This year has been a roller coaster. In fact, 2024 may have had the most chaotic start to any year of my adult life. However, based on my goals for this year, things are going pretty well now that much of the madness has settled down. This year has given me lots of situations that have tested my patience, given me lots of chances to let go and be mindful, and brought up deep pain to be healed. Here’s a brief overview.
Things are gradually getting better. This came as quite a shock to me since this year started so roughly. However, this week has seen some big progress. The biggest progress came in the financial realm. After having to reschedule multiple times, I finally made it in for a paid plasma donation yesterday. That was a huge relief after all it took to make that happen. In the long run, this will be a great way to make some extra money; in the short run, the new donor bonuses will significantly improve my financial situation. That plus the recent generosity of many folks I know has given me more hope for a good future than I’ve had in an incredibly long time.
A good friend recently brought up doing things one dislikes as part of personal growth. That got me thinking about my approach to life since my dog Sawyer’s death, which can be summed up as pursuing my own comfort whenever possible. This was essential when I was in the deepest, most painful stages of grieving Sawyer. Since I’ve recovered tremendously, I’ve started to look at things differently. While I still believe that excessive negativity does far more harm than good, I wonder if I’ve been focusing too much on comfort. As such, I’ve taken some small steps toward doing things that are good for me even if I dislike them. Taking cool showers has been a fairly easy first step here. Today, I started doing some cardio to improve my health and lower my resting heart rate. I also had a difficult but necessary conversation with a friend that allowed our friendship to continue in a healthy way. That conversation took a lot of preparation and courage and I’m glad I participated in it instead of shying away from it as I’ve done so often in the past. As I continue making life changes, I plan to work through even more of my deep-seated pain. I’ve faced lots of inner resistance to this whenever I’ve looked into the book It Didn’t Start with You, so I’m thinking that doing a deep dive into that will bring a new round of healing. I hope that all of this will help me avoid repeating major past mistakes as well as making even worse ones.
I hate all the ups and downs of life. I much prefer when life is flowing smoothly and I’m able to relax enough to release some of the deepest, most painful emotions. That said, health and fitness icon Jack Lalane said he enjoyed the results of exercising even though he didn’t always like doing it. Similarly, I like the results of making progress on my healing journey even though I often hate the journey itself. Since 2023 turned out to be a good year for me, I’m hoping that 2024 will be even better. If it’s anything like 2018, which was another year in which I made lots of changes and took a deeper dive into self-improvement, then the odds are in my favor.