This entry from The Daily Stoic resonates quite strongly with me. When I think back to the most difficult season of my life, I can become sad or angry at how much it hurt to go through everything that happened. However, I can also think of how I made it through that time and the ways it directed me toward most of the wonderful things I have in my life right now. Swing dancing, self-improvement, several of my closest friendships, and plenty more all either came shortly after that experience or as a direct result of it. As painful as it was at the time, I’m now grateful for what I learned during that time. While I wouldn’t wish suffering on anyone, I’d hope that any suffering they do experience ends up strengthening them and showing them how capable they are.
“I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent – no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.”
-Seneca, On Providence, 4.3
Most people who have gone through difficult periods in their life come to later wear those experiences as badges of honor. “Those were the days,” they might say, even though they now live in much better circumstances. “To be young and hungry again,” another might say wistfully. “It was the best thing that ever happened to em,” or “I wouldn’t change a thing about it.” As tough as those periods were, they were ultimately formative experiences. They made those people who they are.
There’s another benefit of so-called misfortune. Having experienced and survived it, we walk away with a better understanding of our own capacity and inner strength. Passing a trial by fire is empowering because you know that in the future you can survive similar adversity. “What does not kill me makes me stronger,” Nietzsche said.
So today if things look like they might take a bad turn or your luck might change, why worry? This might be one of those formative experiences you will be grateful for later.