I’ve read a lot about communication and I’ve synthesized what I’ve learned about seeing things from someone else’s perspective into this blog post. These techniques work well for me and several friends have said that they also find the techniques useful. Without further ado, here are the six steps:
- Enter a relaxed state by praying, meditating, deep breathing, or some other calming activity
- Think of a few major perspective changes you’ve had in your own life
- Find someone you personally like who has a very different perspective than you on some nontrivial issue
- Identify as many points of agreement/common ground as possible
- Assume that they, like you, have the best intentions and believe that their perspective offers the greatest chance of things working out well
- Listen to them enough that you understand where they’re coming from and then restate their points in your own words
These steps are based on lessons I’ve learned from reading a variety of books on psychology and communication, most notably How to Win Friends and Influence People and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Did they let you see someone else or their ideas in a better light or help you understand how they can think differently than you where you couldn’t see it before? Was there anything interesting you found about this experience? I hope these steps help facilitate more civil, useful conversations and reduce the amount of hostility in the world.