I’m super impressionable. How impressionable, you might ask? Well, if I watch a movie and find one particular character likable or relatable, I’ll start acting like them without even trying. Once I start doing this, it can take me anywhere from a few days to more than a month to stop; it all depends on how much I like the character and how big an impression they leave on me. Additionally, I love learning about how other people think. Whenever I listen to someone, I try to keep my mind as open as possible so I can understand where they’re coming from. One downside of this is that it makes me inclined to go along with whatever someone says even when it causes me a lot of problems.
As a result of these tendencies, I’ve been led astray many times. I’ve signed onto organizations, projects, causes, and other big group endeavors because I found them compelling even though something about them felt fishy at the time. I have also done things that were contrary to my values without even realizing it until after the fact. Fortunately, I’ve managed to free myself from all of those things and get to a place of greater independence in how I think, speak, and act. I’m determined to steer clear of blindly following any person or group again and I’ve actively taken steps to avoid repeating those mistakes. Some of what I’ve done in this regard includes avoiding formal membership with as many groups and organizations as possible so that I’m not surrounded by people telling me how to think or what to do, absorbing a wide range of perspectives from many different people to keep me from focusing on just one person’s ideas, thinking things through and deciding for myself how I see the world, and studying persuasion to help me identify when I’m being manipulated and give me some techniques to effectively resist it.
While all of those things have helped, they’ve only taken me so far. I still often have trouble standing up for myself and saying no. A lot of this is due to the fear of what someone might do to me if I let them down. So now I’m working on ridding myself of this fear by finding small ways to assert myself and seeing that nothing bad happens. I did this for a few months earlier this year, so I know from experience that it works. My goal is to do this long enough to make it a habit so that I can benefit from it every day. So far it’s working pretty well. Since I’ve made great progress with everything else I mentioned in this post, I’m looking forward to seeing the progress I’ll continue to make by acting from a place of confidence instead of fear.