For the past few weeks, I’ve been feeling a lot less social than I usually do. This is especially the case around people I hardly know or don’t know at all, but I’ve even felt this way around some of my closest friends. My job is very social and I think I’m still doing ok at connecting with people there. That’s probably the case because I love what I do, I mostly talk to just one person at a time, and I get to recharge by spending plenty of time by myself. Even so, it’s still taken a lot more effort for me to make those connections as of late. It’s been even more difficult when I’ve gone out purely for social reasons.
One aspect of this is that I’ve been having a hard time finding and maintaining interest in conversations. I still want to connect with people but I also don’t want to fake interest. Additionally, I’ve been feeling like a lot of the stuff that I’ve used as helpful aids in conversation is manipulative or shallow, which makes me want to avoid using it. Since I’ve leaned heavily on a lot of that stuff for the past few years, where can I go from here? I have an idea.
I’ve heard Penn Jillette explain his approach numerous times. He seeks to avoid trying to convince anyone to adopt his perspective since he sees that as manipulative and disrespectful. Instead, he simply shares his thoughts in an honest, straightforward fashion. That includes feeling whatever emotions he’s feeling at the time and saying what he thinks, even if it’s unpopular. He’s also completely open to the possibility that he might be wrong about anything, which allows him to genuinely listen to the perspectives of others. I think he’s onto something. I like how he describes that approach and the self-confidence he has that allows him to use such a direct approach. I probably won’t duplicate his style exactly since he and I have quite different personalities but I think that there’s a lot of good stuff in how he approaches these things.
In a few recent conversations I’ve had about how I’ve been feeling lately, the issue of confidence has come up. Some people who are close to me have expressed interest in helping me gain more self-confidence so that I can fully develop into the person I’m capable of becoming. I’ve had small tastes of that in the past. During some seasons in which I’ve had a great deal of confidence, I felt much more comfortable speaking my mind and interacting with nearly everyone I met. That deep sense of peace alongside a feeling that I’d be ok regardless of what happened allowed me to do some awesome things. I’d like very much for that to become the norm for me. I somehow figured out how to get there before, so I can absolutely find my way back if I apply myself.
Those conversations helped me feel better since they brought into the light a lot of stuff that was once hidden away and I think they also helped me pinpoint the causes of my confidence issues. If so, then I know what to do to heal that pain within myself and move forward into greater self-confidence and inner strength. I’m glad to know a lot of great life hacks to help me with this as well as some great people who are encouraging me and helping me get where I want to be in life.