Stress During Peaceful Times

Posted on October 15, 2025 by admin

Over the last few years, I’ve noticed something odd about emotional work. Sometimes when I focus on letting go of negative emotions, I have a hard time doing so. In other situations when I’m not focused on emotions, negative emotions will come up without any effort. They can come up in stressful situations, naturally, and they also tend to come up during peaceful times, such as weekends or on trips. Here’s my take on this.

I used to hate this every time it happened as I didn’t want any negativity to ruin the peaceful times. Most of the time now, I see it as signs that I’m feeling good enough to let negativity come up without overwhelming me and use it as an opportunity to release pain so that it no longer haunts me in good or bad times. That lets me enjoy the good times even more when more of the bad is gone, makes the remaining bad easier to handle when it comes up elsewhere in life, and makes the bad less likely to linger indefinitely.

I got pretty comfortable doing this in sensory deprivation floats several years ago. With all the craziness that I’ve experienced since then and how little free time I have at this point, it’s gotten harder to use peaceful times to work through painful emotions. I’d rather let those times just be peaceful since I have so much stress on a regular basis. That makes it extra challenging to let pain come up when I’m trying to relax and enjoy some downtime. I still do my best to do so, though, as it allows me to more easily enjoy lovely moments even after something upsetting happens. For example, when I felt extremely upset at the Magic Kingdom earlier this year, I was able to welcome the emotions effectively enough to feel much better and enjoy the remainder of my trip there that afternoon. Crying, having ice cream, meeting several of the characters, and experiencing more fun attractions turned what could easily have been a disastrous trip into one that was still wonderful despite the upsets.

As you’ll know if you’ve read most of my other posts over the last 3 and a half years, this is what has allowed me to enjoy life even after my dog Sawyer and other loved ones have died. In contrast, trying to force myself to smile, act as if I feel good, and everything else that ignores the pain has only ever made me feel worse. It saddens me that pretending the pain isn’t there has become the norm, whether for oneself or with others. Just as in Inside Out how Sadness successfully comforted Bing Bong by listening and responding compassionately to his pain while Joy failed by trying to make him ignore his pain, so, too, in real life does healing come from feeling.

The progress I’ve made lately has given me hope that it’ll become easier to let negative feelings come up in good times. My general mood has been much higher than usual, I’ve gotten over upsetting things much more quickly, and I’m better able to completely forget about work when I’m at home later in the day. I sincerely hope that this is the start of my new normal rather than just a temporary increase in peace. Time will tell, and practice will make it more likely to become permanent.

Posted in Great Movies, Inspirational People, Life Hacks, Personal Freedom, Self-Improvement | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Stress During Peaceful Times

Reflections on My Healing Journey

Posted on October 8, 2025 by admin

I started my self-improvement journey in 2017. That journey went to the next level in late 2020 when I started practicing the letting go technique that I first learned from reading Letting Go by David Hawkins in 2019. While 2020 and most of the years since have been incredibly painful, I have healed enough to reflect on how it’s gone. Let’s explore some of those reflections together in this post.

Over time, my journey has gone from self-improvement to healing. There is a lot that I added to my life in the first few years of taking this stuff seriously. In contrast, the last 5 years have been more focused on removing things, mostly various kinds of emotional pain from different points in my life. By far the greatest pain I’ve dealt with in my life is the death of my dog Sawyer in April 2022. Nothing has made me cry longer and harder or depleted me so much. Thanks to using the letting go technique every day since that dreadful day, most of the pain around Sawyer’s death is now gone, thank goodness. As such, I often forget how bad that pain was until I look back at things I wrote or reflect on things I did to cope with the pain while it was still overwhelming. Just as David Hawkins wrote in Letting Go, once all the emotions around a particular situation have been surrendered, the memory of that situation and all its pain tends to go away. It’s been incredible to verify that for myself.

The fact that I’ve released so much of the pain of Sawyer’s death allows me to focus more on other kinds of pain, especially deep-seated pain from early in my life that has never been healed. In a way, the pain around Sawyer was easier to heal than the early life pain. The Sawyer pain was much fresher, easier to experience, and so overwhelming that I had to work through it. In contrast, the early life pain has been suppressed for so many decades at this point that it’s extremely difficult to reach, let alone work through, especially since I’m so used to it by now. Additionally, all of the healing work I’ve done has always been easier when I can focus more on the feelings than whatever thoughts arise out of those feelings, and I have decades’ worth of thoughts built up around the early life pain. That’s another major obstacle to healing that particular pain.

There are several things helping me with the deeper pain. One of them is focusing on just one emotion at a time. With this particular pain, I often feel a combination of fear, anger, sadness, disappointment, shock, and several other emotions. That can be quite overwhelming. By tuning in to whichever emotion is strongest at any given moment, I can let that run its course more easily than if I try to release them all at the same time. That also prevents an onslaught of thoughts that distract me and take me away from the healing work.

Another huge help is remembering the successful healing work I’ve already done. A big pain that I healed toward the end of 2020 is especially useful for that. I got quite creative with how I addressed that and went at it from all kinds of different angles. The final piece of that puzzle was realizing that I didn’t have to try to bear anyone else’s pain in that situation. Once I let go of that expectation, the deed was done and I was free. I have a feeling that a similar approach will also help me work through this lifelong pain.

