Most people have many acquaintances and a few friends. They may think they have more friends than they actually do until they stop and think about their relationships. Then they’ll probably realize that several people they thought of as friends are really just acquaintances. I figured this for myself last year and I’m glad I did. It helped me rethink a number of things and get to a better place mentally. Here are some things I noticed.
There’s a sense of closeness between friends that doesn’t exist between acquaintances. The distance between acquaintances and friends is far greater than the distance between strangers and acquaintances. You can share your day with acquaintances and do fun things with them. With friends, you can share your heart and go through every season in life together, good times and hard times alike. Acquaintances can still enjoy each other’s company and have a great time together, but nowhere near the extent to which friends can do so.
Further, friends will be much quicker to greet each other than acquaintances. Greetings between acquaintances can be friendly but they may also be awkward and contain a great deal of uncertainty. In contrast, when friends great each other, it usually looks like someone seeing their dog after a long day away; there’s no question that they’re happy to see each other and don’t care what anyone else thinks about it. Everything about the way they interact both during and after the greeting indicates interest in each other: body position, direction their feet are pointing, eye movement, tuning everything else out and focusing on the other person, etc. These are some signs that are useful in distinguishing friends from acquaintances.
Mistaking acquaintances for friends caused me a lot of grief. It took a long time for me to even consider this, but once I did, I quickly changed my perspective and felt much better afterward. I stopped chasing acquaintances and began to focus more on my friends. At this point, I still enjoy hanging out with several acquaintances of mine, but I no longer expect them to do for me that which can only be done by friends. Instead, I reserve my energy and big ideas for my friends, and I have a much better time as a result. This was a difficult lesson to learn (as many are) but it’s been incredibly helpful and I plan to continue practicing the things it’s taught me.