Folks who cross my path tend to ask me the same questions repeatedly. I’ve grown tired of answering them, even when they’re simple questions. As such, I decided to make a page of frequently asked questions. Whether by sending someone the link to this post or by carrying a wallet-sized version, I hope that this will save me the trouble of verbally answering these questions for the rest of my life while still giving some information about me to those who are curious. Without further ado, here are the most common questions that I’d rather not answer anymore.
Q: What do you do for work?
A: Few questions turn me off of someone faster than this one, especially when this is the first question someone asks me right after we meet for the first time ever. Is that really the most interesting question you can come up with to ask this new person? Beyond that, I dislike talking about work as it is often boring, stressful, and takes away time from my life that I’d rather spend on things I enjoy. Also, talking about work tends to make people judge each other by what they do and consider each other to be their job titles instead of just something they do in part of their lives (ie “janitor” instead of “someone who does janitorial work”), which often leads to unpleasant assumptions and ideas about others. I don’t care to talk about what I do for work or what you do for work. Instead, let’s talk about fun, interesting things that both of us can enjoy talking about.
Q: Why are you so quiet?
A: I like to make my words count. That means I tend to speak only when I have something to say, which is not that often as most conversation is boring or stressful for me. My own head is quite an entertaining place, and I can do whatever I like in there without being met with negativity from anybody else. I also don’t like explaining myself much, repeating what I say, having to talk in loud situations, or being interrupted, all of which happens to me a lot. As such, I generally say little and mostly prefer to just be quietly present with others.
Q: How long did it take you to grow your beard that long?
A: This is a hard question to answer. My beard has changed shape and size many times since I started growing this version of it back in late 2016 and even more so since I first started growing a circle beard back in high school. If I had to guess, I’d say it would have taken about two years to get to its current length if I’d started from scratch. Beards typically grow about half an inch a month, and beard length in beard competitions is measured from the bottom of the closed lip on down. My beard is around a foot long, so it would take somebody about two years of no shaving to match my current beard length.
Q: Have you tried/why don’t you try ______?
A: I dislike unsolicited advice, especially when it comes after I simply answer a question someone has about how I’m doing or what’s going on. I’ve learned a lot about how to take good care of myself, and someone speaking as if they necessarily know that what they’re saying will help rather than hurt rubs me the wrong way. Often, someone has recommended I try something that has consistently failed for me, do something that I was already doing, or assumed that what works for them must also work for me. In fact, I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble in life by blindly following what someone else wanted me to do rather than finding something that fits who I am and works well for me, even if that’s something different than what works well for the average person. The idea of asking as a polite way of telling is something I heard as a kid and has stuck in the back of my head all these years, and it seems truest whenever unsolicited advice occurs.
Q: Are you gonna get another one?
A: I wish everybody would stop asking me that question. My dog Sawyer was my best friend ever. It took me over a year and a half to feel decent after he died, and I only got there that quickly because I cried almost all day, almost every day during that time and didn’t have a day job to get in the way of healing. I don’t want to go through that pain again since I barely survived it the first time and I don’t know if I’d survive it a second time, especially since I’m so busy now that I have hardly any time for the deep healing work that I did years ago. Beyond that, dogs are living beings that require food, shelter, water, vet visits, enrichment, and other stuff that takes lots of time and money. Even if I were capable of properly caring and providing for another living being in all those ways, it would still be up to me as to whether or not I’d choose to do so. I doubt you want me to die from grief over losing another animal friend, and I also doubt that you’re willing to pay all my bills that would occur if I got a pet. So instead of asking me if I’m going to get another animal friend or flat-out telling me to do so (remembering what I said above about unsolicited advice), please instead ask for stories, pictures, videos, fun and funny memories, and other sweet things from my life with Sawyer. I’m glad to share any and all of those with you.