Working through the pain from 2020 felt like walking a long road, and healing the pain from Sawyer’s death was like swimming a long way to shore after a shipwreck. Working through the early life pain is more like chipping away at a mountain. Given enough time, I’ll have worked through it all. The only question is, will I have enough time over the remainder of my Earthly life to make that happen? The 2020 pain was easier and faster to work through since I was still floating in sensory deprivation tanks at least once a week, and I made working through the Sawyer pain my main focus for almost two years because I had almost no obligations during that time. Now that my day job takes up so much of my time during the week and my hobbies and interests take up so much of my time on weekends, I often wonder if that leaves me enough time for the major healing work that has gotten me through some of the darkest times in my life. My healing progress seems minimal at this point and sometimes I even seem to regress. That’s always disheartening.

My focus as of late has been to let go as best as I can, wherever I can. While I prefer to let go while sitting or lying down with my eyes closed for 15 minutes at a time, I’ll take whatever I can get at this point. That might mean lying down to let go for just a few minutes, feeling through some emotions while driving, or letting old issues run out in the background while engaged in another activity. Slow progress is better than no progress and far better than regression. I hope that continuing to do this while also getting in some longer letting go sessions when I can will take me back to the wonderful place of peace that I glimpsed years ago and finally let me live there for the rest of my days.

Posted in Adventures, Getting Along with Each Other, Great Books, Inspirational People, Life Hacks, Personal Freedom, Self-Improvement | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Reflections on My Healing Journey

Let Me Not Explain

Posted on October 1, 2025 by admin

Explanations are a weird thing for me. In some cases, I enjoy talking at length about particular things. In other cases, however, I hate doing that very thing. Here’s what I mean.

I can talk all day about things I enjoy. Juggling is a perfect example. At the juggling meetings I host twice a month, I often get to introduce people to or remind them of different patterns, techniques, variations, and so on. Although plenty of people know more about juggling than I do, I’ve absorbed quite a bit in the twenty years that I’ve been juggling, so I have a lot to share with others. I love explaining different things in juggling and seeing the lightbulb turn on over someone’s head when they’ve learned something new or thought about something in a different way.

The kind of explanations I hate giving are about my personal issues. There are multiple reasons for that. One of them is how I fear the other person will respond. When I talk about my concerns, I don’t want judgment, someone else’s opinions or experiences, criticism, condemnation, etc. I just want love, understanding, and compassion. Unfortunately, I so often receive that which I hate and so seldom receive that which I want. Even when I say what I want, others still often ignore my wishes and say whatever they want instead. If that’s going to happen more often than not, I’d rather just stay quiet and keep my concerns to myself.

The other kind of explanations I hate giving are ones where there is nothing to explain. Sometimes nothing will be happening and yet someone will still ask, “What?” (or asks that after I sigh or make any small movement) instead of just sharing a quiet moment with me. I then feel pressured to give an explanation for something that doesn’t need explaining. Just the act of striving to think of how to explain the inexplicable tires me out and attempting to do so is even more draining. That leads nicely into my next point.

Talking is generally tiring to me, and it’s occasionally downright exhausting. That’s even more the case when I’m explaining at length something that I don’t even want to talk about. When that happens, it seems that the more tired I feel, the more others want me to keep talking. Or they’ll take over at some point and talk my ear off. Listening to lengthy explanations is exhausting for me as well, especially when I’m trying to understand all the disjointed, random points and subject changes somebody is making while talking almost faster than I can hear. How does anyone enjoy an exchange in which the other person contributes little to nothing and doesn’t care about what the person talking has to say?

On far too many occasions, I’ve spent an enormous number of words (either typed out or spoken) explaining a perspective or tendency of mine only for the other person to instantly dismiss it as soon as I’m finished. That always hurts and makes it seem as if they care so much about making sure I know what they think that they won’t take even a moment to think about what I’ve said before waving it away. The worst time this happens is whenever someone gets on a soapbox about my dog Sawyer’s death. It’s exhausting to hear and respond to questions or demands about getting another animal friend, explaining why I haven’t and don’t plan to, what others think I “should” do to heal from his death, etc. I always appreciate those who don’t do any of that and who’d rather hear stories about Sawyer, see pictures of him, and other similarly wholesome things.

On many other occasions, I’ll explain why I will or won’t do something to somebody and they then try to find a foothold to get what they want. For example, I can say I’m not going to an event because I have a gig that day and they ask what time my gig is, as if I can go either before or after the gig. Similarly, I can say I’m not going somewhere because I have work that day and, after finding out what time I get off work, they’ll say I can just go after work. In any kind of situation like that, I’d rather they just accept my “no” without trying to pressure me into changing my mind or demanding an explanation. “No is a complete sentence” is one of my favorite boundary statements, and I’m enjoying getting better at saying no without adding anything onto it.

Something else I’ve realized is that explanations are extremely close to defensiveness. When someone challenges me to explain something, especially if they do so in an intense way, I feel a combination of fear and anger come up. As if what I’ve said or done isn’t good enough and I need their permission or forgiveness for it. Most defensiveness I’ve seen and experienced seems to come from insecurity. When I feel secure about something, I feel no need to defend it; it can stand on its own with no support from me. Additionally, the more I explain or defend something, the more others seem to attack it. If I simply let it be without trying to shape another person’s opinion of it, they’re far more likely to leave it alone. I always appreciate whenever that happens.

No more needless explanations from me. If somebody lacks the commitment to understand what I’m saying (or worse, is committed to *misunderstanding* what I’m saying), then I won’t waste my breath explaining anything to them. Similarly, if I don’t want to explain something or there is nothing to explain, I won’t. I’ll continue describing my inner world on this blog, and anyone who wishes to gain a deeper understanding of what makes me tick can easily obtain that by reading the many posts I’ve put up here over the years. In conversation, however, I’ll continue explaining only that which I wish to explain and keep using the various tools I’ve found helpful for doing so (such as saying, “Because,” “No,” “Nope,” “I’d rather not say,” and “I don’t like talking about ______,” asking questions about the other person to take the focus off of me, and simply staying quiet). Remembering that it’s ok for me to set and maintain boundaries in conversation, giving myself permission to practice it, and finding ways to make it happen have already made me feel more at ease around others. I’m sure I’ll feel even more comfortable as I continue finding and using my voice. Or not using it as the case may be.

