I recently mentioned having impostor syndrome and a friend asked me if I had any tips for managing it. Although I had never thought much about it before, I reflected on my experiences this year and came up with several things worth mentioning. The first one is reminding myself of my successes, both past and present. Challenges I’ve overcome, skills I’ve learned, things I’ve gotten better at, people I’ve helped, things once difficult that are now easy, etc. So much comes to mind here that it gives me confidence that, one way or another, I’ll be able to get through any predicament I find myself in.
I also find it helpful to keep in mind that even the most successful people made things up as they went and learned a lot along the way. Nobody started out the gate an instant success or knew every step they’d take before they took it. I know from the things I’ve learned that learning as I go is often more valuable than trying to figure it all out in advance. Whenever I remember that, it gives me hope that I can still accomplish great things even if I don’t always know what I’m doing.
Words have always been extremely fascinating and important to me and I really appreciate the affirming words that many people I know have given me over the years. These can range from simple compliments to major expressions of gratitude to showing me things about myself that I have a hard time seeing, appreciating, or accepting. Trying to see myself as my loved ones see me can make a huge difference when I’m feeling low.
The last thing that came to mind is observing my thoughts and feelings without labeling, judging, or trying to change them. If I feel like a fake or a failure, I’ll just let those feelings be without buying into them or trying to shoo them away. The observation and lack of resistance reminds me that those feelings aren’t part of me and that they’re incorrect, which makes them go away on their own fairly quickly (in most cases; even when they stick around for a while, observing them makes me feel more at peace than when I’m resisting them).
I haven’t conquered impostor syndrome but I have found all of the above helpful for dealing with it. All the inner work I’ve done over the past few months has reduced both the frequency and intensity of impostor syndrome; this gives me less to deal with when it does show up. I have a feeling that continuing to surrender will gradually whittle down what remains of my impostor syndrome until there’s nothing left. We’ll find out someday. I hope this has been helpful and I will see you in the next post.