In the past few years, I’ve seen the power of expectations. More specifically, I’ve seen how they can negatively affect my mood and turn something that might otherwise have been enjoyable into a disappointment. Some people might say that this happened because I’ve had the wrong expectations or because I had my expectations set too high. If that’s the been their experience and they can use expectations to get what they want, then I’m glad for them. For myself, however, I think I’m better off avoiding expectations altogether.
Some of my most enjoyable experiences have come when I wasn’t expecting anything special to happen. These include being blown away by movies that I knew nothing about before watching them, feeling pleasantly surprised at seeing people for the first time in ages, and having wonderful interactions that I never planned or even saw coming. In contrast, some of the most disappointing times in my life have resulted from my unmet expectations. One example that I’ve experienced countless times is showing someone something that I think they’ll enjoy only for them to react differently than I imagined they would. I think that that in particular is a big part of why I’ve moved away from setting expectations. If so, then this is an example of pain revealing the path to freedom.
When I participate in something at this point, I try to set an intention rather than an expectation. The intention can be simple, such as “I’m going to juggle in the park today”. This way, I’ve committed to doing something without expecting it to go any specific way. Doing this also helps me stay in the present moment, prevents me from getting my hopes up, and allows me to see opportunities that I could easily miss if I were focused on a particular outcome. Avoiding expectations and going along with whatever happens is much better than fighting my emotions and creating conflict within myself. This has been an extremely helpful mindset change and I’m glad I made it.