Posted in Communication, Getting Along with Each Other, Life Hacks, Personal Freedom, Self-Improvement | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Let Me Not Explain

Incentives vs Healing

Posted on September 24, 2025 by admin

There are plenty of proposed solutions for the many problems plaguing the world. From what I’ve seen, they broadly fall into one of two categories, which I’ll call the incentives approach and the healing approach. The incentives approach uses a combination of rewards and punishments in an attempt to steer everyone toward certain kinds of behavior and away from other kinds. The healing approach involves looking under the surface to find out why people behave as they do and what can be done to change things at a deeper level. Here is my take on both of them.

If you’ve read my post on punishment, then you might already have guessed that I dislike the incentives approach. There’s far too much pain in the world, and most of the pain humans cause each other (and other species) could be eliminated. Punishment only adds to the pain and keeps existing problems going, so I’m completely opposed to that as a way to change behavior. After all, I want others to treat me well because they care about me, not because they fear what might happen to them if they treat me poorly. How about you?

Even if punishment were dropped altogether and only rewards were used to influence, that is still only a surface-level approach. It focuses much more on the person doing the influencing than on the person being influenced and doesn’t take into consideration the reasons that the person being influenced may not want to do what’s being asked of them. It also tends to make one see others as human doings rather than human beings, which causes all kinds of problems. One of those problems is making it easier to harm, wish harm upon, or be ok with harm inflicted on anyone who doesn’t do as they’re told. Hardly a recipe for true, lasting peace.

In addition to the cruelty, another big downside of the incentives approach is that a system based on punishment and threats of punishments has to keep using them incessantly to get close to the desired outcomes. The question that naturally arises, then, is what happens if the threats and punishments fail or can’t be used? What happens if people who normally can’t get away with intentionally hurting others can suddenly do just that? In such situations, whether they’re families, schools, prisons, or entire countries, there is often violent breakdown and almost always death as folks turn on each other. Those in power and those without power are both often hurt and killed as tons of suppressed anger explodes on everyone and everything in sight. Much of that anger comes from those who’ve been punished and want revenge, which is the same issue created by attempting to solve problems through fighting. There must be a better way, and I believe there is.

The healing approach is quite different. Ultimately, it is all about getting down to the root cause of bad behavior. By finding out the why behind the what, several things become possible. One of them is having compassion for someone who is almost certainly acting out due to some deep-seated pain. That compassion is sometimes enough on its own to inspire a lasting change in behavior. Even if it doesn’t accomplish all of that, it still makes it much easier to find the source of that pain and figure out ways to heal it.

Here’s an example of the different approaches in action. Suppose someone shows up quite late to work for the third day in a row. The incentives approach would be to punish them and threaten to increase the punishment if they’re late again, with little to no interest in what’s making them late. The healing approach would use curiosity and compassion to find out that they’re arriving late because of overwhelming grief due to the death of a loved one that makes it hard for them to sleep, wake up, keep track of time, and so on. Once that underlying pain is discovered, healing becomes possible, which would make it much easier for the person to resume arriving to work on time. If you were showing up late due to grief over losing a loved one, which approach would you prefer to receive?

You might be wondering what makes me think this actually works. Aside from the logic of this idea, there are real-world examples of it in action. There is my own experience with the letting go technique as described in Letting Go by David Hawkins. That has allowed me to heal from some incredibly pain situations (most notably, my dog Sawyer’s death), increased my courage, and made my life far better than it was before I started letting go. Beyond that, there are prisons in some countries that focus on rehabilitation rather than punishment. They seem to have great success even with those who’ve hurt or killed others in brutal ways in that those folks are extremely unlikely to hurt anyone again once they get out of prison. Most powerfully of all, as I’ve written about before, MDMA therapy and psychedelic therapy have shown to be incredibly effective at healing trauma and even totally eliminating PTSD. Anything that heals trauma will release fear and anger, dramatically reduce violence, improve physical health, strengthen relationships with others, etc. That is far more effective than offering rewards for good behavior or punishment for bad behavior. Indeed, when enough negative emotions have been released, you will no longer even wish to do things that hurt others, let alone actually do them.

I have an example of how I used the healing approach with Sawyer one night. Long after I had told him good night and he went to bed in my parents’ room, he came knocking on my door. After I put him back to bed multiple times only for him to continue knocking, following me around, and vocalizing, I realized he probably needed to go outside. I took him out, he took care of some business, and he went to bed just fine once we came back inside. If I had instead used the incentives approach to punish him for getting out of bed, then that probably would have made our relationship worse, and he might have had an accident in the house, which would have been bad for everybody. Thinking about the root cause of his behavior allowed me to figure out the problem and help him solve it, which took hardly any time, improved our relationship, and gave everybody a good night.

Here is another good example of using the healing approach with Sawyer. Another night, also after he had gone to bed, I was about to turn in for the night when I saw him on the foyer floor. Figuring that he was likely there to cool off, I took him and his cool pad back to my parents’ room before going to bed myself. While I don’t know if he went back to the foyer at all during the night, my parents seemed to think that he stayed in their room once he had the cool pad there to cool off as needed. Again, I’m glad I figured out what he was needing and gave it to him rather than feeling upset and punishing him for getting out of bed.

