In How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World, Harry Browne talks about direct and indirect alternatives. Essentially, a direct alternative is something that is within your control, and an indirect alternative requires someone else’s involvement. Browne encourages readers of the book to us direct alternatives rather than indirect alternatives wherever possible. Although I had been familiar with this concept before I read the book, seeing it spelled out so clearly and illustrated with many examples has made me put it into practice like never before.
One way I’ve made use of direct alternatives is in my interactions with other people. I’ve spent a lot of time working on not taking anything personally rather than trying to control anyone else’s actions. I’m not where I want to be with this yet but it’s made my life a lot better in a relatively short amount of time. Another area where I’ve used this life hack is in my employment. Instead of continually trying and failing to make my workplace function as I think it should, I’ve found another place that is much closer to what I have in mind. Lastly, I’ve used direct alternatives for a few years now when sharing my ideas with other people. I used to argue until I was blue in the face, trying desperately to convince someone else to come around to my position. Ever since I stopped arguing, I’ve gradually developed the approach I now use. I state my thoughts on a given subject if I feel inclined to do so (mostly through my blog posts) and I don’t try to change anyone else’s thinking. If someone disagrees with me, fine. We might talk about it if we’re both up for a conversation, and I’ll do my best during that exchange to understand their perspective. And if someone agrees with me, then we might also have a conversation in which we share helpful things we’ve found on our respective journeys. I much prefer this to arguing and getting frustrated.
I’ve felt much happier and freer since I started focusing more on direct alternatives and less on indirect alternatives. I also feel much less dependent on other people than I used to since I now look for ways I can take action rather than waiting for someone else to give me directions. This has eliminated a lot of problems from my life and made me more capable of effectively handling the remaining challenges. I’m so glad I started making use of direct alternatives and I look forward to finding new ways to improve my life with them.