Since it’s about halfway through 2026, I figured I’d check in to see how my goals for this year are going so far. This always lets me see which ones are on track and which could use some improvement. Here’s how they look at this point.
- Make peace my normal state. This one is mostly going well thanks to tons of letting go over the past month or two. In addition to working through recent difficulties, I’ve also gone deeper to address the many profound emotional wounds that occurred earlier in my life, including some that shaped my trauma responses and created most of the difficulties I’ve had since then. All of that work has made me feel much more at ease in everyday life, better handle some concerns that have arisen as of late, and let me return to a more peaceful state once the rough waters settle back down. I doubt I’d have gotten this far if the letting go technique hadn’t pulled me out of the deepest, darkest pit of grief, sorrow, and despair after my dog Sawyer died. Though it seemed like the pain would never end or even diminish in intensity, it gradually did both over the last four years. Though peace still eludes me at times, it finds me more than it has for most of my life.
- Stand up for myself without being a bully. I’m still struggling with this one. One way in which I’ve succeeded here is at the zoo. Almost every week, somebody sees me wearing my grandfather’s pith helmet, assumes I work there, and starts asking me stuff that I don’t know about. Rather than try to figure out how to answer them or risk giving them an incorrect answer, I simply say, “I don’t work here.” Far more often than not, those four words are enough to end the interaction and allow me to continue going about my day. However, sometimes when I’m driving, I end up not letting people over, honking needlessly, and otherwise taking out my frustration on others. I suppose some overcorrection is only natural after a lifetime of people pleasing and giving folks what they want out of fear more often than not. My hope is that continued healing will allow me to take a stand against bullies without joining their ranks.
- Get more sleep. Here’s my biggest struggle of the bunch. I tend to get plenty of quality sleep on my days off work. On workdays, however, I almost always fall short. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to go to bed at a decent time on worknights. Even worse is that my sleep quality on worknights tends to also suffer. I usually toss and turn, wake up during the night, and sometimes even check my phone out of fear that I’ve slept through my alarms. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet gotten myself out of the rut of insufficient sleep, and I fear that that won’t happen anytime soon. I hope to figure out a way out before 2026 ends.