I had a phenomenal heart-to-heart yesterday with someone who helped me learn a lot more about myself. That exchange also reminded me of a great concept related to solving problems: if you can describe the problem, you can solve it. This approach works well for me because it forces me to slow down and think things through from a simple starting point. That prevents my mind from running away from me and making me feel overwhelmed. When that happens, I can easily imagine many different ways that the problem could get worse but I can’t think of any way to solve it. Pausing and thinking about what I’m trying to change helps me determine what’s wrong and then find a solution.
Sometimes this requires a lot of thinking but occasionally the answers come to me with hardly any effort. On those occasions, I’ll just start talking about a problem I want to solve and I’ll find a solution within a matter of minutes (sometimes even seconds). Although this works well when applied to external matters, it also helps when directed inward. Describing something I’d like to change within myself allows me to watch my behavior as if I’m an outside observer. Doing this, along with thinking of myself as someone I’m supposed to help, can give me enough separation to see possibilities that would otherwise have remained hidden from me.
This is one reason I value these heart-to-heart exchanges with people I trust. For one thing, talking openly about my concerns and struggles just feels good. I always enjoy being able to let my guard down and fully share myself with another person who is also doing the same. Additionally, doing this helps me notice behaviors I had never thought much about before and find ways to change them if I like. Like I mentioned in the previous paragraph, this gives me some extra self-awareness, either by simply sharing things that are on my heart with someone I trust or getting feedback from them about things they see in me that I can’t see in myself. I’m going to try to keep all of this in mind and make good use of it. I hope this helps you as much as it’s helped me.