The more I look at the problems in the world, the more I see failures of the incentives approach to solve those problems. Further, the more I see new problems that the incentives approach creates while trying to solve the older problems by using violence in an attempt to bring peace. In contrast, I see incredible success with the healing approach in the few places it is used, which reminds me that peace can only come via peaceful means. While that gives me some hope for a better future, I still worry that so much harm has already been done by incentives that any progress obtained by healing will be too little, too late. I hope I’m wrong about that. Either way, I’ll continue healing myself as best as I can and enjoying the benefits that come along with that approach to life.

Posted in Communication, Getting Along with Each Other, Great Books, Inspirational People, Life Hacks, Personal Freedom, Self-Improvement | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Incentives vs Healing

Don’t Take Fun Too Seriously

Posted on September 17, 2025 by admin

There’s a concept in martial arts called Shu-Ha-Ri. In short, it’s about the progression of learning from the beginning stage to the expert stage. It’s been in the back of my head since I first learned about it a while ago and I’d like to talk about it in this post.

The first stage is Shu. At this stage, the learner copies the teacher exactly in order to learn basic skills. Once the learner has the basics down, he moves onto the Ha stage. While he still has some observation of the basics at this stage, he has much more freedom to experiment by tweaking things to match his own style, skills, limitations, etc. This is taken to the fullest extent at the Ri stage. At that point, the learner can throw out what he’s been taught and make up his own rules as he finds things that work well by thinking outside the box and getting increasingly more creative.

While this comes from martial arts, it can apply to any learnable skill. For example, early in my swing dancing journey, one instructor talked about learning the basics and then throwing the rules out the window later on. While some dancers insist on sticking to the rules as closely as possible, the ones who seem to have the most fun and attract the most attention from others bend and even break the rules as they see fit. In fact, when someone I’m dancing with apologizes for making a harmless mistake, I’ll often say, “We dance for fun, not for money.” That helps remind us both that this is meant to be a fun hobby rather than something to take ultra seriously.

The little knowledge I have of musical instruments seems to reinforce the notion of copy first, create later. So many aspiring musicians spend long hours learning scales until they have them down solidly. From there, they can play nearly anything they like, and many of them learn how to improvise as they play. Even if they play the same songs repeatedly, they can mix them up so much that they sound different every time they’re played.

The fairly large amount of knowledge I have with juggling is how I know this concept works outside of martial arts. Lots of basic juggling guides and tutorials start off with just one object and move on to two and three as skill increases. Some of them even have certain postures and body positions to use. Once the basics are down, it becomes possible to modify everything for your arm lengths, aesthetic preferences, equipment used, juggling goals, etc.

This comes up at times in the art world because of Bob Ross. Although many critics complain about art classes in which every participant ends up with a painting that looks like all the other paintings, that’s the exact opposite of what Bob wanted. In many episodes of The Joy of Painting, Bob said, “We’re not trying to teach you to copy. We’re trying to teach you a technique and then turn you loose on the world.” He encouraged viewers to paint whatever they wanted and to add as much detail as they liked, especially since they could spend as much time as they wanted with each painting while he was limited to a half hour for each episode.

I recently experienced something similar to this when drawing Minnie Mouse at Animal Kingdom’s Art of Animation class. All the drawings likely looked similar since the instructor showed us how to draw Minnie from a particular perspective. So what? Art doesn’t have to be entirely unique and original. Lots of works of art feature humans, animals, places, events, and objects that are seen in other works and positions in society. Indeed, if art had to be wholly original and unlike every other piece of art, then it would quickly run out as there is only so much that can be done before arriving at something similar to what someone else has made. With the Minnie drawings, despite their similarities, each one was still personalized by whoever drew it, and everyone seemed to enjoy the experience. What’s wrong with that?

While I’ve focused heavily on moving on to more advanced stages after mastering the beginner levels, I’d also like to say a few things about sticking with the basics. Out of everyone in the world who learns to juggle, most will stay with just three objects and only one or two patterns at most. Even if many of them have the potential to learn many more patterns and several more numbers, it’s ok if they don’t want to go that far. The same applies for anyone who draws, paints, sculpts, makes music, or otherwise pursues a personal interest. Hobbies are for fun, and anyone who has fun with a hobby is on the right track.

In summary, I wish nobody would discourage someone who starts out with little skill at a particular activity. How else is skill developed? Even those with natural talent can still greatly improve their abilities with practice. Likewise, don’t discourage someone who enjoys something even if he’s not very good at it or doesn’t take it as far as possible. It’s perfectly fine for anyone to just enjoy something without trying to be the best in the world at it. Simplicity in life is wonderful and leads to some of the best times. My best times in life were hanging out with my dog Sawyer, enjoying some fun hobbies, and being around good humans. That’s much better than struggling to reach the highest possible levels in a particular skill or criticizing those who are fine with their current skill level, and I’m so glad to be keeping things simple now.

Posted in Adventures, Getting Along with Each Other, Inspirational People, Life Hacks, Personal Freedom, Self-Improvement | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Don’t Take Fun Too Seriously

Why I Love Character Meet and Greets

Posted on September 10, 2025 by admin

Last week, I wrote about my recent trip to Animal Kingdom in Disney World. I’m still fondly reminiscing about it, especially the interactions I had with costumed characters. Those are always some of my favorite parts of Disney trips. In addition to thinking about how good they make me feel, I’ve also been pondering why I find their interactions so comfortable and free from fear while most normal human interactions I have are uncomfortable and generally contain lots of fear. Here are some ideas I have about that.

