Being able to relax in difficult situations makes them much easier to handle. I started thinking about this on two separate occasions earlier in the week. The first situation took place in the shower. Whenever I take a cold shower, I brace myself for the initial hit and then try to relax as quickly as possible. Staying calm and breathing through it helps me get used to the temperature so that, after a minute or two, I can stand comfortably under the water and enjoy the cold. By the end, I barely even notice the temperature and I’m not shivering or uncomfortable at all. This allows me to enjoy cold showers and reap the physical and mental benefits they provide.
The second situation occurred at my job. I talked to a customer over the phone about something that had the potential to become contentious but, fortunately, it never did. In addition to the customer being a pretty easygoing person, I also used some things I learned from Never Split the Difference. Aside from keeping myself calm and maintaining a friendly voice, I gave the customer plenty of space to talk about their side of the matter without interrupting or disputing them. I also kept in mind that the problem wasn’t the customer, it was the underlying situation; that made it easier to treat the customer with kindness and respect as we both worked to resolve the situation. Lastly, when I paused to check something on the computer, I let them know what I was doing and used that bit of quiet time to think about what I would say next.
I’m still working on relaxing in as many situations as possible. Right now I manage to do it some of the time but not as much as I’d like. Seeing how much better I feel when I successfully accomplish it motivates me to keep working on it and thinking about how I’ve slowly gotten better at this over time gives me hope that I’ll continue improving as I go. What helps you relax in difficult situations? I’d love to hear from you about your experiences with this, so leave a comment if you like and I’ll see you in the next post.