

While they waited, the six blind men talked about the elephant.

“An elephant is like a wall,” said the first blind man. “Surely we can finally agree on that.”

“A wall? An elephant is a giant snake!” answered the second blind man.

“It’s a spear, I tell you,” insisted the third blind man.

“I’m certain it’s a giant cow,” said the fourth blind man.

“Magic carpet. There’s no doubt,” said the fifth blind man.

“Don’t you see?” pleaded the sixth blind man. “Someone used a rope to trick us.”

Their argument continued and their shouts grew louder and louder.

“Wall!” “Snake!” “Spear!” “Cow!” “Carpet!” “Rope!”

“Stop shouting!” called a very angry voice.

It was the Rajah, awakened from his nap by the noisy argument.

“How can each of you be so certain you are right?” asked the ruler.

The six blind men considered the question. And then, knowing the Rajah to be a very wise man, they decided to say nothing at all.

“The elephant is a very large animal,” said the Rajah kindly. “Each man touched only one part. Perhaps if you put the parts together, you will see the truth. Now, let me finish my nap in peace.”

When their friend returned to the garden with the cool water, the six men rested quietly in the shade, thinking about the Rajah’s advice.

“He is right,” said the first blind man. “To learn the truth, we must put all the parts together. Let’s discuss this on the journey home.”

The first blind man put his hand on the shoulder of the young boy who would guide them home. The second blind man put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, and so on until all six men were ready to travel together.

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The Middle Way

What happens if two people have apparently conflicting ideas or plans? In many cases nowadays, the result is verbal sparring and possibly even a violent altercation. When the conflict ends, they are further apart than they were before it started, both in terms of their thinking and in terms of their relationship. This is completely unnecessary and can (and should) be replaced by a concept that I love called the Middle way.

Rather than being a compromise, middle ground, or halfway point between two undesirable positions, the Middle Way (also known as the Third Way) is more accurately described as a better, higher way than the two options that were initially offered. It entails hearing each other out, finding out everyone’s desires and needs, and then working together to find a better solution than what anybody can come up with alone.

It can be difficult to do this. After all, if I’m certain that I have the perfect solution to a particular problem, then I’d view any other solution as less than ideal. As long as my perfect solution is close to being as implementable as other, lesser solutions, then why go for anything less than perfection? That’s the trouble with thinking that I’ve got all the answers; such a mindset prevents me from learning anything by listening to other people. It’s important to keep in mind that every one of us knows something that somebody else doesn’t and if we put our heads together, we can figure out a better way than anything any one of us could come up with alone. It takes a great deal of humility, patience, and willingness to be part of the solution rather than part of the problem.

Unfortunately, that is a pretty rare combination, especially in the most important decisions. What’s far more common is to see people talking past each other, fighting with each other over misunderstandings rather than clarifying them, and getting nothing done. No wonder there are so many problems in the world that remain to be solved. There are plenty of difficult problems out there but any problem becomes easier if people work together effectively to solve it rather than waste time fighting over things that ultimately don’t matter.

Stephen Covey dedicates a good bit of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People to the Middle Way. He describes it as a combination of Habit 4 (Think Win/Win), Habit 5 (Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood), and Habit 6 (Synergize). Once two people have decided to seek mutually beneficial outcomes and listened to each other enough to know where they are both coming from, they can work together to find incredibly effective solutions. That was how I first learned about the Middle Way and I find it to be an incredibly helpful way to remember it. I’ve gotten better over time at implementing it thanks to practice and a desire to use it. Whenever I implement it, it’s well worth the effort and I hope to see it used with increasing frequency to make the world better, one conversation at a time.

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The Power and Danger of Stories

Stories are everywhere. They’re how we communicate our ideas and values to those around us and they’re how we try to make sense of the world. When we observe something, our brains tend to automatically write a story around that event in an attempt to explain it and make it fit into the larger picture of reality that we have in our heads. This happens almost instantly in nearly every waking moment, informs most if not all of our view of the world, and is incredibly difficult to notice. As such, stories are almost inescapable.

As useful as they can be, however, stories can also be misleading. They can make any given subject appear much simpler than it really is and make us think we completely understand something or someone when, in reality, we couldn’t be farther off. Someone who believes they have the whole story isn’t going to be very interested in considering that they might be wrong about part of it. Accordingly, once a story is accepted as gospel truth, it’s incredibly difficult to let go of it and adopt another story, even if one wishes to do so.

