There is so much pressure to follow a certain path in life. I see so many people who are burnt out, going through the motions, and doing things that other people want them to do instead of things that they want to do. A lot of this comes from family members, especially older ones who followed paths that used to work well but no longer do. They’re doing well because of the paths they chose, so they think that those paths will also work well for anybody who follows them. Unfortunately, many of them don’t realize that the world in which they grew up no longer exists, so attaining fulfillment and success often requires finding or even forging a new path. Friends can also add pressure in these situation, and all this pressure from friends and family members can cause a lot of conflict in these relationships.
Someone who doesn’t want to follow a more traditional path may feel resentful toward those who expect them to do so; they may feel like they’re being forced to live a certain way and do things that they “should” do just to please the people close to them. The family members may want to help them avoid getting hurt, failing, or otherwise ending up in a bad life situation; they may think that the person they’re trying to help is ungrateful or foolish. It’s possible for some people to have bad intentions behind their words and actions, but it’s more likely that everyone involved has good intentions. Poor communication skills, including making assumptions, speaking without listening, and listening to reply instead of to understand, make these kinds of situations worse and turn people away from each other. Improved communication can make things better, but it doesn’t guarantee that anyone will agree with your position. You may still have to decide between following your dreams and living how other people think you should, and that can be a very difficult decision.
Fortunately, you can still take ownership of your life, live intentionally instead of just automatically doing what’s expected of you, and figure out a plan that works well for you (if you haven’t already done that). Thanks to the internet, it’s easier than ever to discover and investigate many different life paths, get advice directly from people who are living their dreams, and figure out how to live as you like. This wasn’t available until relatively recently when the internet exploded in popularity and usefulness, so people who grew up without it had far fewer opportunities to find alternatives to traditional life paths. A select few had access to someone who lived differently and could show them the way, but most people probably ended up choosing a life path based on the way their friends and family members thought they should live. Nowadays, you can befriend and regularly converse with people who share many of your life goals regardless of your location; even if they live far away from you and there is nobody in your neck of the woods who understands you, you can still find solace and support in your long-distance friends.
I’ve gotten mixed responses whenever I’ve mentioned some of my life plans. My family members have typically recommended that I pursue a more common path and have even attempted to talk me out of my plans. As a result, I’ve refrained from saying much more to them, especially since they haven’t tried what I have in mind and can’t offer me advice about how to do it or whether or not it’s worth pursuing. In contrast, several of my friends have encouraged me to pursue my plans them and, in some cases, said that they have similar plans of their own; a few of them have even done some of the things that I have thus far only dreamed of doing. Whenever someone close to me responds positively to my goals and offers me practical advice for achieving them, I feel like we grow even closer and that I can share more of my heart with them. I’m fortunate to have several friends like this in Jacksonville and in other parts of North America. They’re either living the life of their dreams or working toward it. They motivate me to keep pursuing my dreams with their encouraging words and actions, they sometimes give me advice on how to get where I want to be, and they’ve helped me get onto and stay on this productive path. I’m grateful for their friendship and everything they’ve done to help me figure out the life path that’s right for me.