To start, I don’t know if I ever actually met any costumed characters at Disney World until my trip to the Magic Kingdom back in July. If I met any as a kid, I’ve long since forgotten about it. As an adult, it was such a thrill to meet Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald and Daisy Duck, Goofy, Pluto, Chip ‘n’ Dale, Russell, and Dug on my two most recent trips. I’m glad I took advantage of the opportunities to see them all instead of letting some initial hesitations dissuade me.

All the characters I’ve met always appear glad to see me and I’m always glad to see them. They welcome me just as warmly as they do with kids even though I’m in my early 30’s. Aside from greeting me with warm hugs and friendly faces, they make me feel safe, comfortable, and excited to be around them due to their familiarity. Since I’ve seen them in movies and shows since I was a kid, I feel totally at ease around them as seeing them is like visiting old friends.

At each character greeting, it always seems like it’s only me and the character or characters I’m meeting. I never have to split my attention between the characters and other guests or vice versa when it’s my turn. They make it extremely easy to forget about all the other guests and make me feel comfortable to act silly, enthusiastically, and have fun with them. Short visits of just a minute or two at most with the characters (and most of my visits have been less than a minute) ensures that the interactions don’t go on so long that they become uncomfortable.

While some costumed characters speak, the fact that all of the characters I’ve met don’t speak gives me more room to talk than I usually get in interactions and also allows for some lovely silent moments, such as when we’re sharing a hug or posing for a picture. That said, I don’t monologue to them or make the whole conversation about me. At Animal Kingdom, I complimented Mickey and Minnie’s cool safari hats, learned about Goofy’s favorite bird to see while birdwatching, and told Russell that he’ll someday get the one merit badge he’s missing. There is a wonderful synergy in creating these wonderful interactions together, whether I or the character introduces a topic or takes the interaction in a particular direction. That is much nicer than the desperation to speak that pervades so many other kinds of interactions and more often than not results in me getting steamrolled and never getting to talk about what interests me while the other participant(s) ramble on endlessly about whatever they want.

It will be no surprise to anyone who’s read my blog a lot that I especially enjoyed meeting the three dog characters: Goofy, Pluto, and Dug. Pluto was my favorite of the three to meet as he acted most like a dog during our visit, such as enjoying a good scratch by his ear and giving me a “kiss” when we said goodbye. Seeing him spin around with excitement when I told him dogs are my favorite animal was also a lot of fun. Visiting with him, Goofy, and Dug reminded me of visiting with my late dog Sawyer and brought me even more comfort than I usually get from character meetings.

Earlier today, I realized one reason that it was so nice to talk with Goofy about bird watching. When my grandparents were alive, I enjoyed sitting with them and watching the birds in their backyard. In fact, one of the gifts my family and I got my grandmother for her final birthday just over a year ago was a bird feeder with a camera so she could watch on her phone any bird who landed on the feeder. While none of that was consciously on my mind during my visits with Goofy, I’m sure it was in there subconsciously.

After getting back from Animal Kingdom, I had a rough week at work. My normal workweek is four days, and last week it was only three days due to Labor Day. Still, each workday was worse than the last, and I felt terrible emotionally by the time the weekend arrived. I wish I could have gotten big hugs from Disney characters throughout that week as I’m sure they would have made me feel much better. That week reminded me how awful folks can be in regular life in contrast to how wonderful they can be at Disney. It also made me wish I could just go to Disney World all day every day and have fun around kind humans while leaving the cruel ones alone to rot in their misery.

I think most of those who work as costumed characters have a lot of love for what they bring to visitors. I can imagine that it might be just a job for some, although I can’t imagine anyone doing that kind of job who hates it. The only time I can see that happening is if someone is truly desperate for work and that’s the only job they can get. There are plenty of other jobs with lots of customer interactions that don’t require nearly as much patience, compassion, enthusiasm, and love as character work. Anyone who has taken classes in acting, improvisation, mime, and so on to enhance their character work has put far more effort into their job than anyone I’ve ever seen in retail, food service, call centers, help desks, etc. All the Disney character interactions I’ve had have seemed as if there’s a lot of love coming through from beginning to end, and I believe that most of those folks are pouring straight from their own hearts with every autograph, high-five, and hug.

Costumed characters always make me feel happy and welcomed. Their big, warm hugs and friendly interactions keep me smiling and feeling good for days afterward. Whether I was already feeling good or down in the dumps, all the characters I’ve met have cheered me up just by being friendly and welcoming me with big hugs, sweet photos, and fun interactions. Several of them have drawn me a heart in the air with their hands! That’s a wonderful way to show love and concern without saying a word. It’s always well worth the wait to meet the characters on Disney trips and I look forward to meeting even more of them on future trips.

Posted in Adventures, Communication, Getting Along with Each Other, Inspirational People | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Why I Love Character Meet and Greets

A Wild Time at Animal Kingdom

Posted on September 3, 2025 by admin

Last weekend, I spent two days at Animal Kingdom in Disney World. I primarily went to say goodbye to the Boneyard and the rest of Dinoland, U.S.A. since I’m not sure if I’ll be back at Animal Kingdom before that land goes extinct. The Boneyard closed forever yesterday, so I definitely wanted to check that out while it was still open. I’m glad to say I got to experience Dinoland and all the fun it had to offer, plus plenty of other lovely attractions throughout Animal Kingdom. I’ve got a lot to say about it all, so here we go.

My first day at Animal Kingdom was mostly good. I got to the park a few hours after opening and started off by seeing several animals on trails near the front entrance. When I saw Pluto doing a meet and greet nearby, I hopped in line to meet him. He loved seeing the dog picture on my shirt and spun around with excitement when I told him dogs are my favorite animal. He even gave me a “kiss” when we said goodbye! I then made my way to Dinoland where I rode Dinosaur and had lots of fun meeting Chip ‘n’ Dale by the Cretaceous Trail. That was a lovely surprise as I didn’t know they’d be over there when I went to explore that trail.

