Don’t Bring Me Your Problems as a Matter of Course

Don’t bring me your problems as a matter of course

And talk about your woes until your voice becomes hoarse

And certainly don’t start complaining away

Before you’ve even made sure that I’m feeling okay

I don’t want to hear about all the problems you’ve had

With all of the humans who’ve made you feel bad

If you want to make your issues with them flee

Then talk it all over with them, not with me

I can’t solve problems you have with another

Be it a friend, stranger, coworker, or mother

Nor make you feel better as I don’t control you

Only you can stop yourself from feeling blue

I’ll put it bluntly so that you know what I mean

Don’t make me all dirty so that you can feel clean

Keep all of your gossip and drama to yourself

Rather than dump it on me like a mischievous elf

I can think of fewer things that’d be more of a curse

Than you feeling better by making me feel worse

Let’s talk about nice things that we both want to hear

And make our time together ever so dear

I’d much prefer that to your using me

As an unpaid therapist only there to serve thee

All that that makes me want to do

Is find any way to steer clear of you

If you want to lean on me and I’m up to the task

Then before you start venting, always first ask

If I say yes, then continue you may

But if I say no, then not one dark word you will say

Missing Sawyer and other dogs and critters who’ve died

And tons of other experiences from which I have cried

Have made it so hard to enjoy my own life

That I want to avoid any and all kinds of strife

I’ve had enough parades ruined by rain

From those who have brought me even more pain

So if there’s lots on your mind and you’re feeling stuck

Take a page from programmers and talk to the duck