“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure.” That’s a pretty well-known saying that shows how differently people can value the same item. Recently, I realized that this is the heart of almost all debates, fights, arguments, and the like about nearly everything.
Humans seem willing to fight over just about anything. Food, drinks, sports teams, superheroes, books, movies, TV shows, hobbies, and so on. There is increasingly less willingness to agree to disagree on the enjoyment of anything subjective. Even where there aren’t fights, there is still often some hostility. For example, I haven’t talked to most folks I know about my love of stuffed animals out of fear that they’d mock me, a grown man with a big beard, for still finding value and comfort in them. While I have received support where I have talked about them or carried them around, many haven’t been so fortunate. That both angers and saddens me, as well as reinforcing my decision to only talk about this with a select few who’ve shown themselves to be worthy of knowing about it. Why can’t there be more acceptance, or at least indifference, in matters of personal taste where one person’s interests affect only that person?
I’ve thought about this a lot lately because of all the attractions at Disney World that have been removed or heavily changed within the last few years (or will be soon). Those who see an attraction as trash can’t understand those who see it as treasure and feel upset that it’s gone. Similarly, those who see it as treasure can’t understand those who see it as trash and feel indifferent or even glad that it’s gone. Hence endless fighting over whether or not a particular attraction was outdated, lame, unpopular, etc.
Much as some speak ill toward certain attractions and those who enjoy them, I doubt that they would appreciate others belittling them and their feelings when they lose an attraction they love. I am curious to see what would happen if the tables were turned, and if those who normally belittle would rethink their behavior after being on the receiving end of what they dish out. I suspect that most don’t have the self-awareness and humility to recognize their own hypocrisy, even when it’s served back to them.
I wish there were more understanding and compassion for those mourning something they’ve loved and lost. I’m sure that that would have made it much easier for me to handle my dog Sawyer’s death. While there was lots of compassion, there were also folks who didn’t seem to understand or care much about how I could feel so hurt for so long. Some wanted me to “get a new pet,” seemed to want me to stop posting/talking about Sawyer, changed the subject when I brought him up, or avoided me more than they did during Sawyer’s life even when I wanted some company. Unfortunately, some poor souls face even worse. When some humans lose their animal friends, others often try to diminish their pain by telling them not to cry, saying that they’re “just animals” or whatever kind of animal they think isn’t worth loving (reptiles, fish, rats, etc.), mock them for showing vulnerability, and all kinds of other horribly cruel acts. It’s one thing to not care about someone’s feelings around a defunct theme park attraction; it’s a whole lot worse to show so little compassion toward someone grieving the loss of a loved one. That said, I firmly believe that if there were more compassion for the former, there would also be more compassion for the latter.
Showing compassion for someone who’s hurting doesn’t require everyone to think and feel similarly about the source of the pain. I can show compassionate toward somebody who is missing a past attraction, show, book series, or anything else they love even if I am not personally interested in that thing. Kindness doesn’t require agreement, only love. I fear that there is so much disagreement because there is so little love, and I don’t know how to change that. I don’t want to drive myself crazy again by trying to change everyone around me and hope that what failed for years somehow succeeds this time. Instead, I’ll continue releasing as much pain as I can, do my best to treat others better, enjoy what I love while it’s still available, and stick with those who treat me well while avoiding those who treat me badly. That’s all I can do, and it’s better than nothing.