By that point, I was ready for lunch. I had a delicious lunch at Restaurantosaurus before going to see the Feathered Friends in Flight! bird show. That was one of the big highlights of my trip. Another huge highlight came from petting and brushing a variety of animals at the Affection Section petting area. Unfortunately, after I looked at the many animals on display inside the Conservation Station, I walked outside to find rain. The poncho I brought with me helped quite a bit, although some of my pockets still got soaked. Fortunately, everything in them was ok. Unfortunately, the rain and some power issues affecting all of Disney World meant several attractions closed down early. I finished off the day by having some delicious chocolate ice cream and meeting Mickey and Minnie Mouse. That cheered me up a lot and brought the first day in for a smooth landing.

Fortunately, day two was even better. There was no rain in the park at all! Traffic was so light that I got to the front entrance of the park right after it opened. I rode one of the first Kilimanjaro Safaris of the day and still saw a fair number of animals despite the early voyage. After that, I rode Expedition Everest in no time flat thanks to the single rider line. That gave me enough time to get back to Conservation Station where I watched Dr. Dan examine a dove before generously answering a lot of guest questions. After petting the animals again, I thoroughly enjoyed coloring a butterfly wristband before meeting Donald Ducky, Goofy, Daisy Duck, and Russell and Dug from Up.

Then it was back to Conservation Station for more animal pets and the Animation Experience. The instructor taught us how to draw Minnie Mouse. I enjoyed that a lot and was surprised how well mine turned out, given that I rarely ever draw. Once that class ended, I stopped off for lunch at Restaurantosaurus again, met Goofy once more to talk with him about bird watching, and decided to meet Minnie and Mickey again to show them the drawing. They both loved it and signed it for me! Things took a bit of a negative turn after that when I realized I wouldn’t get to see Festival of the Lion King or ride Kali River Rapids before the park closed. I’m glad to say I still got to see the wonderful Finding Nemo: The Big Blue… and Beyond! live stage show. I finished my day in Animal Kingdom by looking at animals on several of the trails, walking through the Boneyard, and saying goodbye to all of Dinoland. After exploring the Rainforest Cafe located just outside the front entrance, I went on an unexpected journey to ride the Skyliner before heading home.

For this trip, I used the last two days of a four-day ticket I bought back in June; the first two days got me into the Magic Kingdom on Independence Day weekend. Similarly to my previous Disney trip, I stayed with a friend who lives close to the park. I also made a spreadsheet of the wait times and duration times for the attractions I most wanted to experience just like I did with the Magic Kingdom. That helped immensely with planning, strategizing, and also giving me enough time to enjoy the park at a slower pace while still accomplishing almost everything that I wanted to do plus enjoying some other unexpected activities.

Indeed, the only attractions on my list that I didn’t get to experience were Festival of the Lion King and the Kali River Rapids. Not bad considering how much extra stuff I got to do and the fact that Animal Kingdom is open for fewer hours than any other Disney World theme park. While I feel a bit upset that I didn’t get to experience those two attractions, I have hope that I can experience them on a future trip since I haven’t heard of any plans to remove either of them. If I could do it over again, I’d have done the same activities with more efficiency and possibly gotten to the park earlier on the first day to free up enough time to do everything on my list.

I feel a bit sad that I didn’t get to see and say goodbye to It’s Tough to Be a Bug! as that show closed down in March. I didn’t have nearly enough money then for a Disney trip, so my final time seeing the show was many years ago. While I did watch a YouTube video of the final It’s Tough to Be a Bug! show shortly after it closed, I would have loved to have seen it in person one last time. Similarly, I wish I could have said goodbye to Chester and Hester’s Dino-Rama. That was a part of Dinoland that paid homage to old roadside attractions and carnivals with rides, games, a restaurant, and a gift shop. While the remains of that area finally closed this year, it was gradually going extinct for years as more and more parts of it were removed. I’ll miss the fun it brought, and I’ll especially miss seeing the big, smiling Cementosaurus statue who greeted visitors until he was demolished earlier this year.

The most frustrating part of my trip was the Skyliner adventure. Although I succeeded in riding the Skyler and had fun onboard, doing so meant that I didn’t get home until around 12:30 am. If I’d skipped the Skyliner, I’d have gotten home about three hours earlier. I think there was a much more efficient way to get to the loading station than the way I ended up taking, especially considering how backed up the buses got. Better yet, I wish I’d ridden the Skyliner during my trip to Disney’s Hollywood Studios in late May. There is a loading station right in front of that park, so that would have been incredibly efficient if I’d ridden it back then, plus I would have gotten home from Animal Kingdom much earlier than I actually did.

Another upsetting part of the trip was my inability to find a particular pressed penny machine that made dinosaur pennies. I wanted to get some as souvenirs from Dinoland before that part of the park closes forever. Despite learning that the machine was supposedly in Restaurantosaurus, I couldn’t find it anywhere. I posted about this on social media earlier this week and offered to pay back anyone who manages to get me some pressed pennies on their next Animal Kingdom trip. Shortly afterward, a friend of mine kindly bought the ones I wanted online and is sending them to me! I look forward to seeing them when they arrive and displaying them alongside my Muppets and Liberty Belle riverboat pressed pennies from previous Disney trips.

