It’s been a little over six months since my most recent birthday. Hard to believe that much time has passed already. Feels like yesterday that I was on a beautiful beach celebrating with some wonderful friends. We danced, had some water gun fights, spent a lot of time in the ocean, had lots of great conversations, and they sang to me while giving me a birthday cupcake. One of my friends also gave me my first ever surfing lesson. That was one of the best days of my life. I felt just like Bear in this clip from Bear in the Big Blue House: surrounded by love and so full of love from everyone showing me how much I mean to them.
Since then, I’ve had some big shakeups in my life. A situation I thought would go on for years ended abruptly three months later, just before the end of 2021. I’ve released a lot of negativity that I didn’t know was still there, worked on repairing several relationships with people close to me, and gained a lot of clarity on my next steps in life. There’s been a lot of anxiety, depression, feelings of hopelessness, and questions about my future, including whether I even had a future. Fortunately, I’ve been able to overcome all of that thanks to a lot of inner work and a lot of love from friends and family alike.
It’s wild to think how much has changed over the past six months, mostly for good. I never saw all this coming. It feels like the sun has come back in my life. I’ve found a new sense of meaning and purpose after a long stretch of feeling depressed and thinking it was all pointless. I still don’t know exactly what the future holds but I have a better plan for how to move forward. My goal is the same but I’ve changed my approach to reaching that goal. I might take some detours along the way. Already starting down some paths I thought were closed off to me after I exited them many years ago. That’s ok. Not everything worth doing is a straight shot from Point A to Point B. Sometimes detours are a necessary part of the process.
All of this feels like I’m waking up from a ten year dream. Both the last few months of 2021 and the entirety of 2022 thus far have been quite different than I thought they’d be. I didn’t expect it to go like this but I’m glad for what’s happened since it’s taken this turn. Each day, I’ll continue to move a little closer to the life I want. I look forward to seeing how the next six months go and where I’ll be in life when my next birthday comes around.