This past weekend was weird. Each day featured something upsetting, whether big or small. Since there were plenty of good things surrounding the upsetting things, it turned out to be an ok weekend. Still, it reminded me of the critically important role that routines play in my life.
I may be the most routine-focused human I know. Nearly everything I do involves some kind of routine. That’s how I’ve developed and improved my skills at juggling, unicycling, emotional intelligence, and everything else. The good routines I’ve developed have allowed me to bounce back pretty well and enjoy the good moments that happen during the difficult times. When I felt super upset at some of the more painful things from this weekend, I couldn’t think straight or enjoy anything pleasant that did happen. Once the emotions settled down and I did some fun things, I could either appreciate the good that was happening at the time or that had happened in the midst of some great unpleasantness.
Unfortunately, I experience a lot of stress when my routines are disrupted. The worst days are the ones that most interfere with my morning and nighttime routines. It’s so much harder to start the day off well or bring it to a smooth landing if either of those routines get disrupted or have to be cut extremely short. I have an even harder time if I get hardly any time to myself or my hobbies in the middle part of the day. In contrast, when my morning and nighttime routines unfold as usual, even the most painful occurrences in between don’t seem nearly as bad. Sometimes I even forget about a painful event by the time I get into bed. That’s how powerful my routines are.
In addition to my usual routines, I also throw in more nice things as needed to recover from unusually difficult experiences or several painful experiences in a short span of time. This is mostly reserved for days in which everything seems to go wrong. When I have weeks or even months like that, I need lots of extra nice things over many days to recover. While this has turned into excess in the past, it doesn’t seem to do so anymore. For example, when I’m feeling majorly stressed due to repeated unpleasant occurrences, I’ll often eat some of my favorite unhealthy foods for a bit of comfort. Even when I eat a lot of that food, I still find it easy to resume my normal healthy eating habits once I feel better. That’s such a nice change of pace from past behaviors.
Routines have been absolutely essential in the time since my dog Sawyer’s death. The day he died, the routines we shared immediately went away. His absence and the absence of our routines left a huge hole in my life. To compensate, I started some new routines later that day and over the next few months, many of which I still do. These routines both honor him, keep his memory fresh within me, and ease the pain I’ve felt for over two years now. Even on busy days in which I’m far from home and have hardly any spare time, I make sure to do some version of those daily routines to keep me on track and prevent me from regressing in my healing journey. Whether or not anyone else understands or approves of them, I’m going to keep doing these routines until I no longer feel the need for them.
I can’t imagine my life without good routines. The familiarity and consistency they bring to a world that is largely unknown and scary provide me with a great deal of comfort. Most of the routines I have now weren’t always in place as they gradually arose in response to particular needs. As my needs have changed, so have my routines. However they change in the future, they will always involve plenty of rest, relaxation, self-care, and self-love across each area of my life (physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual). I have no idea what that will look like in the future, but I hope that whatever happens, I can develop new routines and adapt my existing ones to keep moving me into a better life situation.