This post is a continuation of the series I announced in a recent post. The two books we’ll be examining today are 12 Rules for Life by Jordan Peterson and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. Let’s go.
The two fairly lengthy books are united by both being meant for self-improvement and having a fair number of fans. That’s about where their similarities stop. I find 12 Rules for Life to be confusing, needlessly overly complicated, and containing little actionable advice. Even when I read it years ago, I got the sensation of wanting to like and understand it more than I actually did. In contrast, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People is much easier to understand, comprehensive, and full of practical recommendations for every area of life. It’s essentially a one-stop shop for self-improvement books, in my opinion.
How about the authors themselves? Well, I used to enjoy Jordan Peterson’s psychological analyses of society and pop culture. At this point, though, I think he has the bad habit of going deep where it’s not needed and shallow where it would be better to go deep. He also focuses much more on thoughts than emotions, which means that he misses out on a lot of opportunity for personal growth, whether for himself or those who look to him for guidance. What’s more, he tends to make negative assumptions about those who appear to disagree with him and sees the world as an epic fight between good and evil; I’d rather see him strive for more civil conversations in areas of disagreement and realize that many of those who see things differently are pursuing a path that they believe will make things better rather than intentionally trying to make things worse. Additionally, I wish he would abandon the bad ideas that are integral to his philosophy (such as his foundational belief that “life is suffering”) and did more to practice what he preaches. Since he’s struggled so much in his own life over the past several years, it seems odd to hear him so strongly criticize the world and speak as if he has the answers to all the world’s problems.
My opinion of Stephen Covey is much more favorable. He’s someone I still admire and whose life seemed consistent with what his work advocated. Although he set a pretty high standard with his work, he was honest about his struggle to live the habits every day. In the few interviews I’ve seen of him, he comes across as very genuine, humble, and relatable. Exactly what I look for in a mentor, whether that mentor is someone I personally know or who has helped me indirectly through various works.
There’s nothing I can think of in 12 Rules for Life that helped me after my dog Sawyer died. In fact, I can easily imagine Jordan Peterson scolding me, telling me harshly to stop crying and keep on going, and perhaps even calling me or Sawyer a mean name while I was in the deepest grief of my life. Meanwhile, the empathic listening and self-care components in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People were invaluable to my recovery. I can imagine Stephen Covey hearing me out, comforting me by identifying how much I love Sawyer and how much his death hurt me, and encouraging me to take it easy while still taking good care of myself. I’ll take that gentle approach over the cruel approach any day.
Last time, I left off by saying that one book was decent, the other was excellent, and that both are worth a read if you have the time. This time, it’s different. I highly, highly recommend reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, and I highly, highly recommend avoiding 12 Rules for Life. Life is too short to spend time reading books like 12 Rules for Life that take you way down the wrong paths. You time is much better spent reading and practicing the wisdom contained in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.