Some people are very hard on themselves. They’ll heavily reprimand themselves for the slightest mistake and show themselves little to no compassion or understanding. This can be most easily seen when they’re trying to learn something new or do self-improvement work.
If you’re like most people, then chances are that you’ve had the habits and behaviors you’re working to change for as long as you can remember. Your friends, family members, coworkers, and other people close to you probably created environments that caused you to adopt those tendencies in the first place or make it easy for you to continue them in the present, or maybe both. It takes a great deal of time and focus to change habits, so please, give yourself a break. You may need years of consistent, dedicated effort to undo behavior patterns that have been ingrained and continually reinforced for decades.
When it comes to learning something new, mistakes are inevitable. There can be even more mistakes if you’re learning another method of doing a familiar activity that you’ve gotten used to doing in a specific way. After a while of practicing the new method, it’ll become much easier to use it instead of the old method; eventually, it’ll be second nature for you to use the new method. In the meantime, be kind to yourself, remind yourself that you’re doing your best, and keep in mind that you’ll get there in time.
It’s taken me a long time to learn this stuff and apply it to my life. I’m thankful for a close friend who has consistently supported me, pointed out my strengths, and pleaded with me to give myself a break. Gentle guidance works better than stern correction whenever I teach someone a skill (such as juggling, for instance) or help them when they’re struggling, so it makes sense that this would also be the case when I apply it to myself. This has made it easier for me to show love to myself and treat myself like someone I care about; this, in turn, has made it easier to show love to other people. I find I can love and support other people more effectively since I started taking care of myself; it feels more genuine, consistent, and abundant in my own life, so out of that abundance comes plenty for others. I hope something in here spoke to you and gave you something practical that you can use to improve your life. Take care and I’ll see you in the next post.