I’ve read a lot this year. As I write this, I’ve read twenty six books (twenty seven if you count my annual reread of How to Win Friends and Influence People) and, by the time the year ends, I’ll have read two more if all goes according to plan. Keep in mind that with one or two exceptions, I haven’t sped through these books; I’ve simply managed to read two or three books a month by dedicating some time each night (as well as during the day in some cases) to read a chapter or two at a time. My thirst for knowledge and decently-sized personal library are what have allowed me to read at such a quick, steady pace.
I acquired many of the books on my shelf earlier this year because they were written by people I find fascinating, recommended by friends, or simply looked interesting to me. What I didn’t realize until I had read them is that they contained similar ideas about the way our brains work and why we behave in the ways we do. The psychological lessons I learned from these books fascinated me and gave me a completely different view of the world than I had ever seriously considered. Inspired, I began intentionally collecting more books on psychology so I could learn more about this subject. As I kept reading and learning new things, I found out more and more about how interconnected everything is. The more pieces of the puzzle I found, the easier it became to tell whether or not a new piece of information fits into that puzzle (though sometimes it might not appear to fit because it belongs to a different portion that I haven’t gotten to yet). This has given me a much better understanding of the world and the people in it as well as helped me navigate it more successfully.
Because I read the works of many different authors, I get exposed to a lot of different ideas. I always do my best to understand what an author means and where they’re coming from even if I disagree strongly with them on one or more points. There are many ways to view just about any situation, and since I now have a variety of perspectives from so many different authors, I can take a more nuanced look at many situations than I could in the past. This also helps with my self-improvement work: if I start getting upset over one possible interpretation of a situation, I try to remind myself that there are other ways to look at it, which usually helps me feel better.
Another reason for my renewed interest in reading comes from my desire to avoid blindly following people, a mistake I made over the past few years. Whenever I found someone particularly compelling, I’d read or watch as much of their work as I could find. While this usually did me no harm, I’d occasionally get drawn into someone who later turned out to be a fraud, manipulator, deceiver, etc. Because I was so enamored with them early on, I couldn’t see their inconsistencies, bad ideas, and other things that should have been major red flags. Eventually I saw these people for how they really were and stopped following them. Once the feelings of hurt and betrayal subsided, I could think more clearly about the lessons I learned from this experience.
Above everything else, I never want to let other people do my thinking for me again. I still listen to and learn from other people, but I now understand that I have the ability to make up my own mind in any situation. I also try to keep in mind that some people are deceitful and anyone can be wrong. Whether or not someone intends to cause trouble, they may be saying something that turns out to be false or harmful. Just as nobody is always wrong, nobody is always right, either. So now, instead of listening to a lot of what one or two people have to say about a fairly narrow range of subjects, I’m listening to what a lot of people have to say on wide range of subjects. Some of these people are experts in a certain subject and others are just average people trying to make sense of the world; sometimes what one person says overlaps with what someone else says and other times it couldn’t be further apart. In any event, I try to take what I learn with a grain of salt and see how it compares with the things I already know rather than automatically taking someone’s word for it just because they say some stuff I like.
Overall, I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned about blindly trusting people. I wish there weren’t dishonest people or people who talk as if they knew what they were saying when they really don’t, but as long as there are people like that in the world, it helps to be prepared for them and to know how to avoid falling for their tricks. Reading just about everything I can get my hands on and learning how to say no and protect myself against manipulation have helped me a lot in this regard. Instead of getting upset at myself for the mistakes I’ve made, I’m going to celebrate that I’m determined to avoid making them again and that I have some life hacks to help me do so.