Anyone who’s flown on a commercial airplane in the past few decades knows that if there’s an emergency and the masks drop down, they tell you to put on your mask first before trying help the person next to you put on theirs. I understood this in the context of flying but not in the context of my life. I spent years trying to think of how to solve some of the major problems in the world. Much of that time involved arguing with other people about ways that might or might not work, and, as you might have guessed, that arguing did nothing to make a positive difference. If anything, it set progress back because it sucked up time and energy that could have been spent doing productive things.
Once I realized that I can’t save even one other person if I’m barely keeping my head above water, my priorities completely changed. I had everything backwards: I was counting on the idea that changing the world would make my life better when I should have been getting my life together before trying to change the world. Soon, it became clear to me that I wouldn’t be able to change the world in any meaningful, lasting way as long as I continued treading water. If I wanted to make any lasting, positive difference, I’d have to get to a stable place in my own life first.
I spent more time working on myself and focusing on the areas of my life that needed fixing. Some might consider this selfish, but I had to do it if I wanted to be able to truly help other people; you can’t pour from an empty cup, and my cup had been empty for a long time. Taking time to rest, recharge, and rethink a lot of things in my life allowed me to reach out to others in ways I never could have before. By leaving a job I despised and getting one that I enjoyed much more and which also paid me better, I was able to give more money to people who needed help. I could give much better advice when someone wanted it because I had spent a lot of time figuring out solutions to my own problems, which improved my understanding of what works and what doesn’t. Gradually ridding myself of toxicity, whether it came from within myself or from those around me, allowed me to be more positive and compassionate toward others.
I’ve always felt called to help people, but I had to learn that I have to help myself first. Since I realized this, I’ve set aside time every day to breathe, meditate, pray, learn, and do some activity that’s purely about leisure. And, as I said in the previous paragraph, that’s been a huge benefit to both me and the people I’ve been able to help because of it. I don’t get burnt out anymore, I have much more patience, I have a greater ability to share what I have with those who can benefit from it, and I have a clearer picture than ever before of what the fulfillment of my life purpose may look like. Whether you’re pouring yourself out for your job, business, charitable cause, family, friends, or passions, please remember to save some time for yourself. You’ll be glad you did.