Many of the smaller experiences were among my favorite parts of this trip. I loved walking the trails and seeing the many animals along each one. That reminded me of visiting my local zoo and allowed me to see other kinds of animals that I don’t normally get to see. Drawing was even more enjoyable than I thought it’d be, and coloring the butterfly wristband (which was a total surprise as I didn’t know that was an available activity) was so relaxing. I loved how both the coloring and the drawing allowed me to be creative and enjoy the process without trying to force a certain outcome. Just as Bob Ross always talked about how painting is supposed to make you feel happy, the drawing instructor reminded us several times that we can choose what details we want to add and that the process is meant to be a fun activity for us to do while we’re on vacation.

As you’ve already guessed if you’ve read my blog in the past, petting and brushing the animals was my favorite part of Animal Kingdom. While I’m used to petting goats and stingrays at my local zoo, the Affection Section allowed me to pet some sheep, a pig, and a donkey. That might have been my first time petting and brushing those animals as I don’t have any recollection of doing that anywhere before. I’m so glad I got to pet the super soft sheep, sleepy pig named Dottie, and sweet donkey. I teared up a bit while saying goodbye to all the animals since some of them might die before I go back. It’s fairly common for me to do that ever since my dog Sawyer’s death, especially with animals that I’m going to be away from for a long time.

I absolutely loved meeting the costumed characters as well. They always make me feel happy and welcomed. Their big, warm hugs and friendly interactions keep me smiling and feeling good for days afterward. As nice as it was to meet Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, and Goofy again, I’m so glad I also got to meet Pluto, Chip ‘n’ Dale, Dug, and Russell. That was the first time I recall meeting them, and it was well worth the wait to meet them all. I look forward to meeting them and other characters on future trips.

In addition to the costumed characters, I had several other lovely cast member interactions. My favorite interaction was with a cast member near the Affection Section who told me about a special animal show later in the day, gave me a butterfly wristband to color, and talked with me some about Chip ‘n’ Dale since we both love those characters. She appreciated seeing a picture I had gotten with them the day before. I loved talking with her as her personality was so warm, kind, and grandmotherly. That was an extra special interaction to me since it’s now been just over a year since the last time I visited with my maternal grandmother and next month will be a year since her death.

Aside from all the attractions, I enjoyed simply walking around the park and taking in everything. I think Animal Kingdom has the best theming and immersion of any of the Disney World parks. While that also makes it the most confusing park for me to navigate, it’s worth it for the beauty, atmosphere, and relaxation it brings as I explore.

I’m so glad I went to Animal Kingdom and had such a lovely time there. Although I’m glad I got to ride Dinosaur, explore the Boneyard, eat at Restaurantosaurus, and enjoy the rest of Dinoland, I wish they were all sticking around. It’s always painful when things I love go away, especially things I’ve loved since I was a little kid. Despite the painful losses and some unexpected issues, I’d say the Animal Kingdom trip was more enjoyable, pleasant, and soothing than any other Disney trip I’ve taken this year. It might even be my favorite Disney trip I’ve ever taken. I look forward to going back someday and revisiting the wonderful rides, shows, characters, theming, and animals.

Posted in Adventures, Communication, Getting Along with Each Other, Inspirational People | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Tribute to MOSH

Posted on August 27, 2025 by admin

Last Saturday, I went to my local Museum of Science and History, or MOSH. This museum has been around in some form since 1941, and it’s been in its current location since 1969. Since it is moving into a new location soon, that sadly means that it is closing down by September 1st. As such, I wanted to give a little tribute to the MOSH I’ve known all my life and also provide some awareness of its imminent closing in case anybody wants a last visit (or a first visit) while it is still in its current location. Here’s an overview of the museum and some of my experiences there over the years.

MOSH is laid out over several floors, with each floor having both interactive and display-only exhibits. The scientific exhibits include some live animals in an outdoor pond and indoor naturalist section, a planetarium show, and lots of information about aquatic mammals. The historical exhibits primarily focus on Florida history, though there is some inclusion of major events from the US and elsewhere in the world. There is also a space that hosts multiple different exhibits each year, one of which is a roomful of dinosaur animatronics (including one that can be controlled by museum visitors). While some parts are definitely aimed at kids, MOSH has something for visitors of all ages to enjoy.

I’ve had lots of fun times at MOSH over the years. Most of my visits were school field trips in elementary and middle school, though I also went there with family members on occasion. One of my few visits in my adult years was when I went swing dancing there back in 2018 for a special exhibit called Mission: Jax Genius. I and several other folks dressed up vintage style clothes and danced in honor of Frankie Manning, who was one of the most influential figures in Lindy Hop history and was celebrated at the exhibit as he was born in Jacksonville, Florida. Afterward, some of us went out for more dancing at Hyperion Brewing Company (which, sadly, closed down in 2024). That was one of the nicest micro adventures I went on in 2018.

My recent solo trip was lovely. I had lots of fun exploring MOSH after many years of being away, seeing lots of old favorites, checking out some new stuff, and watching/participating in the planetarium show. Aside from the show, some of the biggest highlights were petting a cool turtle named Gooter by the pond and seeing the animals in the naturalist section. In addition to taking lots of pictures, I got some pressed pennies, a simple bag backpack, and a MOSH map as souvenirs. It was a bittersweet visit, both because of the museum’s imminent closing and also because it was my first (and likely only, at this point) time going there since my dog Sawyer and my grandmother died. I’m glad I got to say goodbye to the MOSH I grew up loving and all the fun times it’s given me. This closure is yet another painful loss in a long line of painful losses in my life going back many years at this point. I’ll miss MOSH where it was, and I hope the new location is wonderful.

