When little kids attempt something, nearby adults often give them a great deal of encouragement and will celebrate even small accomplishments with them. As the kids age, that positive support tends to decrease despite the skill level increasing. That can result in difficulties for those who were celebrated as kids for small accomplishments but are later ignored for big accomplishments.
I don’t know why encouragement can be so common when we’re young and so scarce when we’re older. Whatever the reason, I think one of its effects is making people feel as if even their best efforts aren’t good enough. In turn, that can make them feel as if they themselves aren’t good enough, which can result in all kinds of emotional issues stemming from a sense of needing to be perfect. I’ve dealt with this for much of my life and have only fairly recently found freedom from it.
Not giving encouragement can be difficult to change once it’s become a habit. The upside is that once encouragement becomes a habit, it will tend to reinforce itself and become second nature. So keep up the encouragement. Notice when your loved ones accomplish something and celebrate with them. Also celebrate yourself by recognizing how far you’ve come and how what was once impossible for you is now easy. One way I do this is by keeping a list of my successes, victories, and accomplishments. Whether they’re big or small, old or new, if it made me feel good or showed some growth on my part, I add it to the list. I don’t check the list every day but simply having it and adding to it a few times a week has made my life much better. This is one way I keep myself in check. It’s fine to want progress and to work on continual improvement. However, avoid being hard on yourself when progress is slow. Instead, remind yourself how far you’ve come and how good it feels to do something you love.