One of the most memorable things I read in Never Split the Difference is Chris Voss’s point about focusing on the real problem in any situation. That problem isn’t you or anybody else involved in the situation; the real problem is the underlying issue that has to be resolved. Keeping that in mind makes it much easier to get to the root of the matter and focus on the actual problem instead of blaming someone else or feeling guilty, both of which prevent all of you from working together to find a solution.
Something else that can get in the way of solving a problem is focusing too much on easing the symptoms caused by the problem. If the focus remains solely on addressing the symptoms, then there’ll be increasingly more resources dedicated to dealing with the symptoms while the problem festers and grows. If you solve the underlying problem, all of that will go away and your work will be complete. For example, if you have regular headaches because of a brain tumor, the best way to get rid of the headaches is to get rid of the tumor rather than continuously taking pain relievers.
There are often many factors that must each be solved to eliminate a problem. Sometimes solving one or two of them will drastically improve the situation and make the problem much easier to resolve. This approach helps me avoid getting overwhelmed when I have a huge, complex task ahead of me. Additionally, I often think of what Earl Nightingale said about solving problems in this video, particularly the words he quoted from Robert Seashore: “Successful people are not people without problems. They’re simply people who’ve learned to solve their problems.” All of this has made it much easier for me to shift the focus away from merely addressing the symptoms of the underlying problem and focus instead on solving the problem, and I hope it does the same for you.