Working through pain instead of trying to bury it has been integral to my personal growth. I’ve discovered that I’ll continue repeating lessons until I’ve learned them and that trying to avoid learning them only adds to my burden and, often, results in me learning the hard way. Avoiding certain people and situations isn’t sufficient, although it can be an essential aspect of the healing process, especially if I’m trying to get away from abuse. Without examining myself and figuring out what I need to change, however, I’ll simply keep ending up around similar people in similar situations. Fortunately there is a way to stop this cycle and be free.
When something keeps coming up in my life, I take it as a sign that I need to work on it. To do that, I’ll move to a place with as few distractions as possible, go as deeply as I can into whatever issue is on my mind, and allow myself to fully feel everything that comes up without trying to shut anything down or rush through it. Sometimes I’ll describe what I’m feeling to someone I trust, but that isn’t essential and it’s not always an option or even desirable. If nobody is around, I can talk myself through this, reminding myself when necessary that I’m ok and can continue working through whatever comes up. Total honesty is crucial here; if I’m dishonest with myself about anything that’s happening, I’ll just make the process longer and more difficult than it needs to be. Once I’ve fully experienced a certain kind of pain, it loses its power over me and becomes a harmless memory. That sometimes requires multiple sessions and a few different approaches, but it’s always worth it.
Even though I’ve gotten more comfortable with this process, I still don’t like doing it. I’d rather stick to things that are lighthearted and enjoyable and ignore the things that lurk in my shadow. However, I still make an effort at least once a week to work through something painful because I know it will make my life better. I’ll have much more personal freedom once I’ve healed that pain and am no longer controlled by it. I appreciate the feeling of lightness that comes with freeing myself from pain, which also makes me much more capable of handling whatever situation I’m in, even the difficult ones. Healing can be a painful process, whether the pain is physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual, but I’m willing to go through the pain and the discomfort since I know that there is peace on the other side.