I had a lot of habits as a kid that allowed me to have multiple hobbies and extracurricular activities while still doing well in school without burning out. Most of those beneficial habits were unintentional, planned for me by others, or both. As a result, it’s taken me a long time to realize what they were and why they helped me so much. Putting several of them into practice this year has been incredibly beneficial for my health and well-being.
From elementary through high school, I had largely consistent times for going to bed and waking up, and I got more than enough sleep most nights. I slept in when I didn’t have school or a pressing reason to wake up early and sometimes got less than enough sleep when I woke up early for trips but those were only occasional exceptions. All that quality sleep provided a solid foundation for everything else in my life for almost two decades.
I always watched TV while eating breakfast before school. As far as I can remember, I never stressed about tests, quizzes, presentations, extracurriculars, or any other activities that would be happening later that day. I focused on whatever show or commercial was on as I ate, completely unconcerned with anything in the future. Similarly, I often read a book on long car trips. I’d get so absorbed into the book that I wouldn’t hear anybody else in the car talking, even if they were talking about me, to me, or calling my name. I loved being so deeply in the moment that nothing else took away the enjoyment of whatever I was doing at the time. That’s a skill I somehow had long before I started consciously working on it years after seeming to lose it.
My social life was much better balanced for most of my upbringing than it’s been since I became an adult. There were a few times for socializing in school, such as during lunch and PE, but those were about it. Most of my time in school involved sitting down quietly, listening to the teacher, and doing work at my desk. Even interactions with the teacher were mostly limited to asking questions or giving answers. Outside of school, I stuck mostly to myself at home. My afternoons were largely spent watching TV, swimming, reading, juggling, doing schoolwork, playing with my toys, and relaxing. Sometimes I’d go visit with friends but those times were few and far between. Plenty of time to myself kept me from getting burnt out, made me look forward to socializing when it came around, and allowed me to recover fairly quickly from whatever difficult, stressful, or draining things occurred.
This phase of my life occurred long before I realized I had anxiety and depression, and long before they worsened. It was even longer before I learned how to effectively manage those issues, along with stress and other negative emotions. As such, I credit my relatively stable and consistent activities during those years to the solid habits and routines that I had then. Without them, I can’t imagine doing more than a fraction of what I accomplished; even then, I’m certain I’d have felt much more stressed and gotten totally burned out.
In adulthood, the pressure to be social almost constantly whenever I go out is a huge part of what has burned me out so much over the past decade. There is nearly nonstop talking and “socializing” at nearly every event I attend, whether it’s related to dancing, juggling, a holiday, or just about anything else. I greatly appreciate those who can enjoy a dance, a round of juggling, or meaningful moment without filling every single second with words. My closest friends also give me plenty of space. This allows us to better enjoy each other’s company when we do see each other and prevents our interactions from becoming overbearing on anybody.
I’ve gotten back to spending lots of time at home to rest and recover from exhaustion. On my best days, I can take good enough care of myself to prevent exhaustion, which is much easier than recovering from it. When I do go out for activities I enjoy, I do so on my own terms rather than being forced into doing it somebody else’s way. That means I leave when I’m ready to leave, back out of conversations that I dislike, spend time by myself as needed, and tend toward focused group activities (such as a game or athletic event) rather than talking circles that go nowhere interesting.
I also seem to be getting back the deep focus on the present moment I mentioned earlier. A great example is my monthly juggling event from a few weekends ago. I had a juggling gig later that day. In fact, I had to leave my event early to make it to the gig on time. Despite that, I hardly thought about the gig while I was in the park and I didn’t stress about it at all until after I’d left. That made for a lovely afternoon and got the rest of my day started on a good foot.
Rediscovering and implementing these practices has allowed me to recapture the magic I experienced so often as a kid without the exhaustion I’ve felt so much as an adult. Everything I’ve said in this post has become even more crucial since I no longer have my dog Sawyer to help me recover from burnout. I’m so thankful I had him as long as I did, and that I developed enough emotional intelligence and gathered enough life hacks to be doing as well as I am despite losing him. If I’m doing this well now, who knows how well I’ll be doing after another year of living more effectively? I look forward to seeing it.