Posted in Adventures, Getting Along with Each Other, Inspirational People, Swing Dancing | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Tribute to MOSH

Ella Enchanted, Fawning, and Boundaries

Posted on August 20, 2025 by admin

Many years ago, I saw parts of a movie called Ella Enchanted (some spoilers to follow). It follows a woman named Ella who was cursed as a baby to be obedient to a fault. She does whatever anyone tells her to do, even if she doesn’t want to do it or if it breaks the laws of physics. Recently, I realized how that idea can be an allegory for a specific trauma response that I’ve dealt with for most of my life: fawning.

In short, fawning is a trauma response in which you give in to whatever someone else wants in the hope that they will not hurt you or will stop hurting you if they are already doing so. This is often learned as a kid in order to stop abuse from parents. As sad as that is, it’s even worse when fawning continues into and throughout adulthood. This creates all kinds of issues with people pleasing, failing to stand up for oneself, giving in to bad things, rejecting good things, and so on. In the worst cases, this occurs in every relationship, whether familial, friendship, work, social, etc.

Although I’ve had plenty of experience with all of the four main trauma responses, fawning is by far my most common response. I’ve long felt intimidated by others, whether out of hoping they’ll like me or at least avoid hurting me, so it’s been far too easy for me to put their wants ahead of my needs. Some particularly traumatic experiences and misguided self-improvement work have exacerbated this. It got even worse after my dog Sawyer died. Since then, it’s been overall harder for me to say no, set and maintain boundaries, and avoid going along with others’ expectations of me due to the pain of Sawyer’s death and life without him. Even though this has eased up some as I’ve healed, it’s still worse now than it was when Sawyer was still alive.

There is some good news. Last Saturday, the Plushie Dreadful fawn I ordered arrived. He’s brought me so much comfort in the short time he’s been here. I named him Little Ian, both because he reminds me of how I was as a kid and also so that I can comfort both of us by saying nice, sweet, gentle, and loving things to him and myself by extension (both present me and my inner child) when I call him by his name. That’s been so helpful lately.

I also started rereading Boundaries by Henry Cloud and John Townsend and picked up Letting Go by David Hawkins from where I left off a few months earlier. Aside from bringing up lots of painful emotions, they’ve also been great reminders of wonderful things that have helped me tremendously in the past and have given me new ideas on how to remove the fawn response. It’s too soon to know if there’s been any lasting change from getting back into them, though.

My hope is that Little Ian, those wonderful books, and more emotional and boundary work will gradually bring me more confidence and peace. It’s hard to say if that will happen, given how much I’ve struggled with fawning throughout my life, and how each small amount of progress seems to be more than offset by a huge regression later on. Whether it happens soon or much farther down the road, I hope that they will help me to become free, just as Ella was able to become free after breaking her curse. I hope to have good news to report on this soon.

Posted in Communication, Getting Along with Each Other, Great Books, Inspirational People, Life Hacks, Personal Freedom, Self-Improvement | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Comments Off on Ella Enchanted, Fawning, and Boundaries

A Few Teaching Tips

Posted on August 13, 2025 by admin

I’ve been thinking a bit about teaching and learning lately. Since I started my current day job, I’ve learned quite a bit. Most of that learning has come from one particular coworker who is excellent at explaining things in ways that make sense to me and encourages me to keep learning by highlighting the things I do well. That’s exactly how I learn best and explains why I’ve learned almost nothing from another coworker who is relentlessly negative, criticizes excessively without ever giving compliments, and only explains things in ways that make sense to him. As such, I wanted to share some things I’ve picked up from teaching people about juggling, unicycling, and other fun, random stuff. Without further ado, here are my tips for teaching.

  1. Make learning fun. This is perhaps the most important point on this list. Someone who doesn’t enjoy what they’re learning is extremely unlikely to continue with it. In contrast, someone who has a blast with the process will stick with it for a long time. I’ve learned a bit about spreadsheets just by playing around with them and looking up how to do particular tasks when I can’t figure it out on my own. In addition to being fun, that has taught me more about spreadsheets than I’d have learned had I treated it as a chore or been pressured by somebody else to learn how to use them. While some subjects may be more inherently enjoyable than others, any subject can be made interesting by someone who knows how to inject fun into the process.

  2. Teach a bit at a time. There are students of every subject under the sun who’ve studied it their whole lives and are still learning new things about it all the time. As such, it’s important to go slowly to avoid overwhelming students with far more information than they can handle. A few new things learned each day will add up over time to a huge mountain of knowledge.

  3. Encourage, encourage, encourage. Learning new things can be difficult and stressful. Why make it worse by discouraging someone and only focusing on the mistakes they make? Instead, focus on their successes and celebrate with them. It helps to point out how far they’ve come, especially if you’ve worked with them for a good while and have seen lots of progress. You might see progress they’ve missed, so be sure to point it out so that they can feel encouraged enough to stick with it rather than quitting during the difficult times.

  4. Be gentle. Criticism is one of the most difficult things to properly give. Some folks, including me, have a hard time handling criticism in general. Even those who can better receive it still can only take so much before giving up. Accordingly, point out what someone is doing well before gingerly focusing on areas for improvement. Additionally, you can use an accusation audit to soften the pain of criticism and make it effective for improvement rather than counterproductive. I’ve said before on this blog that being gentler with my dog Sawyer than almost anybody else in the family is what endeared him so much to me. As with animals, so with humans.

  5. Let them figure out some things on their own. Clearly, this is only to be done some of the time. If this were done all the time, then there’d be no need for anybody to teach anybody else anything. That being said, anything that you learn for yourself will stick with you much longer and much deeper than something someone else tells you. I like to think of this as giving somebody two plus two and letting them add it up rather than simply telling them the answer.
Posted in Communication, Getting Along with Each Other, Inspirational People | Tagged , , , , , , , | Comments Off on A Few Teaching Tips