With practice, it becomes easy to tell when someone is caught up in one or more stories. Indicators include an unwillingness to consider or even listen to other perspectives, insisting that they’re right no matter what, reacting with strong emotion to anything that opposes their viewpoint, and maintaining the exact same perspectives year after year without ever changing their views based on new information. What’s much more difficult, though, is noticing when you’re caught up in a story. Fortunately there’s a handy life hack for this. The stories that you most readily observe in others are often the ones that are most dominant in your own thinking, so whenever you catch yourself noticing someone else’s story, take some time to examine if you are also holding onto that story.

There are several ways to do this. Be mindful of the stories your brain is writing instead of being oblivious to them. Practice thinking of several plausible stories to explain any given event. Get used to observing your thoughts so that you don’t become overwhelmed by any given story. Finally, work on getting rid of stories altogether and just focus on observing the world as it is without having to judge, label, react to, or categorize it. In time, you’ll be able to notice your stories as they’re first being formed and can then choose how to respond to them (it’s fun to laugh at stories, especially when they’re negative).

It’s incredibly freeing to get out of the grip of stories. In addition to bringing about a great deal of inner peace, this allows for a more accurate, more useful, and, quite often, more enjoyable look at the world. Communication and interactions with other people also drastically improve once stories are optional rather than mandatory. There are few things more wonderful than being free from the inner narrator that writes the stories; the resulting mental quietude makes it possible to enjoy each moment as it is instead of putting a negative label on it or missing it altogether due to being lost in thought. In closing, stories themselves are neutral as long as you control them rather than letting them control you. Enjoy them all you like but always take them with a grain of salt and don’t let them make you miss out on the good stuff in life.

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Concepts and Systems

It’s so easy to fall into the trap of concepts. Concepts themselves aren’t inherently bad and can even be helpful by giving us a simple starting point for some incredibly complicated subjects. However, it’s really easy to start putting anything and everything into a concept or category, including people. It’s so common for people to look at each other and say “Oh that person is this and they belong in that category.” The categorization can be based on anything about them: the way they act, the way they think, their appearance, their views, etc. It’s also super common to think of someone as a physical embodiment of their views and put them in a corresponding category or box.

The problem with this is people are not their views. Additionally, putting everything and everyone into boxes can be dangerous because it makes it seem as if we know more about the world than we truly do. Even seemingly simple things are far too complex for small boxes. Humans, being endlessly complicated, don’t fit into any kinds of boxes at all. To understand someone requires removing the box and seeing them as they are rather than as a simple concept that can be summed up in a few short sentences.

One reason that it’s so hard to avoid putting people into categories is because the tendency to categorize everything is all around us. There aren’t many examples of simply observing things as they are and letting them be that way. We’re all born into a world that we didn’t design and we’re surrounded by huge systems all our lives, including societies, governments, businesses, cultures, families, communities, etc. Shortly after we’re born, we’re almost immediately put into many situations that attempt to mold us and shape us in certain ways so that we’ll accept the present systems. Growing up this way and not really being exposed to any alternatives, people believe that this is the natural order. “The world has always been this way and it’ll always be this way.”

Most people never really stop to think about how much work it took to make the world the way it is and how much work it takes to keep it this way. With enough people working together effectively over a long enough period of time, things could be vastly different than they are now. This current existence is only one of a huge (perhaps unlimited) number of possibilities. As long as people stay stuck thinking that the way things are is the way they have to be, however, we won’t get to see any of those other possibilities. Instead, people will simply continue being born into this world, getting sucked into existing systems, and adopting patterns and habits that most other people before them have fallen into. As they grow, they’ll continue to maintain those systems and cycles and they won’t have made much difference by the time they die; things will be pretty much the same when they leave the world as when they entered it. A lot of people won’t ever really think about this. Of those who do, many of them will think “It would be nice if we could really change things for the better but it’s just not possible.”

I’d like to see less dependence on concepts and systems because, in addition to limiting imagination and creative thinking, they also give people an easy way out through denial of responsibility. “I don’t have to help that person because there are systems in place for people in need.” Or “I did what I had to do/I was just doing what I was told to do.” I regularly fall into these traps as well so I know how devious they can be. Lack of systems, I hope, would make people more likely to look out for one another and keep in mind that they could one day be in a position of needing help. Less overuse of concepts could help with that by reminding us that, beyond all superficial and even seemingly significant differences, we’re all humans who get to share this Earth with each other for a little while. That’s my greatest wish and I hope I can help make it come true.

Posted in Communication, Getting Along with Each Other, Humanitarian Things, Life Hacks, Personal Freedom, Self-Improvement | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Concepts and Systems