The second agreement Don Miguel Ruiz covers in The Four Agreements is “Don’t Take Anything Personally”. Like the other agreements, this one is simple to explain, difficult to practice, and powerful in its effects.
Ruiz says that whatever someone else does to us is because of how they are, not because of how we are. With this empathetic mindset, it’s easy to give other people the benefit of the doubt and avoid being hurt by what they say or do. I should say that it’s easy to do this after practicing it for a while and making it a habit. Some people may be able to switch their thinking in an instant, but I find that incredibly difficult. It’s easy for me to avoid taking anything personally if I’ve been in that mindset for a week or more, but it’s difficult if I’ve spent a long time taking things personally.
When I’ve been in the wrong mindset for a while, I can misread what someone else does and think it’s about me when it really isn’t or think it’s negative even if it’s actually meant to be positive. Since I read The Four Agreements, I’ve gradually realized how often I take things personally, especially when I’m not paying attention. Breaking away from that habit and going through times of mental peace remind me how much better it is to live that way.
However, it’s so easy to slip back into old patterns of thinking without even realizing it. Once I’ve done that, I usually only notice it once it’s started causing problems for me. I’m going to try to break that habit by working on each of these agreements every day and perhaps focusing on a particular one if I feel drawn to it. I know from experience that the wisdom in The Four Agreements can provide a great deal of peace and personal freedom as long as I live by them, so that’s my plan. If you’re in a similar situation, I recommend getting the book and using its wisdom to improve your life. Thank you and I’ll see you next time.