For at least the last four years, I’ve spent lots of time thinking about how fleeting everything in life is. Plenty of things that seem like they’ll always be around can vanish in a short time. Afterward, it can be as if they were never there in the first place. Other things pop up overnight and are gone just as fast. While time in general seems to move faster now than it did when I was a kid, I believe that part of that is how fast things fall away and get replaced with other things. Let’s explore this together.
Disney World is a great example of change. Many reference Walt Disney’s idea that Disneyland would never be finished. Sadly, they normally do this as a callous response to someone else’s distress over losing one of their favorite Disney attractions that has been removed and replaced with something else. That aside, there has been a ton of change at every Disney park since it first opened. Many of them bear little to no resemblance to how they looked on opening day. Some of the many changes over the past few years at Disney World include the loss of MuppetVision 3D at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, DinoLand U.S.A. and the Affection Section petting zoo at Animal Kingdom, and the Rivers of America and the longest-running version of Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress at the Magic Kingdom. I was one of many folks who felt shocked and saddened by the loss of these wonderful attractions, several of which had been around for over thirty years. They all seemed immune to removal until they weren’t. As glad as I am that I got to experience them all before they were gone, I still wish that I could go experience them again on future trips.
Unfortunately, as with so many other lessons I’ve learned, this one came out of heartbreak. My dog Sawyer’s death is what drove this home for me. Since then, it’s been further driven home by the deaths of my grandmother and others close to me. I so wish I’d spent more time with Sawyer, my grandparents, and other loved ones who have died. It hurts so much that I won’t get any other opportunities to visit with them on Earth. There are things I wish I’d said to and done with all of them, and now it’s too late. It especially hurts that I won’t get a chance to save more of Sawyer’s fur, get a clay impression of his paw, and stand up for him so that he could have gotten an opportunity for more life. I wish all of that were different and it kills me that it isn’t.
I often think of the ephemerality of life when I seek to make plans to visit with someone I like and they consistently turn me down, somehow always have plans, or otherwise don’t make time or even show interest in hanging out with me. For example, if I ask someone whom I consider a friend to hang out with me at a particular activity or on a specific day, the person will often decline entirely without suggesting any alternative. They hardly ever say anything along the lines of, “I can’t meet then; how about another time?” or “I’d rather not do A, so how about B instead?” The fact that they don’t suggest an alternative comes across to me as if they don’t want to spend time with me at all, and that hurts me. Reinforcing this is the fact that most folks I know don’t reach out to me. I have to reach out to them, whether it’s to make plans, ask for help, or simply say hello. Sometimes I think about this in relation to folks I’ve known who died unexpectedly, especially those who were quite young when they died. I wonder how their relationships would have changed if everyone knew how little time together they had left. I wonder how those I know would think and feel about our interactions if I died unexpectedly.
All of this is why I do my best to seize opportunities as they arise. When I’m on the fence about something, I remember my values, think about how I might not get the chance to do that particular thing again, and ask myself how I’d feel looking back someday if I missed my chance. After all, I never know how long an opportunity will last or if it will come back someday. The past six years have repeatedly shown me that there are no guarantees in life and that anything and everything can change in a second. Some say that have no regrets. I have many, though I’m doing what I can to have fewer regrets over missed opportunities going forward. As with so many other life lessons, this is one that I wish I’d learned sooner and far less painfully. I only hope that my satisfactions in life will someday outweigh my regrets.