For as long as I can remember, I’ve gone out regularly with a group of people I see on a regular basis: friends, coworkers, classmates, etc. I’ve been in many different groups over the past six years in particular, but I’ve always gone out frequently with at least a few people. Despite having several reserved and introverted tendencies, I’ve enjoyed hanging out with those close to me, especially when it involves a physical activity such as swing dancing or sports. However, I think I came to rely too much on those fun times; when I couldn’t go to an event or wasn’t invited to one, I got sad and felt unwanted. Once I realized this tendency (with the help of a few friends who pointed it out to me), I began to focus on finding contentment within myself.
I’ve still gone out at least once a week to do some fun group activity every so often, which I’ve enjoyed tremendously, but I haven’t gone out nearly as much lately as I used to. That’s because I’ve taken a great deal of time for myself over the past few months to spend however I like. This has mainly consisted of reading, writing, practicing with my unicycle, juggling, stretching, working out, meditating, and working through my feelings. This has shown me that I can be content with my own company, whether by working on a hobby or sitting in a meditative state, and has made me stop being dependent on other people to feel good.
The self-improvement work I’ve done during my time of solitude has helped make the recent times in which I’ve gone out more enjoyable. Now instead of feeling like I have to have a great experience, hyping it up in my mind, and feeling disappointed if it doesn’t go the way I wanted, I can relax, accept whatever happens, and feel just as good afterward as I did beforehand. It’s amazing to be able to walk into a situation without stressing about how it’s going to go and being able to enjoy it even if it goes differently than I had expected. I’m glad I took the time to think about all of this and work through it. That’s something I really only started doing with troubling situations last year, and it’s made a huge positive difference in my life. I plan to continue doing this whenever and wherever it feels necessary as I slowly build for myself the life of my dreams.